


Trace Evidence

by SapphicScholar



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Coming Out, Detective/Medical Examiner AU, Eventual Smut, F/F, Police Procedural, Pride, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:11:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11184855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicScholar/pseuds/SapphicScholar
Summary: In this Rizzoli&Isles-inspired (but so much gayer) AU, Alex Danvers is the Chief Medical Examiner at NCPD, where her best friend Maggie Sawyer works as a homicide detective with her partner, James Olsen. Kara Danvers (no powers) is an officer and is in a relationship with the Chief Forensic Scientist, Lena Luthor, and Winn Schott works down in the Forensics Division with her.Most of the NCPD already thinks Maggie and Alex are a couple, but what will it take to finally bring these two ladies together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to bzarcher for the title for this fic!
> 
> A/N: Alex is going to be slightly OOC in this requested AU, since I think as an ME, she’d need to be a little less impulsive/quick to jump into the fight. There will be plenty of nerdy scientist Danvers, though, so I like to think of this version of Alex as what she might have been like had she done medical school and not basically become a soldier with the DEO.
> 
> T/W for Chapter 1: Mentions of a victim being roofied and murdered, but no sexual violence

“Danvers! Any word?” Detective Sawyer called from the door to the autopsy room.

“I told you that I’d tell you as soon as I had anything, didn’t I?” Alex barely looked up from the body, rolling her eyes at Maggie’s impatience.

“Yeah, but, ya know, you’re so brilliant, I just thought maybe you already had some possible answers…”

“Flattery will get you many places, Detective, but it won’t rush science.” As if to prove her point, Alex stood up and stepped away from the body of the Jane Doe the team had recovered from behind a row of bars that morning.

“What about the promise of pizza tonight?”

“You’re not going to make me put vegetables on it, are you?”

Shaking her head, Maggie chuckled. “You went to medical school, Danvers. How do you eat like a frat bro without worrying about your health?”

“An excellent workout regimen,” Alex teased.

Maggie bit back a more flirtatious remark about just how much good all that exercise was doing for the ME’s body, knowing it would be unprofessional. They were colleagues—well, they were friends, best friends, even—but they didn’t date, weren’t supposed to think about each other that way, even if Maggie was guilty of considering it every now and again. Besides, as far as Maggie knew, Alex wouldn’t even consider women as an option. Her last fling had been with National City’s resident genius/libertarian/asshole, Max Lord, and even though it had only lasted two dates before she couldn’t tolerate his presence any longer, the mere fact that she was willing to try made Maggie think the woman must be solidly heterosexual.

Shaking her head, trying to focus back in on the situation, Maggie smiled widely at Alex, flashing her trademark dimples in what she hoped was an irresistible expression. “Is there anything at all you can tell me?”

“That depends. Are you going to run off the second I give you something, even though I’m still working?”

“Probably…unless you can entice me to stay down here with you.” Maggie chastised herself for the obviously flirty remark, not that it was too far from their usual rapport. There was a reason half of the station already thought they were dating, Alex’s sister included. It didn’t help that Alex had stopped trying to quash the rumors these days, her first attempts having been met with a loud chorus of: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” and other bastardizations of the quote.

With a melodramatic sigh, Alex gave in. It wasn’t her fault that she had such a hard time saying no to Maggie. Any of the other detectives? It was as simple as scowling and shaking her head before they took off running with a promise not to bother her until she called them. Well, they hadn’t at first, but once Detective Olsen caught her sparring with Commissioner J’onzz in the precinct’s gym, then brought back as many members of the staff as he could find to verify his report, they gave her a fair amount of leeway. Lena, Kara’s girlfriend and the Chief Forensic Scientist at the precinct, was pretty much the only one she’d talk to about her work while it was still in process, though on days when she was feeling generous, she’d let Winn, one of the newer scientists in Lena’s division and Kara’s longtime best friend, join them in their conversations. She actually quite liked him, even if she’d never admit it to his face.

Strolling over to the computer, Alex pulled up the results from the lab work she had run on their Jane Doe. “Well, as was expected, I found plenty of alcohol still in her system, but I also found Rohypnol.”

“The date rape drug.” Maggie gritted her teeth together, trying to mentally prepare herself for what would surely be a trying case to work. Though if they could get the bastard in jail, it would make her feel a little better.

“Correct. But there’s no evidence of her having undergone any sort of trauma or assault outside of her upper body.”

Maggie nodded, trying to push down the queasy feeling at the sight of the bruises and lacerations that littered Jane Doe’s torso. “But she definitely had Rohypnol in her system?” she confirmed, being careful not to suggest that the victim “had been roofied,” lest Alex correct her again on the importance of not jumping to conclusions without further evidence.

“Yes, and a significant amount of it. Of course, the drug has other uses. She didn’t have any other drugs in her system, so I don’t think she chose to ingest it,” she added, thinking back to the case they had worked a month or two back when a group of men had all wound up dead in a warehouse from lethal amounts of alcohol, cocaine, and Rohypnol. “But the drug would certainly make a target less aware of their surroundings and easy to abduct or kill if that were the goal.”

Maggie nodded, her mind drifting to all of the grim possibilities that could have led this poor girl to the alleyway last night. “Do we have a cause of death?”

“Not yet. That’s what I was investigating when you came down here.”

As much as Maggie wanted to press Alex to work harder, faster, trying to get some belated sense of justice for their victim, she also knew the NCPD ME, knew that she was likely to have skipped lunch and would probably push herself straight through dinner, especially if she felt like the case mattered to Maggie beyond a professional level. So instead she nodded in understanding. “I’m going to meet James down at the bars in an hour to see if any of them recognize her or remember anything. Do you want to grab lunch with me first?”

“I should really stay down here. I’ve got Lena running her photos and dental records through databases to try to get an ID, since nothing popped up with her prints. And you need to know the cause of death to get anywhere.”

“Yeah, but Lena’s stuff is going to keep running through databases while you’re gone. Plus, I already saw her take a break to eat lunch with Kara, so you’re just doing what everyone else does.”

Alex didn’t mention that she felt like she needed to be better than everyone, to prove to her mother that her work at NCPD was as meaningful as the lab work she had begun during her PhD training before she had switched over to med school, that it wasn’t her fault that Kara had joined the force and taken on a job that put her in the line of fire day in and day out. “I guess. But it has to be a short lunch.”

“Deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

Alex settled into the booth, rolling her shoulders to try to relieve the tension that had built up from hours of bending over the autopsy table.

“You alright?” Maggie asked, biting her tongue to keep from offering Alex a massage. She’d done it once before during a movie night at Alex’s place, and it was perhaps the worst decision she’d ever made. Having to listen to the contented noises that had escaped from Alex’s mouth while her hands were working at the admittedly very knotted muscles in her shoulders had been pure torture.

“Eh, fine. Part of the job, that’s all.” 

“And here I thought it was those of us out in the field that did all the damage to our bodies,” Maggie teased.

“Which is precisely why my mother won’t stop texting about darling Kara.” It wasn’t that Alex didn’t love Kara and want to keep her safe—of course she did—but she also understood that her little sister was an adult now and, from what she had heard around the station, had become a damn good cop. Even with only a year of experience under her belt, she had already earned a reputation as one of the bravest recruits they’d gotten from the academy in years, though she managed to maintain a sense of compassion in all that she did. Unlike some of the more jaded (and often bigoted) cops who had been on the force for decades, Kara hadn’t come to see everyone as a possible criminal, and for the most part, she didn’t even treat the convicted criminals like criminals; she recognized that they were people too, many of whom had desperately needed help they never received. Of course, certain cases tried the limits of her empathy, and she found her hard limits when they rotated her to SVU for a month that couldn’t end soon enough, but those were the nights when she took solace in the company of her friends, her sister, her girlfriend, and a pint of ice cream.

“How are things going with Eliza?” Maggie asked, noting the way Alex had gotten lost in thought at the mention of her mother.

“Eh, same as usual. I mean, I know that she loves me, but she’s just got a…quirky way of showing it.” Knowing all that had happened with Maggie’s parents, Alex never wanted to dwell on her own less-than-perfect relationship with her mother. Of course, Maggie had never made her feel guilty for wanting a better relationship with the woman, but she still didn’t want to dredge up bad memories, especially during the workday. Forcing a smile and changing the topic, Alex nudged Maggie's hand on the table. “You excited to spend your afternoon in the bars?” 

“Without a beer in hand? Not even a little.” Maggie chuckled. The bartenders and bouncers would probably be fine, but dealing with the customers who were already drunk in the early afternoon was never enjoyable.

“What can I get you ladies?” Megan asked with a smile, glad to see two of her favorite customers back at The Dirty Robber.

“What are you waiting tables for?” Maggie teased. “You own the damn place, don’t ya?”

“And sacrifice the opportunity to see my favorite NCPD duo? Not a chance, Maggie.”

Ducking her head at the compliment, Alex held out her menu. “Could I get my usual?”

“Of course.” It had been years since Megan had purchased the restaurant and changed the menu to feature primarily local, organic ingredients with plenty of vegan and vegetarian options, but she didn’t have the heart to stop offering Alex’s favorite artery-clogging cheeseburgers. During the one week she had tried, Brian, one of her fry cooks, secretly slipped in some ground beef and thickly sliced cheddar to cook Alex her usual anyway, so Megan eventually caved and put it back on their “bar menu,” which only Alex Danvers was allowed to order from no matter what time of day it was or where she was sitting.

“And could I get the tomato basil melt?” 

“Of course. They’ll be up soon enough.”

Over lunch, Alex and Maggie let the conversation slide away from work into more pleasant topics.

“Got any fun plans for the weekend?” Alex asked. “Hot dates lined up around the corner for you?” she teased, though there was a seriousness to her question as well. It seemed like Maggie managed to find an endless supply of beautiful women to date, even if the relationships rarely lasted longer than a month or two, as though there were something holding her back. Alex, on the other hand, had basically given up on dating. When she went out to the bars, she still got hit on, but no one seemed to do anything for her; there were no sparks or butterflies or any of the things Kara talked about feeling when she first met Lena while visiting Alex at work one day. Besides, she was basically in a healthy adult relationship with Maggie, save for, well, one part—and she had battery-operated devices to take care of those needs.

“No dates, sorry to disappoint,” Maggie joked. “But it is Pride this weekend, so who knows? Maybe I’ll get lucky.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex laughed. “I’m sure you will, Mags.” She didn’t want to dwell on why she felt almost hurt by the idea that Maggie would inevitably find some new woman at the parade. It was probably the fact that she lost some time with her best friend whenever she fell into a new relationship, though Maggie made a point to keep at least a night or two per week free for Alex.

Maggie’s heart clenched at the nickname that might have bothered her coming from anyone other than Alex, but sounded endearing falling from the doctor's lips. Before her brain could catch up with her mouth, she blurted out, “Do you wanna come?”

“To Pride?”

“Yeah.” Maggie stretched out the word as she nodded, figuring now she needed to follow through. “It’s fun. Something different.”

“I mean, I’m not, you know, I’m not gay.”

“Right.” Maggie forced herself to nod. “I mean, allies come too. I guess I’m assuming that you’re an ally.”

“Of course!” Alex agreed enthusiastically. Stumbling over her words in her haste to alleviate any worries, she managed to get out, “I, yeah, I support the cause, it’s just not, um, my cause.”

Maggie refrained from rolling her eyes. Alex was her best friend; there was no reason to get defensive—or, her brain added, to get suspicious about just _how_ defensive Alex seemed to have gotten. There were no signs that Alex was gay…other than her fashion sense and her haircut and the way she couldn’t make it work with men and didn’t seem to have any desire to do so, but that was all. Well, all that Maggie would dwell on for now.

“Well, anyway, if you want to come, just let me know. But I get it if you don’t want to.” Trying to give Alex an out, she added, “I know some allies treat Pride as time when the LGBTQ community can take priority, when they don’t need to invade the space, and I obviously respect—and appreciate—that decision too. Not that I think you’d try to invade or be really ostentatious or, never mind, I’m rambling.” Maggie felt her cheeks warming with embarrassment. She was never the one blushing and stumbling over her words, yet somehow she had trouble keeping it together when Alex was involved.

“I’ll let you know.” Alex played with the straw in her glass, figuring Maggie had probably invited her without thinking and didn’t actually want her to tag along. “And maybe I’ll go with Kara and Lena—wouldn’t want to cramp your style, going solo and all.”

Maggie didn’t add that she wouldn’t mind Alex’s company, although she suspected she’d be a bit more jealous than was healthy watching woman after woman come in and hit on Alex. “Text me if you go. We could always grab lunch after or something.”

“I will.”

A few minutes later, Alex’s work phone chimed with a text from Lena. “We’ve got an ID on our Jane Doe,” Alex told Maggie, scrolling through Lena’s message. “Name is Karen Mitchell. She was a grad student at NCU. Her roommate tried to report her as missing when she didn’t come home last night and didn’t answer her phone all morning. Lena pulled her records, and facial identification software matched them, even with the bruising and swelling on the body”

Maggie took a deep breath, readying herself for the swirl of emotions that always came with a new case, especially when the victims were so young. “Good to have a name. Can you send me the photo Lena used to take to the bars?”

“Sent. I assume you’ve got to go now?”

“Yeah, I should get over there and get this photo around as soon as possible. Can you ask Kara to head up to NCU to talk to the roommate, get information about Karen—places she hung out, friends, disgruntled exes, whatever. She can call James and me with questions, but I want to get out there right away.”

“Will do.” Waving away Maggie’s attempts at getting her wallet out, Alex shook her head. “This one’s on me. You can get lunch after Pride.”

“So you’re coming?”

“Eh, why not? I hear it’s fun. But really, I can always go with Kara and them! I’m serious about not keeping you from having a good time.”

Maggie simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak, lest she blurt out something about everything being more fun when she was with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this rather long chapter is (sadly) not Pride; it's all about the actual case they're working. We get to see a lot more of Kara and some of James, Winn, and Lena at work.  
> Warning for discussions of violence, possible hate crimes, sexism, homophobia, etc. If you don't want to read this chapter, you won't miss too much of the Sanvers slow burn.

After lunch, Alex called Kara, relaying Maggie’s message, then she headed back into her lab, intent on figuring out the cause of death as soon as possible. After a few more tests, she was able to confirm her initial suspicion (not that she’d ever admit to Maggie that had those; otherwise she’d never escape questions about what her suspicions were hours before the questions about the conclusions began). She pulled out her phone and texted Maggie: “Cause of death: blunt force trauma. She was struck at the base of the skull by something about three inches in width and long enough to cover the length of her skull. So far no evidence of any remnants left in the wound or her hair,” she added, anticipating Maggie’s next question.

“Thanks,” Maggie replied, quickly adding: “And the other wounds? Post-mortem?” She grimaced at the idea of someone continuing to beat the victim after she was already dead.

“Only one contusion looks like it may have been post-mortem. The others all occurred before she died, based on swelling and the amount of bleeding.”

“Got it.” Maggie pulled up her texts with Kara, quickly sending: “Check records of her classmates, friends, partners, exes—anyone with a grudge, history of violence, arrest record. We’re looking for someone who would beat her to death.” With a heavy swallow, she made her way back up to the bar where her partner James was talking with the bartender.

“He doesn’t recognize her,” James informed Maggie, sighing at the third dead end they’d hit already.

“On to the next one,” Maggie sighed, waving to the bartender and thanking him for his time.

\---

Across town, Kara knocked on the door of Karen’s apartment.

“Hello?” A young woman poked her head out from behind the chainlock.

“Hi, um, Xinlan? It’s Officer Danvers. We spoke on the phone earlier this afternoon.”

“Oh, right, yes!” Xinlan swung open the door. “Sorry, I’ve just been a little…scared, since getting the news.”

Kara nodded sympathetically, noting the red rings around Xinlan’s eyes and the pink tinge to her nose. “I’m very sorry for your loss. We will do everything we can to make sure that whoever did this is brought to justice.”

“I mean, we weren’t that close yet. She had just moved in a couple months ago after she had a falling out with her old roommate. And we were both busy with classes and work.”

“Do you know what her old roommate’s name is?” Kara asked, pulling out her pen and notebook.

“Uh, yeah. Do you think he could have done it?”

“I don’t know,” Kara admitted. “But it’s important to follow up on all possible leads.”

“Right, yeah. He’s Ryan. I don’t remember his last name, but he’s in the same program as Karen is—was,” Xinlan corrected, her lip trembling slightly.

“And what program was that?”

“Oh, sorry. She’s getting a PhD in Political Science.”

Kara nodded, scribbling notes as they talked. “I know that you didn’t know her too well, but do you know if she had many friends? Was she dating anyone?”

“Uh, I don’t know much. I’m doing my grad work in biology now, so I’m in the lab a lot of nights, and sometimes I even sleep down there. There were a few girls that would come over to the apartment to hang out, but they all seemed nice. I could probably pick them out on her Facebook; I think they had photos together.”

Kara nodded, waiting as Xinlan unlocked her computer and pulled up the photos, reading out names for Kara to copy down.

They talked for a little while longer, and Kara made a point of recommending to Xinlan that she reach out to someone to talk about what she was going through, even if she felt like she didn’t need it or wasn’t close enough to Karen to be affected by it. “It’s always good to talk. I know it helps me after hard cases.” Kara tried to sound nonchalant, hoping that Xinlan would take her advice. “I really appreciate your help. If you think of anything more, please give me a call,” Kara added, handing over one of her business cards.

“I will. Thanks for your work on the case.”

“Of course.”

\---

When Kara got back to the precinct, she settled in at her desk, pulling up the names she had gotten to check if they had records or anything odd posted online. First she went about finding Ryan’s last name, which was easy enough, given the department website’s list of their current students. She went ahead and printed the whole list, figuring she might need them all at some point.

When she searched online for Ryan Jacobi, though, she didn’t get much outside of a published journal article or two, a very private Facebook page, and a Twitter account that hadn’t been used since 2011. She figured she’d look to the list of friends Xinlan had given her, hoping that some of them might have information about Karen and Ryan’s falling out.

She managed to find an office phone number for the third name on her list—Melanie Kramer, a 5th year in Karen’s program—and called her.

On the third ring, Melanie answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Melanie Kramer?”

“Uh, Mel, but yes. Who is this?”

“My name is Officer Kara Danvers. I’m with the NCPD. I wanted to see if you might have time to talk about one of the students in your program.”

“Is this about Karen?” Mel asked, her voice wavering and cracking even as she pushed through to the end of the sentence.

“Yes,” Kara confirmed, wondering at how quickly the news had spread. It was only a couple of hours ago that one of the unlucky officers had been told to call her parents, who must have called the university at some point. Kara wondered if the news had already hit social media.

“Right, um, yeah, I can try to help. Whatever you need. For Karen,” Mel added, clearly trying not to break down in tears.

“I can come to you, but it would be better if you could come down to the station.”

“I’ll come down to you. It’s not like I’ve been able to do any work since I heard the news.”

“Thank you for your time. Just ask for me at the front desk.”

Half an hour later, Kara got a call that a woman was at the front desk asking for her.

“Ms. Kramer,” she greeted, extending a hand to the woman. At first glance, she looked professional and perfectly put together, but a closer look revealed the cracks in the façade—the red-rimmed, glassy eyes; the way her short hair was sticking up at odd angles as though she had been running her hands through it incessantly since hearing; the slight tremble to her hands that forced her to stuff them in her pockets as she tried to look strong.

“Mel is fine,” the woman managed, nodding as Kara gestured for her to head back to one of the rooms—the room reserved for family and friends, stocked with tissues, water bottles, and snacks.

“Can I get you anything?” Kara asked, wishing she could take the woman’s pain away somehow.

“No, no, I’m okay. Thank you.”

“Let me start by saying again how sorry I am for your loss. I really appreciate your coming down to the station to talk to me as we try to find out who did this to your friend.”

“Girlfriend,” Mel interjected.

“Hmm?”

“Karen wasn’t just a friend, Officer. She was my girlfriend.”

A wave of emotions crashed over Kara as Lena’s face suddenly replaced the young woman’s in her mind. “Right, right, I’m so sorry. I, I, um, is there anything I can get for you? Really, anything.”

“No. I’d just like to get through this if that’s alright with you,” Mel said, gritting her teeth as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Of course.” Pulling out her notebook, Kara hurried into her questions, wanting more than anything to let the woman go home and process her grief. “Can you think of anyone who might have had something against Karen?”

Mel shrugged, shaking her head. “She was so well liked in our program. Her students, her peers, her advisors, they all adored her. Why wouldn’t they? I mean, she was brilliant and funny and sweet.” She paused to wipe away the tears that had begun flowing freely. “I don’t know who would have done this to her.”

Kara gritted her teeth, remembering that she was trained for this, that her job mattered because she might be able to lock up whoever had done this to Karen. “Karen’s roommate mentioned a falling out with another student in your program—Ryan Jacobi. She said Karen had been living with him until recently, that something had happened. Do you know what it was?”

Mel’s lip curled up in obvious distaste. “When he found out that Karen and I were dating, he started pressuring her. At first it seemed teasing, though she didn’t care for it, but it kept going. He would ask her to leave me for him or to let him watch or even join us in bed. She said no, but it wasn’t until she finally made it clear that he was not to ask again that he got angry. Started yelling at her and threatening to out her to everyone at the university. She got scared and moved in with my roommate and me for a week or two until she could find a new place.”

“Were these threats to her life? Do you know if she ever reported them?”

“I think she mentioned it to one of the faculty members, trying to see if she could keep him out of her classes, but she didn’t want to go through reporting it and dealing with what she assumed would be even worse backlash from Ryan in response.”

“And the threats?”

“I don’t think they were physical, or at least, not many of them. It seemed to be more about making her feel guilty for not wanting him. But then again, I don’t know what people are capable of. I don’t want to say he’s innocent without proof. I certainly can’t stand him, and he definitely made Karen uncomfortable.”

“Thank you,” Kara nodded. She went through a couple more questions before wrapping up the meeting and sending Mel on her way with another apology and a promise to track down any and all leads to find out what had happened to her girlfriend.

Even though it was after 5 already, when Kara returned to her desk, she found Maggie and James both in the room working steadily as well.

“Find anything, little Danvers?” Maggie asked, looking up from her own computer.

“I just spoke with Karen’s girlfriend, Mel. She gave me the full story on Ryan Jacobi—doesn’t necessarily think he would have killed her, but he threatened her about her sexuality for turning him down. I think he’s a lead worth pursuing.”

“There’s the motive. Let’s bring him in first thing tomorrow morning for questioning and see if we don’t discover means and opportunity,” Maggie nodded, trying not to let emotion seep into her voice at the thought that Karen’s murder might have been a hate crime as well.

“He has scheduled office hours every Thursday morning from 9-11am. Should we show up before they start to bring him in before his students arrive?”

Maggie nodded. “James, do you mind going with Kara? I have a lead from one of the bars to follow up with tomorrow. A waitress at one of the bars where Karen was apparently a regular told me to come back, since the bartender who had been on duty the night of the murder wasn’t in today.”

“Will do,” James nodded, smiling at Kara.

\---

Kara growled from behind the two-way glass as she watched James interrogate the frustratingly smug man sitting in front of him. With every question James asked, he deferred to his lawyer, who almost always told him not to answer, since he hadn’t been formally arrested yet.

“If you don’t want to be formally arrested, you’ll at least tell us where you were on Tuesday night between the hours of midnight and 2am.”

Smirking, Ryan finally spoke up: “I was at home in bed.”

“And do you have anyone who can confirm that?”

“I do, in fact,” he grinned. “See, my new roommate is a much better addition to my life, and she can tell you exactly what I was doing all Tuesday night.”

Kara gagged at the image, waiting for James to come back in with the information so they could verify his whereabouts.

\---

Unfortunately his alibi checked out with the new roommate, and the video cameras outside the building confirmed that he had entered the building at 10pm and not emerged again until 9 the next morning. Seeing just how angry Kara was, James offered to be the one to release Ryan. As much as he detested the man, he couldn’t keep him for being a homophobic asshole.

Maggie, at least, came back from the bar energized. “I don’t have a name, but I have someone who was bothering Karen in the bar Tuesday night!” she announced, glad to have some progress after hearing that Ryan had fallen through as a lead.

“Any info to go on?” James asked, desperate for something to break open the case.

“Apparently he kept talking to her about her work, some articles she had been writing, or maybe it was on Twitter. He got rather belligerent, yelling and such. So I think the first step is to go talk to Karen’s professors, see if they knew of anyone who really didn’t like the work she was doing.”

“Would someone kill over an academic journal article?” Kara asked incredulously.

“I don’t know, but I guess people have killed over even smaller stuff,” Maggie shrugged.

They divided up the faculty members to interview, deciding that after lunch they would head to NCU together.

\---

“Doctor Danvers!” Maggie called from the doorway of Alex’s office, finding the redhead immersed in an article on her desk.

“Hmm?” Alex looked up, smiling when she saw that it was Maggie. “How’s the case going?”

“Eh,” Maggie shrugged, “could be better. What are you up to?”

“Oh, I’m taking lunch…so this isn’t really work related.”

“Reading something embarrassing, Danvers?” Maggie teased.

“No…no. It’s just an article from a really cutting-edge biologist whose been working with some advanced technology to create better, more responsive prosthetics for amputees. I heard an early version of the paper at a conference last year, but a longer form version is finally out in print.”

“Nerd,” Maggie laughed. “But wait, that’s a good thing. You know about the whole academic lifestyle!”

“Um, not that much. I dropped out of my PhD program, and it’s not like I teach, other than a few lectures a year at NCU.”

“But you were in it for some amount of time, which is more than James, Kara, and I can say. Karen, our victim, she was being harassed in the bars about her work or her posts. I don’t know that it would be enough to incite someone to beat her to death, but the bartender said the guy bothering her did get rather angry. We’re going to talk to her professors, but can you think of other places where he might have first met her?”

“I mean, academics can be plenty snarky in their articles. Has anyone written a response to or a critique of something she’s published? Though, I don’t know that you’d really go looking for a bar fight if you’re already having a professional dispute. You often find an asshole or two at conferences, you know the type, the guy who stands up and says he has a question, but turns it into a monologue about his own opinion, ignoring everything you just said.”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Eh, a little bit, yeah. Again, I don’t know that these people would be murderers, but I guess anyone can be,” Alex shrugged, feeling a shiver run up her spine at the thought of how vulnerable everyone really was.

“Well, I’ll let you know if we hear anything from the professors.”

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Alex admitted, knowing Maggie certainly didn’t report to her or anything.

“You’re my best friend; of course I’m going to keep you updated,” Maggie replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you want to do a movie night? I could really use some downtime. And some Alex time,” she added, hoping she didn’t sound needy.

“I’d love to, but I’ve actually got friends showing up today. They’re in town for Pride, and they’re spending the first night here at my place.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Maggie scoffed, shaking her head. “Wouldn’t want to assume I’m your only friend! So…who’s coming?”

“Lucy and her girlfriend Susan. Lucy and I met during undergrad when we lived together. I hated her at first, but eventually we grew on each other. She was ROTC, waking up every morning at 5am sharp, and I went through a bit of a…party girl phase, as you know, so the blaring alarms made me want to pull my hair out. And I don’t think she appreciated my crashing through our front door at all hours of the night and sometimes stumbling into her bed before I made it to my own.” She could laugh about it now, though it had taken her a few years to get over the shame at having been such a failure, at least she thought so.

Maggie ignored the surge of jealousy at the idea of Alex getting into another woman’s bed—another queer woman’s bed. “Ah, well, I hope they enjoy Pride.”

“Yeah! You’ll get to meet them, of course, since I’ll see you at or after the parade.”

“Right,” Maggie nodded, very much looking forward to having a day away from the case, though she sincerely hoped that they would at least have someone in custody by then.

\---

The afternoon passed in a blur of increasingly ridiculous interviews. Maggie didn’t want to call the professors out of touch, especially when so many of them had looked truly devastated about Karen’s murder, but she also couldn’t fathom how they seemed to misunderstand their questions to such a degree. They had all been presented with the same questions about someone who might have targeted Karen over her academic work, but none of the answers she, Kara, or James had received thus far seemed even close to a compelling motive, though she resolved to at least run them by Alex.

She looked through her notes at the different possibilities they had all gotten:

“She often dismissed purely quantitative analysis as irresponsible.”

“I believe she was listed as a first author on a paper where she might have properly been the second author.”

“She was in charge of last year’s graduate student conference, which meant she sent out the decisions about accepting or rejecting paper proposals.”

“She did receive a few critical reviews on her latest journal article. Ended up with a revise and resubmit.”

“She was the first to publish on a particularly juicy data set that I think we all had our eyes on!”

Maggie took a deep breath before walking into her last interview. She didn’t have high hopes, but at least this woman was Karen’s primary advisor, so maybe she had some better ideas. As it turned out, she did, talking about the social media presence Karen had built around the election and how critical she had been of the now president during the primaries, then the election cycle, and even once he took office.

“She’s gotten a lot of anonymous hate that’s more often than not very violent, including plenty of threats of sexual violence against her,” the professor told Maggie. She looked up, tears swimming in her eyes. “I told her I thought we all had a professional responsibility to keep at it, to resist in whatever ways we could. Do you think, do you think I’m responsible for this? Am I the reason she was killed?”

Even though Maggie had no way of knowing, she shook her head. It wasn’t her place to put guilt on a woman for something she herself had said plenty of times too. “Do you have the names of anyone who was a repeat offender? The more violent threats, perhaps?”

The professor nodded and forwarded a few emails from Karen that had included screenshots of the threats she received. Maggie forwarded them straight to Lena and Winn, hoping they’d be able to track down something related to the usernames or email addresses.

\---

A few hours later, while Maggie sat with a two slices of cold pizza, trying to read through all of the posts Karen had made on social media over the past few months, Winn came bouncing up to her.

“We found something!”

“Oh really?” Maggie asked, arching an eyebrow at the rather excitable new scientist.

“Yes, I promise it isn’t embarrassing pictures of Kara this time,” Winn answered, having the wherewithal to look chagrined for the last time he had made a big deal about something non-work-related during an ongoing investigation.

Nodding in approval, Maggie followed Winn down to the Forensic Science lab, popping her head into Alex’s office on her way to make sure the woman wasn’t staying late and missing her own guests to try to work on the case.

“Well, it took a lot of work, but I found two of the most frequent commenters! Well, I found seven of them, but one is a woman, which wouldn’t match the bartender’s description, and four of the others live across country and have been active with IP addresses on the East Coast during the time of the murder.”

“Alright, hit me.”

“Right, well, here they are,” Winn said, pulling up two profiles on the large screen mounted on the wall. Maggie soon found herself looking into the faces of two scowling white men, one of whom had quite the rap sheet already.

“Well done. Can you print me out their information?”

“Already taken care of,” Winn smiled, eager to impress the detective. “I included a few extra color copies of their headshots for you to take to the bartenders. If that’s something you want to do, of course!” he rushed to add.

“You did good, kid, don’t worry so much.”

“Right, okay, yeah,” Winn preened at the compliments.

\---

The next morning, after a confirmation the night before from the bartender that the one with the rap sheet had been harassing Karen on the night of her murder and having successfully obtained a warrant for Jesse O’Reilly’s arrest and for a search of his residence for the murder weapon, Maggie and James pulled up in front of the suspect’s apartment building with backup right behind them.

“Open up! NCPD!” Maggie yelled, as she and James took their positions around the door, two other agents positioned behind them.

\---

Many hours later, having recovered a baseball bat that matched the approximate size of the murder weapon from Jesse’s apartment, Maggie collapsed into her chair. Jesse was in custody; Alex had the bat to test it for any of Karen’s DNA; and Winn and Lena were going through the computer they had confiscated to look for proof of additional threats or any plans to suggest that the crime was premeditated. Now all Maggie could do was wait as her Friday afternoon turned into Friday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...Pride got way out of hand length-wise. Here's most of it anyway. Hope it lives up to expectations!

By the time Maggie and Alex left the precinct, it was nearing midnight. Of course, the time spent had been well worth it, as Lena had uncovered a trove of threatening and violent messages sent not only to Karen, but also to many other women online, and Alex had been able to match a small chip of paint that had been left on the victim’s body to the brand name painted on Jesse’s bat, giving him means, motive, and opportunity—enough to lock him up until a bail hearing could be scheduled.

“Do you want to crash at my place?” Alex asked, knowing that even though Maggie had been able to get a suspect in custody, her nerves would probably still be frayed.

“Uhm, any chance we could do my place? I’ll want to grab my stuff for Pride tomorrow, and your apartment is on the way to the parade for you to get whatever you need.”

“You mean I shouldn’t wear my suit to the parade?” Alex teased, following Maggie over to her car.

“You could go full power dyke aesthetic,” Maggie laughed, not bothering to add how much it would also be her type, having never quite gotten over her crush on Bette since her first viewing of The L Word.

“Now you’re gonna have to explain all the categories to me. Winn already gave me the full rundown of the bears and cubs and otters and stuff. Do lesbians get sorted into different kinds of animals too?”

Maggie bit back a laugh and shook her head, “No, there are some labels, though they’re not nearly as intense as in the gay community. We’ll go over your lesbian education after the parade. Speaking of, how was your night with your friend and her girlfriend?”

“Oh, they’re great!” Alex exclaimed as she climbed into Maggie’s car, tossing her bag into the backseat. As Maggie began driving them home, she told her all about their dinner and the stories she’d gotten to hear from Lucy and Susan, who apparently went by Vasquez most of the time.

“How’d they meet?” Maggie asked, secretly wondering about how Alex had so many queer friends.

“Vasquez was one of the instructors at the police academy while Kara was there. Kara, being the living embodiment of sunshine that she is, actually managed to get Vasquez to smile during training, and once she had graduated from the academy, she became friends with her. Kara invited her to my housewarming party, she met Lucy, and the rest is history, I guess.”

“Aww, that’s sort of cute.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what about you? Got any friends coming to Pride?”

“A few, though most of them are marching in the parade this year, so they’ll be pretty busy. A lot of my friends are still in Gotham, so I try to make it out to their Pride on the years when it doesn’t overlap with National City’s.”

“That’s fun.” Alex's smile gave way as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. “Now…what do I wear?”

Maggie shrugged as she parked the car. “Whatever you want. It’s supposed to be pretty warm, but otherwise it’s your call.”

“Okay.” Alex didn’t quite know why she was so nervous about doing something wrong tomorrow, but she definitely didn’t want Maggie to think she had made a mistake by inviting her.

As they strolled into Maggie’s apartment, Alex flung herself down on the bed. “Oh, flat surfaces, my old friend!”

Chuckling, Maggie shook her head at Alex’s antics and moved to grab them both some old t-shirts and boxer shorts to sleep in. “Since you’ve claimed the whole bed, want me to take the sofa?” Maggie offered.

“Excuse me. Half the fun of a sleepover is getting to cuddle and fall asleep watching shitty television. Get your butt in here!”

Swallowing the excitement that bubbled up in her chest at hearing Alex say that she liked cuddling with her, Maggie nodded, pulling on her pajamas and climbing in next to Alex, studiously avoiding looking at her as she changed clothes.

“So, what do we watch tonight?” Alex asked, pulling Maggie closer to her and dropping her head to the detective’s shoulder. For the first time all day she finally felt like she was able to relax.

“Just go look under recently watched and pick something,” Maggie yawned. Despite how wound up as she had been all day, she could already feel herself crashing now that Alex’s warm arms were wrapped around her.

After a few minutes, Alex had on an old episode of The Great British Bake Off.

“Night, Al,” Maggie whispered, pulling the covers up to her chin and rolling onto her side to face Alex.

“Night, Mags,” Alex whispered back, feeling her heart warm at the sight of her best friend finally letting go of some of the stress of the day.

\----

The next morning, Maggie was shocked to realize they had both managed to sleep until 9. Of course, having been at work until almost midnight helped, but still, her body normally forced her out of bed by 7 most days.

“Morning,” she yawned, seeing Alex begin to stir.

“Not yet,” Alex grumbled, wrapping her arms around Maggie’s neck and pulling her back down into the bed to continue snuggling.

Maggie tried not to read too much into anything. Alex was straight. She repeated it to herself like a mantra. Best friends cuddled. Sure, the neck thing felt more couple-y than usual, like she was about to pull Maggie down into a kiss, but it wasn’t totally out of the ordinary. She couldn’t help but feel that somehow their relationship had shifted slightly since her last breakup. Alex hadn’t hidden her dislike of Rachel, but it was more than that; the way she talked about her feelings sounded almost…jealous, as though she were feeling possessive over Maggie in a way she really hadn’t with past girlfriends. Maggie wondered if it was because this relationship had lasted longer than any since Emily, who Alex had never met, or because Rachel had also seemed inordinately jealous about how close Maggie and Alex were, despite Maggie’s reassurances that Alex was her very straight best friend.

After a few more minutes, Maggie grew impatient. Too aware of the way their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together, Maggie couldn’t relax. “Alex,” she whined. “Get up! We need a big breakfast before the parade.”

“Fine,” Alex huffed, “but you’re cooking.”

“When do I not?”

“Uhm, I double toast your gross dry bagels for you.”

“Yeah…that’s not cooking.”

“No, it’s burning. But that’s what you’ve requested,” Alex teased, finally releasing Maggie as she stretched her arms above her head. “You excited for today?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s always fun.”

“Hey, c’mon, am I making this less exciting for you? Do you want me to do a better job of hyping it up?”

Maggie chuckled, pulling herself out of bed. “No, no. You’re good. I think I’m just a little sleepy. Coffee and food will work their wonders soon enough.” As she padded around the kitchen gathering ingredients, Maggie tried to shake herself out of the weird mood. Going out and being around tons of other LGBTQ folks always made her feel better, and she didn’t see any reason for today to be an exception. Plus, Alex was probably right; she would likely meet someone. It didn’t matter that she wouldn’t be Alex; Alex wasn’t an option.

As soon as Maggie left the room, Alex flopped back down on the bed, excited to enjoy a few more minutes of dozing before she really needed to get up. She found herself migrating to Maggie’s side of the bed and nuzzling into the other woman’s pillow, which smelled like Maggie’s shampoo—sort of citrusy, but not overwhelmingly so. The thought made her smile as she drifted back to sleep.

Rolling her eyes at the sight of Alex asleep again, Maggie called out: “Wake up! I come bearing pancakes.”

“Fine,” Alex sighed, forcing her eyes open.

“And how did you end up on my side of the bed?”

“It’s nicer; it smells like you,” Alex answered, too sleepy to think before speaking.

Blushing faintly, Maggie tried to ignore the voice in her head screaming that friends didn’t care about how their friends smelled, and they definitely didn’t choose where they slept based on it. “Right, well, scoot over. We can eat in bed.”

Once they finished eating and Alex had loaded the dishwasher, she came back to find Maggie pulling on the most colorful outfit she’d ever seen the detective wear.

“That shirt is…pink,” Alex laughed.

“It’s the one day a year when you’ll find me in color, so enjoy it while it lasts,” Maggie replied, winking.

“The, uh, those shorts, they’ll probably help…with the ladies, ya know?” Alex stumbled over her words as she noticed Maggie’s black spandex running shorts that were highlighting all of her curves. Of course, Alex was allowed to notice this; magazines told her to notice these things. She certainly shouldn’t feel weird about the way the image made her heart race slightly.

Maggie laughed, trying not to notice the way Alex’s eyes had lingered on her backside. “We’ll see.” She threw on a pair of white converse she had painted rainbow with a group of her friends in Gotham before their first Pride parade. Since she only wore them for a handful of events a year, they were basically good as new. She laughed at the sight of the glitter still stuck on the laces from last year, wondering at just how much of the stuff she’d drag home this year.

Grabbing her phone, keys, sunglasses, and wallet, Maggie made for the door. “Alright, you ready to go?”

“Yeah, sure,” Alex nodded, following Maggie and hoping that no one would see her leaving in her pajamas with her work clothes in a bag. They spent most of their time at Alex’s place, since it was larger and closer to the precinct, so Alex had never worried about keeping a set of clothes at Maggie’s place, whereas the detective had more than a few outfits in her closet.

\---

After a bit of fretting, Alex was finally ready to go. Like Maggie, she didn’t have much color in her regular wardrobe, save for some maroons and blues, but she found a pair of blue shorts that she paired with a white tank top with a rainbow on it that Kara had left at her place one night. With a thorough application of sunscreen, she was set.

“Alright,” Maggie explained, “we’re going to park at the station and walk the five blocks over, since they close down most of the roads around the parade.”

“Got it,” Alex nodded. “Kara and Lena are on their way with Lucy and Vasquez, so you can also ditch me whenever, you know?”

“Alex, seriously, I don’t mind hanging out with my best friend at the parade.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Maggie reassured her.

“Okay, well, would you want to hang out with the whole gang?”

“Yeah, that works. It’s actually better if you have a big group; you can’t get pushed out of your spot as easily.”

“Oh, yeah, I doubt that Lucy would let that happen anyway,” Alex laughed.

“Then I think Lucy and I are going to get along fabulously.”

\---

“Kara!” Alex called out, spotting her sister’s blonde ponytail in the crowd.

“Alex! Yay, we found you!” Kara exclaimed, wrapping her sister in a tight hug. “I see you also found my shirt,” she laughed. Noticing Maggie, she waved to her as well. “Hey, Maggie! Love the shoes!”

“Why thank you! Love the glitter.”

Kara blushed slightly, wondering if she had overdone it a bit. She meant to just dust her cheeks with it, but then she’d gotten some on her upper arms, so she figured both arms needed to match, and before long basically her whole body was covered in glitter.

“Maggie, this is Lucy Lane, and this is Susan Vasquez,” Alex introduced, gesturing between her friends.

“Nice to meet you,” Maggie said, extending her hand.

“You too,” Vasquez added, returning the handshake. She couldn’t help but notice how cute Maggie was, thinking of all the single friends she had who would kill to be set up with a woman like her.

Lucy was a bit preoccupied scouting out locations for their group. Once she spotted one, she was up and pulling everyone with her. It was survival of the fittest out there, and Lucy Lane was not one to sit back.

Once they had gotten settled in, Lucy finally turned around and properly introduced herself to Maggie, while Alex caught up with Kara and Lena.

“Dykes on Bikes!” Vasquez called out, hearing the distant rumble of engines drawing closer.

“Who?” Alex asked, but Maggie just gestured as a huge line of women drove by on very nice motorcycles—so nice, in fact, that it took Alex almost a full three seconds to notice that wrapped around the drivers were shirtless women waving rainbow flags. She didn’t think she had seen that many boobs…ever. Before she could ask whether it was even legal to be topless, Maggie, Lucy, and Vasquez’s loud cheering was drowning out all coherent thought. She didn’t think she had ever seen Maggie or Vasquez look quite so gleeful.

It wasn’t until they had passed that Maggie turned around, eyes sparkling in delight, to explain: “Dykes on Bikes start the parade every year. They’re pretty amazing, huh?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah that was something. So do they, uh, audition? Or do you just have to own a motorcycle?”

“It’s a group, but anyone with a bike can join,” Vasquez chimed in, having once considered it herself.

“Why don’t you do it?” Alex asked, looking at Maggie. She knew the woman adored her motorcycle; it was one of the first things they had bonded over during Maggie’s early weeks at NCPD.

Blushing slightly, Maggie shrugged. “Not like I’ve got someone to ride on the back.”

“Please,” Alex scoffed, nudging Maggie, “you know women would line up around the block for you.” She tried not to think about that image, but found it rather stuck with her, turning her cheeks and chest a faint pink.

Vasquez watched the interchange with interest. Was that sexual tension? She was the first to admit that she assumed Alex was gay until Kara had corrected her, but she’d bet money that Alex had just given Maggie the up and down. And now she had her arm wrapped around Maggie’s waist, leaning in slightly to listen to Maggie’s descriptions of the different floats that went by, along with commentary about the coopting of pride by corporate and sometimes rather conservative sponsors. It almost made her nostalgic for the homegrown parades of years past, back when the floats were less flashy but clearly homemade and the participants weren’t primarily white gay men with sculpted six packs coated in baby oil.

Over the next half hour, the group watched and cheered as the floats went by, jumping to catch the beads and novelty gifts thrown from some of the floats. Pretty soon, they all had a collection of rainbow beads strung around their necks and pockets stuffed full of lollipops and condoms.

“Here, I’ll trade ya so we’ve both got something we can use!” a man in a shimmery rainbow top announced, holding out a handful of rectangular packets and gesturing at Alex’s condoms.

“Uh, sure?” Alex wasn’t quite sure what had happened and turned around as soon as he left to ask Maggie to explain.

Biting back a grin, Maggie just gestured for Alex to get Lucy to explain.

“He thought you were gay,” Lucy chimed in. “He gave you a bunch of dental dams in exchange for condoms.”

“Oh…um, okay,” Alex nodded.

“You can have our condoms,” Vasquez offered, seeing as both she and Lucy had fistfuls from the last float.

“Eh,” Alex shrugged. “Not like I’ve needed one for years.”

While Lucy was shrieking about how she would find someone for Alex while she was in town because years was unacceptable if Alex still wanted sex, Vasquez caught the smile that quickly appeared (and just as quickly disappeared) from Maggie’s face at hearing how long it had been for Alex, then hearing Lucy’s promise to remedy the situation.

“It’s really fine, Luce,” Alex explained, trying to end the conversation before her face turned an even brighter shade of red.

“Danvers! It’s good to get laid!”

“I, just, it’s never as good as, whatever, it’s fine, okay?” Alex huffed.

Luckily Vasquez intervened, pulling Lucy into her chest and kissing the top of her head. “We can have plenty of sex to make up for it,” she whispered, though Kara, with her freakishly good hearing, caught it and glared, remembering that Lucy and Vasquez were staying at her place.

When the parade began to wind down, the crowd dispersed as everyone headed to find some place to eat before the parties started that night. “What do you wanna do for food?” Maggie asked, looking at Alex.

“Uhm, anything is good with me. Are there places that have Pride specials?”

“Honestly? Any restaurant within a 10-block radius of the parade route is going to have stuff going on. They know what a big boom today is for business.”

“Should we go to The Dirty Robber, then? It _is_ our place. We can see if Megan is in?”

“Yeah, that works,” Maggie nodded. Given the new heavily vegan menu, the restaurant was sure to be crawling with queer women.

“Our place?” Vasquez mouthed at Kara, earning a shrug and a small smile. It wasn’t her place to question her sister’s relationship with Maggie. According to Alex, they were best friends, and Kara would stick with it until Alex told her otherwise.

\---

Alex looked on, a small frown on her face, as what seemed like the twentieth woman approached Maggie with a smile and her number.

“What’s up?” Vasquez asked, motioning to Alex’s furrowed brow.

“Nothing,” Alex grumbled. “Maggie’s just…making a lot of friends.”

“She is a very attractive woman,” Vasquez laughed.

Rounding on Vasquez, Alex scowled. “You have a girlfriend! She isn’t yours to look at that way.”

Biting back a grin at Alex’s wording, Vasquez nodded appeasingly. “I know I have a girlfriend—a smoking hot girlfriend. I just meant that your friend is hot. It makes sense that other people have noticed her. But, uh, she isn’t mine, huh? Whose is she?”

“Whatever.” Alex waved off the question, turning her attention back to the menu as though she might order something new. “I’m gonna get a drink from the bar. Want anything?”

“I’m good,” Vasquez answered, determined to figure out what was going on in Alex’s head. She resolved to ask Lucy, since her girlfriend was a bit closer to Alex than she was.

While Alex was up at the bar waiting for her beer, a woman who looked to be about her age sidled up next to her. “Hey,” she said, grinning at Alex. “I’m Marisha. What’s your name?”

“Alex,” she answered warily, wondering why the woman was being so friendly.

“What are you drinking?” Marisha asked, moving closer to Alex.

“Uh, beer.” Trying to be polite, she asked, “And you? What’s your drink of choice?”

Across the room, Maggie stood with her arms crossed, watching intently as some woman—a very pretty woman, she thought angrily—put her hand on Alex’s arm and laughed loudly at a joke Maggie was sure wasn’t all that funny. But Alex wasn’t moving the woman’s hand or leaving.

“Why the anger? It’s Pride,” Lucy asked, looking at Maggie’s very obvious scowl.

“I’m not. It’s just, someone should go tell that woman that Danvers isn’t interested.”

“What if she is interested? You heard how long it’s been. Maybe she’s ready to try dipping her toes into the lady pond,” Lucy teased, only to be greeted with an even deeper scowl.

“I think someone should make sure she’s okay,” Maggie declared, striding across the bar and straight to Alex.

“Hey,” she smiled, wrapping her arm around Alex’s waist. “They said our table is almost ready.”

“Oh, great!” Alex beamed at Maggie. “Maggie, this is Marisha. She’s new to National City and wanted to hear about the best things to do for Pride. I told her you were the best resource.”

Marisha plastered a fake smile on her face. “Since you have your table, I won’t keep you any longer. I’m sure I can find other people with recommendations too.”

“Huh, she had really wanted to talk earlier.” Alex shrugged, furrowing her brow in confusion at the rapid change in demeanor.

“Yeah, well, I think she only wanted to talk to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she was hitting on you.”

“Oh. Really? She’s so pretty. Why would she possibly talk to me?”

Because you’re gorgeous, Maggie thought. Instead she shrugged. “Not so bad yourself, Danvers.”

Over lunch, both Lucy and Vasquez stayed in observation mode, texting each other plenty of updates from under the table as they kept tabs on Alex and Maggie’s non-relationship relationship. Luckily Kara was too busy giggling and holding hands with Lena to notice their spying; otherwise Kara would surely have chastised them for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feelings/angst, slightly NSFW

After lunch, they decided to part ways, since everyone but Alex wanted to rest up before the parties that night.

Before Alex could head back to her place—or, more likely, Maggie’s, Lucy thought—Lucy grabbed her. “Hey! Alex, it’s been too long. Let’s catch up, shall we?”

“Umm, we just had dinner, but sure. I have missed you, Luce.”

“Yeah, you live close, right? Let me walk you home.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, still slightly confused.

Once they had gotten far enough away from everyone, Lucy turned to face Alex. “Alright, you like how I’m pretty no nonsense, straight to the point, right?”

“Yeah. I mean, it was the worst when I barely knew you,” she teased, “but now I know it’s just part of who you are.”

“Right. So here’s the deal. Are you and Maggie a thing? Dating? Whatever?”

“What? Pfft, no,” Alex brushed off the question, laughing slightly too loudly. She’d heard the question enough times that it didn’t really rattle her, but hearing her own friend ask was new.

“Alex, I’m serious. If you aren’t into her like that, you need to let her go.”

“She’s my best friend!” Alex snapped. “I’m not going to stop hanging out with her because people think we’re a couple. She still dates plenty of other people!”

“How long have those relationships lasted?”

“I don’t know. A few months, maybe.”

“And when did her last relationship end?”

Alex shrugged, feeling herself growing defensive and trying to shake it off. “Around the holidays, I think.”

“So it’s been half a year since she’s dated anyone?”

“Yeah, and? It’s been years since I’ve dated anyone.”

“Not really helping, Alex. Look, I’m just saying, falling for a straight girl, especially your straight best friend, is like, the oldest story in the book. And it will fuck you up in the worst of ways. So if you don’t think of her like that, you need to make that clear, okay?”

“Fine,” Alex shrugged, not wanting to pay attention to the way her gut clenched at the idea of having to give up any of what she had with Maggie. “Look, I’m tired. Out in the sun all day. I’m just gonna, I’m gonna go home. Are you okay to get to Kara’s?”

“Alex,” Lucy pleaded. She knew she had been a little harsh, but she had been the gay friend hopelessly pining after the best friend that would flirt back when it was convenient without ever letting it mean anything more, and she knew just how badly it could hurt. “Please?”

“I’m tired, Luce. I’ll talk to you later.”

Lucy swallowed thickly as Alex walked quickly off in the direction of her apartment. Eventually she turned and walked back toward Kara’s place.

\---

Back at Kara’s apartment, Vasquez was sitting down with Kara while Lena ran back to her place to get clothes for that night.

“Kara,” Vasquez began, searching for the right words.

“Vasquez,” Kara teased.

“I know that you’re going to say it isn’t my business, but I have to ask: what’s going on with your sister and Maggie? I mean, I know they aren’t a couple, but they sure as hell act like one.”

“It’s her life, Vas."

“Yeah…but she was pissed when girls were hitting on Maggie, and she’s so touchy with her, and they have ‘a place.’ You’ve got to admit, it seems coupley.”

“It’s good for Alex to have friends, okay?”

“Fine,” Vasquez sighed, though she didn’t seem pleased.

“Look,” Kara said, dropping her voice. “I see it, alright? Of course I see it. They act like a couple. They’ve both been single for months, and neither of them seems to be looking, which is fine and a totally valid life choice, but it sure seems like they’re not looking because they’re already in a relationship. But Alex has never said anything about being other than straight, so I’m not going to push her on it, especially given the way she freaked out last time I tried to bring it up.”

“Wait, you’ve talked to her about it?”

“Well, not about Maggie,” Kara clarified. “Our high school had a big reunion for all the classes to celebrate its centennial, and we ran into this girl, Vicky, that used to be Alex’s best friend. I made some joke later about Alex having a crush on her and that being the reason she’d gotten mad enough to end the friendship over Vicky’s new boyfriend, and she freaked. She got plastered, and I had to carry her home and hide her outside until Eliza went to bed.”

“Oh, fuck.”

“Oh, fuck, what?” Lucy asked, popping her head in the door.

“Nothing!” Kara exclaimed, smiling innocently.

“She already knows, Kara,” Vasquez explained.

“Are you two talking about my sister?” Kara crossed her arms over her chest and fixed them with a stern glare.

“Oh, you mean Alex and her totally platonic girlfriend?” Lucy asked. Kara huffed, even as a part of her acknowledged the truth to it, and Vasquez chuckled. “She, um, she might need to talk to someone who isn’t me in the near future,” Lucy admitted, looking sheepishly at Kara.

“What’d you do?” Kara asked, looking almost panicked.

“I just told her that if she isn’t into Maggie, then she needs to let the woman find someone else to date. You know as well as I do how much it sucks to fall for a straight girl. Does Siobhan not ring any bells for you?”

“Fine,” Kara grumbled, making a note to text Alex in a couple of hours just to check in.

“So…she probably won’t be coming to any of the parties tonight, huh?” Vasquez asked, looking to Kara.

“Definitely not,” Kara shook her head. “And it’s really for the best that we don’t put her near that much booze.”

\---

Across town, Alex sulked around her apartment. Her first instinct had been to call Maggie, since that was what she normally did when she was upset or wanted to talk to someone, but now apparently she wasn’t supposed to. She tried reading, then watching television, but nothing seemed distracting enough for her current mood. So she took a long shower, then got in bed, wondering if she might be able to fall asleep.

Instead, she spent half an hour on top of her blankets staring at the ceiling and running through all of her interactions with Maggie. Was she keeping her best friend from having a fulfilling life? Sure, she hadn’t liked Rachel, but it wasn’t like the relationship was particularly healthy. Rachel had tried to police Maggie’s time and friendships—okay, only with her, but still. She had never been anything but supportive of Maggie’s earlier relationships. They hadn’t lasted, but she was sure Maggie (or her exes) had perfectly legitimate reasons for ending things.

The second she let her mind flit to the possibility that maybe she and Maggie should date, her mother’s face popped into view, telling her how she needed to set the right example for her new foster sister, how she should try harder, how she should strive for perfection. She could hear Kara’s objections—she was out, and Eliza had never been anything other than supportive—but she also knew that Kara had never been held to quite the same standards. Kara received leeway Alex never had and somehow managed to still surpass any expectation Eliza had.

A text from Kara pulled her out of her thoughts. “Hey, how are you?”

“Fine.”

“Okay, um, that doesn’t seem really fine…”

“What? Lucy talk to you?” Alex could just picture them all huddled up in Kara’s apartment dissecting the minutiae of her relationship with Maggie, trying to parse out her sexuality like it was their right to know or discern it for her.

“Alex, I’m just checking in. I wanted to make sure you got home alright, see if you want to do sister night tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Alex replied, knowing it would settle Kara’s nerves. She really didn’t need her sister coming over when she was still so freaked out about Lucy’s comments.

“Perfect! I’ll bring ice cream, and you can even pick the movie.”

Alex replied with the thumbs up emoji. She knew the offer was more of a bribe than anything, but she still appreciated the opportunity to not have to sit through another romcom.

Seeing that it was after 5, Alex figured she probably deserved a drink stronger than the beer she got at lunch. It wasn’t unhealthy if she waited for happy hour. Plus, Lucy had clearly been sipping from a flask throughout the parade, and she saw plenty of drunk people out and about. She was just fitting in.

A few fingers of whiskey later, Alex finally felt like she could relax slightly. She settled in with Netflix, ignoring the text Maggie had sent about getting ready to go out, and searched for a show to watch. She settled for Gray’s Anatomy, since Kara was already caught up, while Alex was still back on season 5. When she remembered what Callie and Erica’s storyline had been lately, she topped off her glass once more before settling back down on the couch.

Alex woke up slightly confused, blinking at the screen in confusion. She'd obviously fallen asleep at some point, though she didn’t think she had been out for much time at all. Netflix was still playing, so at least it hadn’t been long enough that they wanted to know if she was still watching. Focusing back in on the episode, she found exactly the storyline she’d been avoiding playing front and center on her screen. She took a deep breath and decided to power through. After all, she wasn’t gay, so it shouldn’t matter that someone else was going through those emotions.

“You are glasses! I am so gay. I am so, so, so gay. I am extremely gay!” Erica exclaimed. Alex rubbed her eyes. She had definitely missed something because none of that made sense. So she found herself rewinding. Just to get the context right, of course. As she sat through the full speech, she felt vaguely uncomfortable, though she couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was wrong. Maybe it was just because it had been so damn long since she’d been on a date…or, as Lucy kept reminding her, since she'd gotten laid. But it was never good or fun or any of the things she wanted it to be. She didn’t dwell on why that sounded vaguely reminiscent of the missing point Erica mentioned. Surely sex with women would be just as unsatisfying as sex with men, Alex reasoned. None of them were the same as her vibrator, and that was all she needed. Maybe that was what she needed… Turning off the television and pouring just a splash of whiskey more into her cup, Alex made her way into her bedroom, kicking the door shut for good measure.

\---

As Alex rubbed her eyes, she turned over in bed, rolling into Maggie’s warm body. “Hey,” she mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

“Morning,” Maggie whispered, wrapping an arm around Alex to keep her close.

“Do we need to be up for work?” Alex asked.

“No, you’re fine. It’s Sunday.” Alex relaxed as Maggie ran her fingers through Alex’s hair.

“Mm, good.”

“Mhm. Should we start our day off right?” Maggie asked, her voice pitched low and a playful grin curling up the corners of her mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe a repeat of last night…” Maggie trailed off, letting Alex put it together. As soon as Alex nodded, Maggie was ducking down and pressing her lips against Alex’s—softly at first, then building in intensity. Alex whimpered as Maggie’s tongue flicked into her mouth and her hands dragged down her body, fingertips dancing across the smooth planes her stomach, then down to her inner thighs.

“Maggie,” Alex panted, rolling to flip them over. Only when she flipped, she wasn’t on top of Maggie; she was alone in bed, sweaty and tangled up in her sheets with a terrible hangover that was only going to get worse as she tried to figure out what the fuck she had been dreaming about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've got Supercorp and Vasquez/Lucy shenanigans, some Maggie, some Alex, and some Danvers sisters bonding here!

The morning after Pride, Maggie woke up with a pounding headache, a harness still strapped to her hips, and a woman in her bed who looked far too much like Alex Danvers for Maggie to pretend like she had her crush under control. Since it was her bed and her apartment, she couldn’t very well pull on her clothes, creep out of the room, and act like nothing had happened.

Apparently the sun was a little too bright for the other woman as well, forcing her eyes awake as she blinked and rolled over. “Hey,” she rasped, grinning lazily up at Maggie.

“Morning,” Maggie greeted, wondering how to end this. Because the woman had Alex’s hair but not her eyes, her bearing but not her personality—none of the things that actually made Alex Alex.

As if she could see the panic in Maggie’s eyes—and Maggie guessed she probably could—the woman pulled herself out of bed. “Last night was fun, but I should really get going. Friends will wonder why I’m not at post-Pride brunch.”

“Right, right. I should also probably check in with my friends.” One in particular. “Need to find out how their nights went too.”

As she pulled on her shirt and pants and stuffed her feet into her shoes, the woman nodded, adding: “Morning after brunch is one of the best parts of Pride. Well, enjoy yourself. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, maybe. Have fun at brunch.”

With a small wave and a smile, she was out the door, leaving Maggie alone with her headache and her racing thoughts. She checked her phone, finding that Alex still hadn’t replied to any of her messages from the night before. As much as she knew that calling was probably a bad idea, she also needed to hear that Alex was alright.

“Hello?” Alex answered.

“Hey, I, um, I guess you’re fine? I just wanted to make sure you were okay, since you didn’t answer any of my texts. Which is fine too!” Maggie clenched her jaw, wondering when she had turned into such an idiot. Clearly she was still smooth enough to get someone to come home with her. Someone…Kate! That was her name.

Alex interrupted her inner monologue: “Oh, yeah, sorry. I was…uh, just, you know, tired after the parade. I fell asleep watching some television.” That was true enough.

“Oh, okay. That’s good. Um, did you want to do something today?”

Alex sucked her lower lip between her teeth, debating what the right answer was. On the one hand, of course she wanted to see Maggie. She was her best friend; she always wanted to see Maggie. On the other hand, she didn’t necessarily want to see the woman who starred in her sex dreams last night. Plus, Lucy had suggested she back off a little bit. “Oh, I’d love to, but Kara and I are hanging out today.” Totally true. “Um, how was your night, though?”

“Oh, it was…fine.”

“Meet anyone?” Alex asked, trying to sound as supportive as possible.

“No one special,” Maggie replied honestly. “Anyway, I guess I’ll let you go get ready for Kara. See you tomorrow, Al.”

“See ya, Mags.” Alex did not feel any better after hanging up the phone. She already missed Maggie’s voice and hated herself for feeling that way. After a few minutes of deliberating, she decided to call Kara. It was already noon; she was probably awake at this point.

“Hello?” came Lena’s voice.

“Oh, hey, Lena. It’s Alex. Is, uh, Kara there?”

“Mhm, one second.” Alex heard scuffling noises before, “Kara, wake up. Wake up! It’s your sister.”

“’Lo?” Kara yawned into the phone.

“Hey, Kara, sorry for waking you.”

“No, no, it’s fine. What’s up?” Kara asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes and glaring jealously at Lena as she burrowed back under the covers.

“I just wanted to say hey. See when you wanted to meet for sister night.”

“Right! Yeah, wanna say 5? We can order Chinese food and watch movies?”

“Sounds great. I’ll let you get back to bed.”

“Thanks, Alex,” Kara replied, listening as Alex said goodbye before hanging up the phone. She dropped back into bed, groaning as her body seemed to protest the effort.

“So, what happened to Ms. I never get hangovers?” Lena teased.

“Shut up, please. I don’t know what I was drinking, but the whole world was…floaty.”

“I know,” Lena said, letting out an uncharacteristic giggle. “You told the whole bar. You may have also implied that you could fly.”

“Urgh, no more of those drinks. Ever.” Looking around, Kara narrowed her eyes. “Why is the bed full of glitter?”

Lena shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Should we go see how our guests are doing?”

Kara nodded, excited at least to hear about Lucy and Vasquez’s night. She stumbled out into the living room, finding Vasquez happily curled up on the couch under the blanket and an almost completely naked Lucy sprawled out across the floor, which was, luckily, carpeted.

“Good morning, princess,” Kara called out, laughing when Lucy groggily blinked open her eyes, clearly unsure about where she was or how she had gotten there.

“Make the room stop spinning,” Lucy grumbled, slowly pulling her head off the ground.

“Hey, babe, maybe try a shirt?” Vasquez suggested, looking surprisingly awake.

“Why don’t you look like the rest of us?” Lena asked, eyes narrowed at Vasquez’s chipper demeanor.

“Because someone needed to make sure this one got home safely,” she laughed, looking at Lucy who was still sprawled out in nothing but boxer shorts.

“I wasn’t that drunk,” Lucy protested.

“Nope, not at all. You were very sober, babe,” Vasquez teased, throwing a shirt at Lucy.

“Well, I’ll make pancakes and coffee,” Kara volunteered, pulling Lena with her. “And seriously, Luce, put on a shirt. If we can behave, so can you.” She stuck her tongue out at Lucy, who grinned wickedly back at her.

“You call what you did last night behaving?”

Looking suddenly nervous, Kara shrugged. “Uh, yes?”

“Mhm…okay, then.”

“Wait, what happened? I still remember just about all of last night, and I don’t recall doing anything that crazy while we were out except making out with Lena in front of a whole bunch of people.”

“Oh, no, you were good while we were out,” Vasquez clarified, biting back a grin. “I think Lucy is talking about when we got home.”

Kara closed her eyes, trying to recall what had happened. She remembered Vasquez shuffling them all inside and getting them water and snacks. In retrospect, she should have realized the other woman was still sober. And then she remembered taking Lena to the bedroom. She wondered if they had been loud…

“So you don’t remember telling us about how you had learned about contouring with glitter from some of the drag queens?” Vasquez asked.

“Oh, yeah! Shit…is that why my bed is full of glitter?”

“Probably,” Lucy nodded, smirking at Kara. “You also decided to demonstrate for us—specifically how one enhances cleavage with glitter. And you wanted to practice on Lena, even though, and I’ll quote, ‘she already has the best boobs ever.’ But when the glitter wasn’t sticking, you decided it needed some…adhesive, so you licked your girlfriend’s tits in front of everyone then poured, like, a bag of glitter on her.”

“Crud.”

Lena pulled her collar away from her neck, looking down her shirt and finding that she did, indeed, have an inordinate amount of glitter stuck to her chest. “You’re helping me wash this off,” Lena demanded, mock-glaring at Kara.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kara teased, looking far too pleased with her punishment.

“Anyway…” Vasquez trailed off, really not needing to see any more after last night. “What are your plans for the day?”

“I should head back to my apartment soon,” Lena admitted, looking disappointed by the idea. “I need to get laundry done before we go back to work tomorrow.”

“And I’m meeting with Alex tonight,” Kara added, sending a slightly annoyed look in Lucy’s direction.

“Can you tell her that I’m sorry for being a little too…forward?” Lucy asked, looking mollified.

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that. What time are you guys heading back?”

“Honestly? We should probably leave pretty soon,” Vasquez answered, looking at her watch. “But we’ll stay for breakfast!”

“Is it breakfast if it’s already noon?” Lena asked, laughing softly and earning a chorus of groans from the other women.

\---

By the time Kara knocked on Alex’s door, Alex still wasn’t sure what, if anything, she was going to say to Kara. She suspected her sister might want to talk about what Lucy said to her, and part of her almost wanted to admit to how her night had gone, if only to have someone to talk to. But at the same time, saying anything aloud might make it true.

“Kara!” Alex exclaimed, pulling her sister into a hug. “You’ve got a little glitter,” she laughed, gesturing at Kara’s ear.

“Ugh, better than it was,” Kara admitted, shutting the door behind her and kicking off her shoes.

“So I take it you had an enjoyable night?”

“It was fun. Definitely not something I want to do every weekend, but fun for a once a year type of event. What about you? How was your night?”

“Um, fine?” Alex knew her answer sounded rather unconvincing, but she didn’t have the energy to keep hiding everything, especially not from her sister.

“Lucy wanted me to pass on her apology. I think she would have come herself, but she wasn’t sure if you’d want to see her yet.”

Alex nodded. “She probably has a point.”

“About you not wanting to see her yet, or…?”

“Both,” Alex answered, her voice quiet.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay, well, we have all night. And, you know, forever,” Kara laughed softly. “Want me to order dinner?”

“Yes, please!”

A little while later, they had settled into the couch, cartons of Chinese takeout splayed out in front of them as they debated what to watch. “Wanna keep going on Gray’s?” Kara suggested.

“No!” Alex yelped.

“Sorry…I thought you liked it.”

“I, um, I do. Just, I already watched some last night, so I’m looking for something new.”

“Okay,” Kara nodded, though she wasn’t quite sure she understood what had happened with the show. “Have any other suggestions?”

Alex intended to reply with something about television. Instead she blurted out, “Do you think I’m the reason Maggie hasn’t been in a relationship for a while?”

“Uh, what?”

“Nothing.” Alex shook her head.

“No, it’s not nothing. Does this have something to do with what Lucy said to you?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay. Do you want to tell me what she said?”

“Not really.”

“You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything. Well, except for the fact that you don’t like chocolate pecan pie. That’s just madness.”

“Ugh, it’s too sweet.”

“No such thing.”

Figuring she should speak before her courage left her again, Alex segued directly back into the conversation about Lucy. “She said I was Maggie’s straight girl crush, and unless I like her too, I need to stop taking up all of her time.”

Kara narrowed her eyes, resolving to have a stern talking to with Lucy about her word choice. She knew Lucy meant well, but Alex was already so defensive about her love life, it really wasn’t the right way to approach the topic with her. “Maggie is a grown up. If she wants to spend her free time with you, she can do that.”

“But do you think…do you think she likes me?”

Duh, Kara thought, though it wasn’t her place to say something for Maggie. Instead she asked, “How do you think you would feel if she liked you?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t know.” In fact, she had spent the whole day wondering what to make of Lucy’s assessment. As freaked out as she was about what it would mean for her, the thought made her stomach flutter with a kind of nervous anticipation. Part of her wanted to know what might happen. The part of her that conjured up that dream out of somewhere definitely wanted to know what might happen.

“That’s okay too,” Kara reassured Alex. “But maybe you should talk to her about it?”

Alex scoffed. “Oh, please, what would I say? Hey, Maggie! My friends who met you for all of a few hours think you’re head over heels in love with me. Is that true?”

Kara shook her head in frustration, even as she chuckled at Alex’s response. “Yes, Alex, that’s exactly what you should say. No, dummy! First, you need to figure out how you’re going to respond either way.”

“Well, if she says no, I mean, nothing has changed, right?” Of course, everything had sort of changed. Because now she had these images of Maggie in her bed in a very non-platonic way, and maybe she had somehow developed feelings for her friend, for her female friend. But she wasn’t gay? Right? She had been straight for 30 years. That had to count for something.

“Alex, where’d you go?” Kara asked, looking at the vacant, slightly panicked expression in Alex’s eyes.

“Nowhere.”

“Really?”

“I just had a weird dream thing, that’s all. But dreams don’t mean anything.”

Kara shrugged. “To some people they do. Want to tell me about your dream?”

Alex shook her head, then seemed to reconsider. She didn’t really want to, but at the same time, she suspected that if she didn’t tell anyone, it would continue to eat away at her. “I had a sex dream about Maggie,” she finally blurted out, looking very far away from Kara’s face.

“Okay, that’s alright, you know?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, it’s just…weird.”

“Well, can you think of any reasons why you might have been dreaming about that?”

There was the conversation with Lucy, and the weird jealousy at Pride, and the fact that she and Maggie had woken up in bed together that morning, and the stupid Gray’s Anatomy glasses scene, and maybe, just maybe, she had let her thoughts wander slightly while she was…enjoying herself alone, but in all fairness, she was pretty drunk. “Uh, maybe what Lucy said?” Alex tried.

“Okay,” Kara nodded, fairly certain that wasn’t all of it. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, but it’s also okay if it does. It’s okay to like Maggie or want to do something with her, and it’s okay if you still like men or don’t know if you like women or if it’s just a Maggie thing. And it’s okay if none of that is true.”

“Thanks,” Alex whispered. Sniffling quietly, she dropped her head to Kara’s shoulder, smiling as Kara’s hand came around to rub soothing circles on her shoulder. As much as Kara loved Alex’s being the protective big sister, it was nice to be able to be there for Alex sometimes too.

After Alex felt like she had her emotions under control enough to talk about it more—figuring that after this conversation ended, it would take a lot to ever start it again—Alex quietly asked, “How disappointed do you think Mom would be?”

Kara wanted to say that Eliza would never be disappointed in Alex for something like this (and she truly believed it), but she also knew that the two had a somewhat tense relationship. Between Eliza believing in Alex so much that she pushed her a little too hard to be all that Eliza thought she could be, and Alex taking every poorly worded encouragement as a demand that could make her a failure if she didn’t meet it, there were plenty of issues that would need to be resolved before Alex could simply believe that Eliza would never truly be disappointed in her.

“You can explore these things and figure out what happiness looks like for you before you talk to Eliza, Alex.”

Alex seemed to consider it. “Okay, right, I guess so.”

“I think you should really talk to Maggie, though,” Kara added.

“Ugh, why must I do the difficult things?”

“You talk to her everyday.”

“We work together,” Alex protested.

“Yeah, but you also have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together most days, and half of the time I swear you sleep in each other’s beds!” Kara countered.

“Best friends do that,” Alex huffed.

“So do girlfriends,” Kara teased, glad to see that Alex didn’t seem to be pulling away just yet.

“Whatever, I’ll get around to talking to her.”

“Alex…”

“Fine! What do you want me to say?”

“Text her to schedule something for tomorrow. That way you can’t back out of it. Well, I suppose you could still back out of the conversation, but it’ll make it harder.”

“Why?” Alex whined.

“Because it’s the right decision. Unless, you know, you want to have sex dreams about her forever. Also, if the answer to that is yes, please don’t tell me.”

Alex laughed at Kara’s pained grimace. “Fine, fine. Hand me my phone.”

Looking placated, Kara handed the device over to her sister.

“Done,” Alex declared.

“What’d you send?”

“Drinks after work tomorrow?” Alex read from her screen.

A couple minutes later, her phone buzzed. “Dirty Robber?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied.

“See ya then, Danvers.”

“Perfect!” Kara exclaimed, hugging Alex tightly before she could panic.

“Why does this feel like a terrible idea?” Alex muttered.

“Because you’re nervous.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W for a few brief instances of homophobic language or internalized homophobia

“Ready to head out?” Maggie asked, popping her head around the door of Alex’s office.

“Oh, yeah, just give me a second. I just want to email this report up to SVU, then I’m ready.” Maggie nodded, leaning up against the doorway and checking Facebook as she waited. “Ready!” Alex announced, trying to psych herself up for whatever conversation it was they were about to have.

“Alright, let’s go,” Maggie grinned, glad to see that Alex was still being (relatively) normal around her after Pride. She worried after the night where all of her texts went unanswered, but Alex must have just been tired like she said.

When they arrived at The Dirty Robber, Alex was happy to see Megan busy dealing with issues and a relatively new waiter assigned to their section. She didn’t really want to have this conversation in front of anyone they knew.

“Can I get you ladies started with something to drink?” the young man asked.

“Could I grab a Pale Ale?” Maggie ordered.

“Could I get a scotch? And, uh, make it a double.” Alex ignored Maggie’s questioning look. She needed a bit of liquid courage to get through this conversation.

“Can I see your IDs?” he asked. Though neither of them had been carded, especially here, in a very long time, they smiled at the new waiter and pulled out their wallets. “Right, coming right up.”

“So, what’s with the double?”

“Uh, just felt like I could use it. Not like I had your weekend,” Alex said, forcing a laugh.

“Fair enough.” It still struck Maggie as odd, but then again, Alex had been working on an SVU case, so she might just need a little something to take the edge of what was probably a rough day.

Within a few minutes, the waiter was back with their drinks. “Do you know what you want to eat?”

“Always,” Alex laughed, ordering the usual and feeling especially thankful that it was properly happy hour and she wouldn’t need to confuse the new boy by ordering something off menu. She finished her drink by the time Maggie was through ordering, earning a concerned look when she went to order a second. “Er, make it a beer. Same as hers is fine.” Maggie seemed pacified by the switch.

“How was your day?” Maggie asked, hoping to get Alex to open up a little bit about whatever it was that was bothering her.

“Eh, alright. Busy. What about yours?”

Deciding not to push her on it just yet, Maggie launched into a play-by-play of her own day. It hadn’t been particularly exciting—something for which she was always grateful as a homicide detective—but there were leads to chase down from ongoing cases and paperwork to file for Jesse’s arrest. She had ended her day by gathering evidence for her testimony at his bail hearing in case she ended up being called to the stand. By the time she was done talking, their food had arrived, along with Alex’s drink.

“To the day being over,” Maggie toasted.

“Cheers,” Alex chimed in, clinking their bottles together.

“So, what’s on your mind?” Maggie asked around a bite of salad. “You seem a little…off.”

“Oh…nothing. Just had some, uh, interesting conversations with Kara and Lucy and stuff this weekend.”

“Oh, really? What about?”

“Nothing in particular. Well, I guess Lucy wanted to talk about my lack of a dating and sex life.” Alex forced out a self-deprecating laugh, failing to mention that she’d been more interested in Maggie’s nonexistent dating life these days.

“It’s your life,” Maggie reassured Alex, trying to tamp down the way she felt so pleased about Alex’s singledom.

“Right, yeah, and I mean, it’s not like you’re dating someone now. Unless, are you?”

“No,” Maggie shook her head. She basically was, though she wouldn’t freak Alex out by pointing it out.

“Yeah, so it’s both of us.”

“Uh, yeah,” Maggie nodded, trying to figure out where this conversation was going.

“And Lucy made this point—I mean, it’s probably such a dumb point—but, uh, she thought that maybe there was some connection there.”

“What kind of connection?” Maggie tried to breath normally, to keep her anxiety in check as thoughts raced through her mind about what Lucy, who had watched her so intently, might have suggested to Alex about how Maggie felt.

Taking a large swallow of her beer, Alex forced herself to sound casual. “Just that maybe we were keeping each other single. Or, more so, that I was keeping you single.”

“Why would she say that?” Maggie asked, laughing nervously.

“It’s Lucy,” Alex shrugged, as though she couldn’t think of plenty of reasons.

“I mean, I don’t have to be single. I went home with someone during Pride,” Maggie added, desperately hoping that Alex would just drop it before getting to whatever comment Lucy made to Alex about how Maggie pined after her.

“Oh.” Alex tried to ignore the way her heart clenched at that, though, she supposed, if they were having this conversation, maybe she should be paying attention to those clues. “That’s, uh, nice. Are you going to see her again?”

Maggie shrugged. Of course not, but Alex didn’t need to know that.

“Well, um, can we Facebook stalk her like we normally do?” Alex hoped her tone sounded normal, not high pitched and forced the way it did in her head.

“Oh, no.” Because the girl looked enough like Alex to raise suspicions, to seem fucking creepy, if she were being honest.

“Why? I mean, it’s your choice obviously!”

“I, uh, I don’t know her name.” That was half true. She had a first name, but there were way too many Kates to try to find a specific one on the internet.

“Ah, so it really isn’t serious,” Alex sighed, letting go of the anxiety she had been holding onto since hearing the news.

“Well, no, I suppose not. Point is, it’s not like I’m incapable of finding someone else. I mean someone new. New. Since Rachel.”

“Right, yeah, of course,” Alex nodded.

“Mhm,” Maggie agreed, focusing intently on her food. At this rate, she was basically done with her salad and was hoping the waiter would come back so she could order another drink.

“Am I the reason you aren’t dating anyone?” Alex blurted out, flushing a fantastic shade of red.

“Uh, what?”

“Sorry, no, nothing. Ignore me.”

“No, seriously, Alex, what do you mean?”

“Just, am I, like, ruining your life…by taking up all of your time and emotional energy and shit?”

“No.” Maggie shook her head resolutely. “Absolutely not.” Sure, Alex took up most of her time. And she was head over heels for the woman. But it wasn’t Alex’s fault that she seemed so damn perfect for Maggie.

“Okay. So you, um, you don’t like me?”

“What? No!” Maggie could feel her heart racing in her chest. It was like Eliza all over again, and all she wanted to do was bolt before Alex could decide that their close friendship was too much, too weird, too queer.

“Oh. Okay.”

Was that…was that disappointment? Maggie wondered. Was there some possibility that Alex liked her back? That this straight girl was thinking about her in a less than platonic way?

“Why?” Maggie asked, looking earnestly up at Alex and hoping that her expression would convey everything she wasn’t saying.

“Just, nothing. Something Lucy suggested, that's all.”

“Oh. Sorry, I hope she, uh, didn’t freak you out.”

“No!” Alex blurted out. Because yes, she’d been a little freaked at first, but not about Maggie—never about Maggie.

“What did you think…when she told you?” Maggie pressed, hoping her voice didn’t sound too hopeful, too invested in Alex’s answer.

“I don’t know exactly. But then I couldn’t, well, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And I just wondered if…if, I don’t know. It just, it made me, well, think about things.”

“Would you two like any dessert tonight?” their waiter interrupted, earning a death glare from Maggie.

“No.”

“Okay, then,” he replied, looking rather concerned about what he had done wrong. “I’ll just leave the check here.”

“Wait,” Maggie snapped, grabbing her wallet and tossing a card at him. “Sorry, here, just, you can take it now.”

When Maggie looked back at Alex, the woman looked like she was blinking back tears. “Alex, no, it’s just, I think maybe we should talk outside of the bar, that’s all.”

“Um, okay,” Alex nodded, terrified that she had already fucked up one of her only real friendships—her best friendship.

Seeing the look of sheer panic in Alex’s eyes, Maggie did the only thing she could think of, reaching across the table and taking Alex’s hand in hers. “I promise, nothing is wrong. I want to hear what you were saying, okay?”

“Alright.” Alex looked slightly more comforted, though her heart raced at the feeling of Maggie’s hand on hers, Maggie’s fingers tracing light circles against her palm to calm her down. She’d done this before, but this time felt different—more significant somehow.

As soon as the waiter returned, Maggie slipped her card back into her wallet and signed for a rather generous tip to make up for her snappy responses at the end. “C’mon, let’s walk.”

“Should we go get your car?”

“No, we’ve both had a bit to drink. I’ll walk you to your place, alright?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Once they got a few block away from the restaurant, Maggie turned toward Alex. “What were you thinking about? After Lucy told you?”

“I mean, it doesn’t matter. It’s not true, like you said. Lucy was just guessing after having only met you for a day.”

“And what if it were true?” Maggie asked, her voice quiet, a slight tremble in it that Alex would have heard if she had known to listen for it.

Alex gulped. “Then maybe I would have things I needed to talk to you about.”

“And what if this were me telling you that it’s true?”

“Is it?”

“It can be.” Maggie hoped beyond belief that Alex would understand why she couldn’t just say that it was, why she needed to protect her heart and this friendship—no matter how platonic it would end up being.

“Then I might tell you that I started thinking about what she said, started wondering why it made me feel nervous in a good way, started picturing you and me as an us and trying to figure out what it all meant. But only if what she said were true, of course.”

“Of course,” Maggie nodded. “Did that image, that image of us…what did you think about it?”

“It scared me at first,” Alex admitted, her voice small. “But maybe the voices telling me to be scared were wrong, maybe they weren’t the ones I should listen to when I make decisions. Because maybe they don’t have my happiness as their primary goal.”

Maggie slowed down as they approached Alex’s building. “I think we could be happy.”

“We—you and me? Together?”

“Yeah, Alex. Because I’m happy to be your friend—of course, I am. But I think I could make you happy in other ways too. I think that’s one of the most important things I could do.”

“Kiss me,” Alex whispered, her voice surprisingly steady considering the way her hands were trembling.

When Maggie looked up, ready to ask for clarification, she saw the glint in Alex’s eyes that told her all that she needed to know. So she stepped forward, moving them off of the sidewalk and toward the entry to Alex’s building, then let her hand gently cradle Alex’s cheek as she moved in slowly—careful to give Alex time to pull away if she wanted to—before finally connecting their lips. She fought to keep it chaste, moving to pull back after just a moment of everything she’d wanted for too long now.

“Not yet,” Alex whispered, moving her arms up and looping them around Maggie’s neck to draw her back in, kissing her—a real, proper kiss. She felt her heart swoop at the way Maggie moved with her, the feeling of her lips soft and pliant beneath her own, the soft sigh Maggie let out when Alex pulled her closer. And then Maggie was tilting her head and sucking on her lower lip and running fingers through her hair, and it was everything a kiss was supposed to feel like.

“That’s hot!” a voice rang out in the otherwise quiet night, accompanied by a few loud wolf whistles.

“Fuck off! It’s not for you!” Maggie yelled back, glaring at the group of drunk 20-something guys stumbling outside of Alex’s building.

“Whatever, dykes!” one of them yelled back, laughing loudly as they made their way toward the bars.

“I, uh, I’m sorry, Maggie, but I can’t, I can’t do this. I’ve gotta go.” Alex turned and walked quickly to the door, rushing before she could let Maggie see the tears welling up in her eyes, the way she was so quick to crumble at the first sign of what her life might look like if she started dating Maggie, started dating women. She was weak, and she knew it, but Maggie didn’t need to know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites
> 
> Also, let me know what day of the week you'd like to see the new chapters of this fic posted!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T/W for alcohol abuse and violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last of the chapters that had already been written, which means new chapters are coming this weekend!  
> Right now, the plan is to post a new chapter every Sunday if they end up being long chapters or Sunday and some mid-week day if that seems to work better. It'll probably take a week or two to figure out what works, since I'm still updating Stronger Together pretty much daily and do have a job/girlfriend/sleep schedule to maintain haha

“Alex!” Maggie called, pounding on Alex’s door. “What, what changed?”

Swallowing and trying not to sob, Alex choked out: “Not tonight. We’ll talk later.” A moment later, with her head resting on the door, she mumbled, “I’m sorry.” Because she was. Because she was a coward, and she didn’t deserve someone like Maggie. She didn’t even deserve a drink, though she would most certainly have a few of those, resigning herself to one hell of a hangover the next morning.

Maggie sat outside of Alex’s apartment door for a few minutes until she realized the woman really wasn’t coming back for her. She swallowed the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her, forcing herself back outside and down the block. She focused on the sound of her feet hitting the pavement, counting every step until she reached the precinct and got in her car. As she started the engine, she finally let herself collapse, if only for a moment. With her hands on either side of the steering wheel, she let her head fall forward, berating herself for letting this happen. Again. Letting herself fall for the straight best friend and believing it could end in anything but heartbreak.

With a shuddering breath, Maggie pushed down the parking break and pulled out of the lot, letting herself get lost in the rhythms of the familiar streets before she got home and had to deal with whatever had just happened. All too soon, she found herself pulling into her assigned spot and dragging her exhausted body out of the car, into her building, and up the stairs to her fourth floor walkup.

It was only after she had locked the door that she let her thoughts return to the night, to the long conversation that she'd never dared to imagine would really happen, to the kiss that had seemed so damn perfect until suddenly it wasn’t, to the abrupt way Alex had run off. It was like every one of her fantasies had suddenly segued into her nightmare: from Alex saying that yes, she wanted it too, and no, she wasn’t alone, to Alex bolting, fleeing, leaving Maggie alone and confused and helpless.

\---

After a night of tossing and turning, Maggie pulled herself out of bed hours early, determined to catch Alex before work because she couldn’t stand the idea of an entire day of not knowing, an entire day of waiting for Alex to find her, to reject her, to slowly distance herself until their friendship was nothing more than a fading memory. Because that was what happened to Maggie: she fell for her best friends and ruined everything in her life that made her happy, and she hated herself for it.

Hastily tucking a gray button up into black jeans and clipping on her badge, Maggie strode outside, opting to take her motorcycle, since it wasn’t like Alex would be hitching a ride with her anymore, even less likely that she’d ever deign to cling to Maggie’s waist, legs wrapped firmly around her, as they zipped their way out of the city and down the coast for a surprise daycation.

\---

Alex was vaguely aware of the pounding—the pounding at her door and the pounding in her head. She wondered if her head would stop when the door stopped. As she pulled herself to her feet, her vision swam and her head spun, but she managed to stagger her way to the front door and wrench it up, determined to tell whichever neighbor it was bothering her to go shove it. But when she opened the door, it wasn’t a neighbor. No, it was so much worse. It was the face of her best friend flashing from anger to concern, then back to anger in a matter of seconds as she took in Alex’s appearance.

“You look like shit, Danvers,” Maggie assessed, not bothering to mince words.

“Yeah, well…if you’ve come to tell me that, you’ve accomplished your goal,” Alex mumbled, moving to shut the door.

“No! No, you don’t get to bolt and then slam the door on me a second time." Her features softened then. "I’m still your best friend, Alex,” Maggie pleaded, her voice quiet and vulnerable. “Right?”

And it broke Alex’s heart to see Maggie like this, to see Maggie mourning the death of a relationship that never was—a relationship that never would be because Alex couldn’t deal with everything it might entail. “Yeah, of course,” she nodded, immediately chastising herself for moving her head as the room spun and her stomach churned. She staggered backward, desperate to find a place to sit, and Maggie was at her side in an instant, grabbing hold of her elbow and kicking her door shut as she helped guide Alex to the living room.

“You’re okay,” Maggie murmured, brushing the hair off of Alex’s face before she seemed to think better of it, withdrawing her fingers as though they had been burned. She shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and popping two waffles into the toaster after catching sight of the bottle of gin sitting on the counter with a significant amount now missing. She grimaced; Alex didn’t even like gin.

“Drink this, you’ll feel better,” Maggie explained, placing the cup in front of Alex as she went back to get the waffles. Once they were ready, she brought them back to Alex and sat down on the opposite side of the couch. “Want to tell me what happened yesterday?” Maggie asked, wishing her voice would stop trembling but resigning herself to it. Because scared as she was, she was angry too. Eliza had a homophobic family that didn’t teach her any better, but Alex should have know better, should have at least had the courtesy to sit her down and tell her that she thought she could make it work, but she just didn't feel that way, didn't have those feelings for other women, instead of running and slamming the door in her face.

“We have work,” Alex whispered, needing not to have this conversation now. Not to have this conversation ever. Because how could she bear Maggie thinking so little of her, Maggie finding out what a coward she was?

“We have work in an hour. That’s a whole hour to talk, Danvers.” Normally she wouldn’t push Alex like this, but she deserved some kind of answers too. She had put her heart on the line, finally confessing to her feelings after months, maybe even years, of denying them, repressing them, convincing herself that she could be just as happy as friends. And she could have been, but now she knew what it might be like to be more than friends, now she knew what it was like to feel hope surging in her chest at Alex telling her she wasn’t alone in feeling something.

“What do you want me to say?” Alex snapped.

“Say that it meant something! Tell me you weren’t just acting like every drunk straight girl who decides it would be fun to experiment for one night without thinking about the other person’s feelings!” Maggie shouted, her voice cracking as tears stung the corners of her eyes.

“Isn’t it easier if that’s it?” Alex asked, her voice a whisper to Maggie’s shouts.

“I don’t want what’s easy. I never have. I want you to tell me the truth.”

“The truth is that I want what’s easy. I crave things that are just easy, that are normal, that fall below the radar.”

“Is that what this is about?” Maggie scoffed. “Those drunken men-children?”

“You can laugh all you want,” Alex sneered, feeling her hackles raising, “but, yeah, I’m allowed to get freaked out by the first sign of what’s to come. I’m allowed to get scared when I can’t stand in my own doorway without having a group of grown men jeer at me from the street. I work with murder victims every fucking day, Maggie, and so do you. So don’t act like there isn’t something to it when I talk about feeling unsafe.”

“I’m not promising you perfect safety, but, Alex, you can’t let the assholes win. You can’t let them dictate your own happiness. So what? Our first kiss got interrupted by our first time being catcalled and yelled at together. Does it suck? Yeah. But we’ve got other, better firsts to look forward to if you still want this.” Maggie fought to keep her hope in check, but if this was it, if all Alex needed was a little reassurance, then she could do it, she could be there for Alex as she learned to navigate the world as an out queer woman.

But Alex was shaking her head and wiping at her eyes and turning away. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t fail again.”

“So I’m a failure?” 

“I didn’t say that,” Alex whispered, shaking her head, her eyes downcast.

“But that’s the implication,” Maggie countered.

“It’s fine for you! It’s different for me! It always has been.” She thought back to her childhood, to her mother pushing her. An A was never enough if she thought Alex hadn’t put in her full effort. Her surfing was fine, but couldn’t she also look at some of these other sports that Eliza was so sure she’d excel at? And then Kara came along, and Alex couldn’t compete. Because Kara was perfect and polite and wonderful and everything Alex could never hope to be, could never measure up to in her mother’s eyes. She couldn’t bear to see the vague sense of disappointment in her those eyes as she told her about yet another part of her life that didn’t line up with the master plan Eliza had envisioned for the perfect daughter of her dreams.

“So you’re saying I’m not worth it, not worth the risk.”

“I’m telling you that being with me isn’t worth it,” Alex corrected.

“That sounds a lot like a nicer way of saying the same shit.”

“Maggie, please,” Alex whimpered. “I’m sorry, I just, I can’t.”

“Fine, but I need time away first.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded, feeling like the situation was anything but.

“I’m gonna go.”

And Alex watched her best friend, the person she was fairly certain she had already fallen head over heels for, the woman who had kissed her and shown her what intimacy was supposed to feel like, walk out the door without a glance back.

\---

Days stretched into weeks as Alex waited for Maggie to pop her head back into her lab. Instead, she found a slightly confused James standing in her doorway every time the homicide team needed information, and she fed it to him begrudgingly, knowing it wasn’t her place to demand that Maggie get over it.

She stopped going to The Dirty Robber, unsure of what she would do if she were to run into Maggie there, unsure on how she would answer Megan’s questions about where her favorite duo had been these past few weeks.

She avoided Kara like the plague, knowing her sister had too many questions for which she had no answers. She basically blocked Lucy’s number to avoid the knowing text messages, surely based on information from Kara. She only stepped into the forensics lab when it was absolutely necessary, silencing Winn with a glare and shrugging off Lena’s comforting touches. She didn’t deserve comfort; she had fucked up and deserved whatever pain came with it.

At night, she drank just enough to put her to sleep, to earn her enough hours of rest to function the next day as though she were all there. And on weekends she drank a little more, finishing off the bottles of weird liqueurs and flavored vodkas purchased for parties and mixed drinks over the years because somehow if she wasn’t going out and buying new bottles, she felt like a little less of a disaster.

\---

Maggie spent the ensuing weeks in a pattern of self-hatred and remorse, as she drove herself to the edge at work everyday, then pushed herself nearly to the point of collapse in the gym before going home to shower, eat, and go back out before she could dwell on anything too long. She spent her nights in gay bars, picking up random women who looked nothing like Alex for a night of meaningless, barely satisfying sex that they both knew wouldn’t matter the next day.

She ignored the inquisitive looks she got from Commissioner J’onzz each time she shirked away from a crime scene with a body for Dr. Danvers to investigate. She shrugged off all of James’ questions about why he needed to go down to the autopsy lab when the sight of the bodies cut open on the table made him gag. She had a hand up before Megan could even ask about her partner each time she went into The Dirty Robber to pick up her lunch—always take out, never sitting there, never lingering in the place that was home to so many good memories now tainted with the sting of what came later.

\---

On one of the rare nights when Alex was drinking but not drunk, barely even tipsy, she decided to clean her apartment. Over the weeks, dishes had piled up in her sink and clothes in her hamper. Her sheets smelled like sweat and vodka and stale pizza, and her floor had a thin layer of crumbs strewn across it. At first, the cleaning was methodical, cleansing, as though she could purge her bad memories if she could make everything look like it was perfect. But when she did her laundry, she found Maggie’s clothes mixed in with her own. And when she cleaned out her fridge, she found Maggie’s vegan ice cream and some rotting vegetable that Maggie had surely been planning to force Alex to consume. And when she wriggled into her closet with a duster and a handheld vacuum, she found boxes of photos and old ticket stubs from her first few years in the city, too many of which reminded her of all the things she did with Maggie as they found themselves becoming best friends—maybe destined for more, though now they’d never know.

In an act of impulsivity, Alex had her phone in her hand before she could talk herself out of it. “I miss you,” she sent, followed quickly by: “I know I’m not the person you wanted me to be, and I’m sorry I’m not that strong or brave or whatever the fuck. But I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it, Mags. Please.”

After minutes of agonizing, deafening silence as she watched her phone, praying for it to buzz, maybe even praying for some undeliverable, bounce back message to pop up on her screen, her text alert chimed. “Dirty Robber tomorrow night.”

“See you then,” Alex sent back, feeling overjoyed at even being given the opportunity to return to some tense friendship with Maggie.

\---

Only, the next day Alex didn’t get to see Maggie, didn’t get to find out just how stilted and uncomfortable things would be over dinner. Instead, she found Commissioner J’onzz in her office when she returned to get her keys and bag.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, seeing the look in his eyes.

Never one to sugarcoat things—a fact for which Alex was eternally grateful—he shook his head. “There was an incident during one of our investigations. Detective Sawyer was shot by a suspect when she and Detective Olson showed up with a warrant for his arrest.”

Alex felt the air rushing out of her lungs and her field of vision narrowing as she struggled to stay upright, to breathe. “Where is she?” she forced out, gulping down lungfuls of air that were never enough.

“She’s at the hospital. The bullet didn’t hit any vital organs, and she’ll be okay, but she’s going to need stitches and plenty of rest. I though you might want to know.”

Alex was fairly certain she muttered a thank you, but she was too busy grabbing her things and rushing out of the office to really know. She couldn’t recall getting to the hospital, but suddenly she was hurtling though the doorway and demanding the receptionist’s attention. “Maggie Sawyer,” she panted, “where is she?”

“That information is confidential,” the receptionist explained.

“I’m a coworker. And family!” Alex yelled, needing to get to her best friend, to see for herself that she was still alive, still breathing, still Maggie.

“And what relation?”

“I’m her emergency contact,” Alex explained, hoping that was still the case, hoping that Maggie hadn’t immediately wiped out all traces of her influence, of the way their lives had wound themselves together over the years.

The receptionist asked her to wait, looking through the records as she pulled up Maggie’s file. “Alexandra Danvers?”

“Yes.” Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

“She’s still being treated, but then she’ll be moved to Room 311. We’ll let you know when you can visit her. In the meantime, I believe some of your other coworkers are sitting in the waiting room.”

“Thanks,” Alex nodded, making her way back to the waiting room and steeling her nerves.

When James caught sight of Alex, he was up and to her side in an instant. “She’s going to pull through, she’ll be just fine.” The reassurances were as much for himself as they were for Alex.

“What happened?” Alex asked. Because she needed more answers than a bullet to the arm.

“Someone must have tipped off our suspect because he was ready for us. He didn’t answer, but as soon as we kicked down the door, we were being shot at. Luckily we had on our Kevlar, since we both caught a few in the chest. We fired back, aiming just to wound, but he kept shooting after I thought he was down.” James looked chagrined and devastated. “I was on my knees after having the wind knocked out of me from a shot straight to the gut when he got off another round. Maggie shoved me out of the way, probably saving my life, but a bullet hit her arm.”

Alex wrapped her arms around James, pulling back when she felt him wince from what must have been the deep bruises scattered across his torso. “Did you get him?”

“We did,” James nodded, not elaborating. Now wasn’t the time.

“And Maggie?”

“I wrapped her arm as soon as I could and drove as fast as was safe to get her here. They admitted her right away, and that’s all I know. They promised me that she was okay, though.”

“They told me the same thing,” Alex confirmed, hoping those words meant something. Maggie had on her Kevlar vest, Alex repeated to herself, needing to remember that she was safe—nothing vital harmed—in order to stay grounded, to keep herself breathing and standing.

James helped guide Alex to the couch, and they sat side-by-side, holding one another and trying to help each other remember that it wasn’t their fault, that their partner, friend, colleague was going to live, was going to be just fine.

\---

Almost an hour later, a doctor appeared, pulling out her clipboard as James and Alex stood, the other agents and techs who had gathered all recognizing that they should be the first in to visit.

“Well?” James asked. “How is she?”

“She’s doing just fine. We removed the bullet fragments, applied an antiseptic, and stitched her back up. She’ll need a lot of rest and a course of antibiotics to keep her arm from getting infected, but she should be back on her feet without the use of that arm in just a day or two. It’ll be a few weeks on desk duty, though, until she can get back to a gym to work on rebuilding muscle in that arm.”

Alex grimaced and nodded, feeling her heart clench at the idea of some part, any part, no matter how small, of Maggie being damaged. “Can we see her?”

“She’s resting, but you can go see her in pairs,” the doctor nodded. “She’s in Room 311,” she added, watching as James took Alex’s hand and led her to the elevators.

\---

Alex bit back a sob at the sight of Maggie looking so very small and vulnerable, a blue knit blanket drawn across her chest and her left arm wrapped in a thick layer of gauze with an IV hooked into her other arm. “You can go first,” she whispered to James, seeing the stricken look on his face at the sight of his partner looking so unlike herself.

Alex sat outside in the hallway while she waited for James to say his few words, to sit with Maggie for a few minutes, watching her breathe, counting her heartbeats along with the monitor as a kind of constant reassurance that she was alive, here, okay.

When he had finished, he came out and tapped Alex on the shoulder. “Want me to stay?”

“No,” Alex muttered, “if it’s okay, I’d like a few minutes alone.”

“Sure, I’ll have the others wait for you to get back,” he nodded, giving Alex a small smile of encouragement as he squeezed her shoulder lightly.

After a few minutes of silent pacing, Alex finally settled in next to Maggie’s bed. “Hey,” she whispered, feeling the tears already starting to fall. She took Maggie’s hand in hers, stroking her thumb across it, feeling her heart rate slow slightly at the warmth of Maggie’s skin—the warmth that meant she was still alive.

“We missed dinner today,” she continued, her voice low and hoarse from the hours of crying and panicking. “Don’t worry, we’ll reschedule. I’m sure you’re not that worried. Because I’ve been terrible, so goddam terrible, Maggie Sawyer. Because do you know the truth? The truth is that I haven’t been able to forgive myself for the way I treated you that night. You know which night. Not that you can hear me…" She shook her head and forced herself to persevere. "I was awful. All I could think about was those men and my mother and every other asshole out there—not that my mom is an asshole, just, you know, mom issues or whatever Freud wants to call them—but I was so scared about what people would say that I didn’t think about how lucky I was to have even had a chance with you. Because you, Maggie, you are spectacular." Her voice cracked and she choked back sobs, unwilling to let them fall, unwilling to concede defeat. "And I was stupid enough to let you get away because…because why? Because our first kiss got interrupted by the first time we got catcalled, that’s what you said, right? But I ended our firsts over one bad one without even thinking about how good the other one was. And it was so much better. I want a lifetime of firsts with you, Maggie. I don’t want to have to spend the rest of my life regretting my choices, regretting being a coward and running away from the woman I like—no, I probably love you, and not just love you in the way we’ve always said I love you."

Alex dropped her head down to the side of the bed, gulping in deep breaths. It wasn't even the admission of love that scared her because deep down, she already knew it, had known it for quite some time. But the idea that it might be too late? Well that was something she couldn't deal with fathoming. 

"I want to have to tell Lucy that she was right as much as it pains me to admit it. I want to tell Kara and have her squeal and claim all the credit for us because she finally got me to schedule that dinner. I want James and Winn and Lena to all have to pay up to whichever person in the precinct had money on the actual time when we’d realize how perfect we are for each other. And I want to take you to The Dirty Robber and hold your hand and pretend I hate your gross vegan ice cream and kiss you no matter who’s watching. I want you to come home with me for holidays and make them so much more bearable. I want to kiss you under the mistletoe and when the ball drops and on Valentine’s Day and finally understand why people felt the need to make a hundred and one different holidays about love." She could feel tears streaming down her cheeks, but she knew wiping them away would be useless; they'd only fall again. "So don’t go dying on me, Maggie. I need you to pull through. I need to apologize and hope that one day you’ll be willing to give me a second chance even though I screwed up. I screwed up so badly. But I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” she finally finished, clutching Maggie’s hand between her own, her thumb resting right on the inside of Maggie’s wrist to feel her pulse beating alongside her own.

Maggie cracked open her eyes then, licking her lips to try to return some moisture to them. “I didn’t know you were such a sap, Danvers,” she rasped, a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth, even as she grimaced in pain.

“You’re awake!” Alex sobbed, her eyes racing over Maggie’s face to take in every detail of her expression.

“Yeah, I’m awake. And you’ve got quite the flair for the dramatic,” she teased, even as she paused to cough in the middle of it.

“I’m too happy at seeing you and hearing your voice to be embarrassed,” Alex admitted, her voice breaking on nearly every word.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed, Alex.”

“Really?” Alex checked, feeling hope rising in her chest.

“Yeah, really.”

“So, uh, you’re saying you like me?” Alex teased, pointing between the two of them.

“I believe you went ahead and jumped straight to love,” Maggie joked back wincing as she went to make the same gesture.

“Let’s get you hopped up on some pain meds so that we can have a proper first I love you later, huh?”

“Whatever you say, Danvers. Doesn’t matter how high you get me, I’m always gonna remember that you’re a big sap.”

To cover up the brilliant blush on her cheeks, Alex leaned over and chastely kissed Maggie on the lips. “For you? Yeah, sure, it doesn’t sound so bad.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first new chapter! I hope you all enjoy! Given how long the updates are, I think I'll stick to the promise of Sunday updates with the possibility of a shorter mid-week update (which is to say, I might be able to be talked into writing some first time smut for these two to go up on Tuesday or Wednesday, rather than making you wait for another week).
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented and subscribed! This is the first time I've had a fic with more subscriptions than kudos...I think that's good?

The next few weeks saw Maggie slowly but surely recovering and regaining mobility in her arm. The doctors and surgeons all agreed that she had been lucky; other than a shard or two that had gotten lodged in muscle, the bullet hadn’t done any major damage, which meant her recovery time was much shorter than it could have been. Of course, Commissioner J’onzz refused to take any chances and gave Maggie two weeks of paid leave, plus an addition three weeks of desk duty upon her return, much to her chagrin.

When she found out that Alex had willingly taken a few days off of work to take care of her during the first week, however, her mood improved significantly.

“You sure they’re okay without you?” Maggie had asked the first morning Alex refused to leave her apartment.

“Trust me, I’d be useless to them with how distracted I’d be, always worrying about you. What if you need something? What if you get hungry or thirsty?”

“Or I want a kiss?” Maggie flirted grinning up at Alex.

“Yes, I suppose a kiss is safe,” Alex relented, very gingerly pressing her lips to Maggie’s but pulling back the second the injured woman tried to lean forward.

“Alex,” Maggie whined, “I’m not broken!”

“No, but you’re injured.”

“And guess what would make me feel better?”

“Rest and elevation.”

“I never thought I would dislike dating a doctor this much,” Maggie grumbled, sinking further into the armchair Alex had set up next to a shelf for Maggie to elevate her arm above her heart.

“And yet you’d be so screwed if I weren’t here to change your bandages.”

“It’s just a little harder with only one working arm,” Maggie pouted.

“Exactly. Which is why I’m here and not at work. Plus, c’mon, let me earn some girlfriend points after literally bolting on you after our first kiss.” Alex looked chagrined at her past actions.

“I mean, was I confused and angry then? Yes. But we’ve gone over it. I get it. You can’t keep beating yourself up over it.”

“I guess,” Alex shrugged. “I just, I hate that it took almost losing you for me to admit how I felt.”

“Hey, hey, hey! First of all, it’s a bullet to the arm, not a fatal wound. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Second, I believe I got a string of text messages telling me how much you missed me and how you didn’t want to imagine your life without me in it. Now, call me crazy, but those don’t sound like platonic sentiments,” Maggie laughed. “And that was before the shooting.”

Alex rubbed at the back of her neck, blushing slightly. “Right, well, I suppose they’re a bit emotional for friends.”

“Mhm, just a bit. Whatever you say, Danvers.”

\---

After a few days, Alex went back to work, though she insisted that Maggie stay at her apartment, since it was much closer to the precinct and Alex could drop everything and be at Maggie’s side in mere minutes if need be. Maggie had objected until Alex reminded her that she had a bigger TV and a bigger bed, at which point she gave in and let Alex pack her comfiest clothes, her favorite DVDs, and her vegan ice cream into a small duffel bag and drive her back to the apartment.

Alex ended up actually taking both of her paid 15-minute breaks as well as a lunch break during her first two days back in the office to hurry back to her place and check in on Maggie, change her bandages, and get her any snacks, drinks, or medicines she might need. If Maggie were being honest, it was adorable and beyond sweet.

But come the second full week of forced rest, Maggie was bored. Sure, her arm was still sore, and she had to change her bandages, but she felt so much better than she had the first couple of days. She basically slept through the night at this point—Alex’s warm presence doing quite a lot to help fend off any nightmares or traumatic flashbacks—and she was almost through her full course of antibiotics.

With just two more weekdays off of work, Maggie tried to get Alex to bring her into the office. “Please,” she whined. “What if they need my help on a case?”

“They’re handling things, okay? What’s important is that you rest and get better! James has plenty of help from Kara.”

“Are there any new cases?”

“None that concern you,” Alex answered, kissing Maggie on the forehead and trying to tuck her back into bed.

“That means there is a new case! What is it? Just a hint.”

“You work in homicide, Mags. It’s a murder. It’s always a murder.” Alex tried to keep her voice even, but the victim had died of a gunshot, and even though the 6-foot-2, heavyset white man looked absolutely nothing like Maggie, she couldn’t help the way her heart ached at the thought that it could have been Maggie on her exam table. And that thought made Alex’s blood run cold, made her shake and tremble as her stomach roiled.

\---

During the autopsy she had completely frozen, one of the other doctors finally taking over for her, though it wasn’t until Kara came down and held her hand and guided Alex out of the lab and outside to the small courtyard that she finally broke down, letting out all of the tears that she’d been hiding from Maggie for days. Maggie was the one who got shot, who should be the one dealing with trauma, Alex chastised herself, yet here she was making it about herself.

Kara, however, was having none of it. “No, Alex, this is real. You’re allowed to be upset. I’ve barely even seen you since it happened. Are you okay? What happened?”

Alex swallowed heavily, wiping away her tears with her sleeves. “I’m okay. It’s just…I came so close to losing her. So close to losing her, and she wouldn’t have known how much she meant to me.” She blinked rapidly, willing the tears not to fall again.

“Yeah…” Kara paused, wondering how much of this story was appropriate to get now. “You really pushed me away for a few weeks there. Do you want to tell me what happened? You don’t have to, of course.”

Alex nodded, figuring it might be good to get it out—at least a very abridged version of it. “Um, well, we had the drinks. Like you suggested. And we talked, really talked, you know? And then she walked me home, and we kissed. And, Kara, it was perfect. It was like, like I was finally feeling all of those things you talked about feeling on your dates.” Kara smiled broadly at how happy Alex seemed.

Alex’s mouth twisted into a grimace, though, when she began talking again. “But then…these stupid fucking boys walked by, and they yelled at us. At first they were saying inappropriate sexual things, but when Maggie waved them off, they called us dykes. And I just, I couldn’t. I know that the world is getting better, that things have improved. But I just, I was weak and afraid and cowardly. I remembered growing up on the playground and hearing kids hurl around ‘gay’ and ‘lesbo’ and worse like they were the worst insults on the face of the planet. And all of the sudden, I could only imagine being the recipient of that kind of shit forever. And so I freaked out and ran.”

“By ran, you mean…?” Kara trailed off, a question in her eyes.

“I mean I literally ran inside, yelled sorry, and slammed the door on her. Because I’m the worst.”

Kara cringed, but she still wrapped her arms around Alex. “You’re not the worst. Those guys are the worst. The kids on the playground were the worst. Their parents were really the worst.”

“And you’re the best.”

“Mm, true,” Kara nodded, grinning at her big sister. “So then what happened?”

“Well, the next morning Maggie came over. I was very, very hungover. Remember to always do as I say and not as I do, got it?”

“Yes, mom.” Kara rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, we got into a big fight. I basically told her I couldn’t do it, even though all I wanted was her. I didn’t tell her that part. I just said I couldn’t be a disappointment, which then sounded like I was calling her a disappointment. It wasn’t good. Then we didn’t talk for weeks. Until finally the night before she got shot I texted her saying how much I missed her in my life. And she agreed to meet me the next night, but then, well, yeah…the next night didn’t happen,” Alex concluded, her voice cracking as tears stung her eyes.

“Oh, Alex.” Kara wrapped her arms reassuringly around Alex, holding her tight against her chest as she sobbed, finally letting go of the last of the memories that she hadn’t really processed aloud with anyone else. “So that’s where things are? It seems like you’re close again.”

“Oh, right,” Alex blushed. “Well, I rushed to the hospital. And when I was alone with her, I just broke down. I apologized and said a bunch of sappy stuff about how much I wanted to be with her, and I maybe kind of told her I loved her. Because I thought she was asleep! But, well, she had woken up at some point, I guess. And so she teased me a little, but then we kissed. And, yeah, that’s where I’ve been spending all of my time.”

“Alex!” Kara squealed. “This is a big deal! Why didn’t you tell me? No, wait, okay, I know why you didn’t tell me. You’ve been busy, duh. But still! How are things going?”

“They’re good. The first couple of days, she was pretty hopped up on pain meds, so we didn’t do too much deep talking,” Alex chuckled, thinking back to the way Maggie had waxed poetic about all sorts of absurd things. “But once she switched down to Advil, we finally dealt with a lot of the things that had gotten put on hold. And, I mean, we had sort of endless time to talk. I had taken off work, and she’s still not allowed back per J’onn’s orders, so we talked for hours. And I think we’re finally at a good point. I know I’m going to need to work hard moving forward to show her that I can be a couple outside of the safety of our apartments, but I’m willing to do it. And not just for her anymore, you know? Like, yeah, I adore her. I love her. But I also need to be able to own it for myself.”

Kara bit back a grin and just pulled Alex closer to her. “I’m so proud of you, you know that?”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t be here without you,” Alex admitted. Begrudgingly she added, “And I suppose I’ll have to somehow thank Lucy for making me angry enough to finally deal with it.”

Kara chuckled. “She is really sorry about all of that. She just, you know how she can be. I don’t think she’s ever gotten over that first heartbreak. And then having to help me through it with Siobhan, who I could have sworn was bi or pan or something!”

“But you’re totally over it now, right?” Alex teased, poking Kara in the side.

“Shush. You know how happy I am with Lena.”

“Yeah, you two are pretty disgustingly adorable.”

“Mhm, like you and Maggie aren’t?”

“We weren’t even dating then.”

“Yeah…okay. Tell that to everyone in the office who wanted to send you guys some anniversary cards. They were so far beyond betting on when you two would admit you were dating that they were betting on when you were getting engaged!”

\---

The night before Maggie was supposed to go back to the office found Alex pacing around her apartment, worriedly trying to convince Maggie that she didn’t need to go back to work yet if she wasn’t ready, even if it was only desk duty.

“Alex,” Maggie called out, intercepting Alex’s pacing and leading her to the couch with her good arm around her waist. “I promise, I’m ready to go back. In fact, it is going to be so healthy for me to go back to work and get off of this couch! I love how protective you are and how you’ve taken such good care of me these past two weeks, but I’m ready. I’m not even taking the maximum allowed dosage of Advil anymore, you know? And things are healing up nicely. You comment every time you change my bandages.”

“Yeah, but…what if something happens?”

“If something happens, you’ll be one floor down, and there are dozens of police officers running around ready to turn on their sirens and rush me to the doctor. But I promise, the worst that will happen is that I’ll die of boredom from an overdose on paperwork.”

“Don’t joke about dying,” Alex mumbled, her head buried into Maggie’s chest as she carefully avoided her left bicep.

“Fine,” Maggie relented. “But, Alex, you’ve gotta start treating me like Maggie again, please. I’m not just some fragile, broken patient. I’m your girlfriend, and that can mean things other than the person you care for, you know?”

Alex pulled back, looking at Maggie, letting her gaze drop to the other woman’s lips without berating herself for it for the first time since the shooting.

“Exactly,” Maggie nodded, not missing the gesture. She pulled Alex closer, leaning in until they were just an inch or two away. “You okay with this?”

“Are you?” Alex asked, still nervous about accidentally injuring Maggie.

Maggie answered with a kiss, her lips finding Alex’s as she sighed into the contact she’d been missing. Trying to move slowly enough not to startle Alex and rouse her protective instincts, Maggie gradually deepened the kiss, waiting several minutes before she dragged her teeth along Alex’s lower lip. Alex whimpered at the feeling but then pulled back looking guilty.

“Alex,” Maggie quickly reassured her, “it’s fine. It’s good, in fact. I want you to be into it. It’s fine if you aren’t into something, but it’s nice to see that you still want me.”

“But I shouldn’t be taking advantage of you when you’re all inured,” Alex protested.

“I really appreciate the concern, I do. But we’re two grown women in their 30s. I’m not a kid who can’t tell what is and isn’t good for me. At this point, it’s been almost two months since our first kiss. Two months of thinking about that kiss. Far longer than two months of feeling more for you than a friend should have. So trust me when I say that this is something I want. But if it’s not something you want—and maybe you’re not particularly sexual or not sexual at all—that’s fine! But if you’re only holding back out of some sense of guilt or propriety, I’m telling you that you don’t need to worry.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Alex mumbled, her cheeks a faint pink color. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, can we at least make out properly?” Maggie asked, earning an eager nod from Alex, who carefully pulled Maggie back in for a deep kiss, not really holding back this time around.

\---

The next day at work, Maggie was shuttled from appointment to appointment as all of the paperwork from her injury was finally processed and she had her mandated check-ins with the commissioner, the staff counselor, a doctor, and more, which left Alex alone for lunch. Being alone unfortunately left her mind free to drift, which it did, right back to the night before on the couch, then on the bed. Maggie’s lips and her touches had left Alex breathless and more than a little needy.

Obviously with Maggie staying over, she hadn’t taken care of herself over the past two weeks. And she was more than happy to simply care for Maggie, to help her rest and get better, but she also missed other things. Ever since she had admitted that she liked women, touching herself had gotten so much better. No longer was she trying to force some fantasy about her with a “dream man”; instead, she got to wonder about what sex with women would be like, what sex with Maggie would be like, whether it would be better than the rather mediocre sex she’d gotten used to in her years dating men.

Of course, thinking about sex with women outside of the context of her own bedroom left Alex not only turned on but also incredibly nervous. Would she be okay at it? Maggie clearly had a ton of experience, so how could she possibly measure up?

“Alex? You okay? You look a little…anxious,” Lena asked from the door to Alex’s office.

“Oh, uh, just fine. Sorry, just thinking about an ongoing case. What’s up? Can I help you?”

“Kara mentioned that Maggie was busy during lunch today. Then she and James got called away for a case, so that left Winn and I without our lunch buddies. I thought maybe you’d want to join us? We could all eat out in the courtyard, enjoy the beautiful weather, if you’re up for it.”

“Oh, um, yeah, okay. That sounds nice. Thanks for thinking of me,” Alex smiled, standing up and grabbing the sad peanut butter sandwich she had packed for herself, knowing that Maggie wouldn’t be around to go out with her.

“Perfect,” Lena declared. “I just need to pick up my lunch, and we can grab Winn.” They quickly made their way down the hallway and into the Forensic Science Division, where Lena retrieved a tupperware filled with something colorful and healthy looking before calling out to Winn: “Winn! Lunch time!”

Winn quickly poked his head out from behind a large monitor, his mouth stuffed with food. “Oh, are we eating away from our desks?”

“Yes, like civilized adults,” Lena teased. “Now put on your best Emily Post-approved behavior; we have company.”

“Right,” Winn nodded, blushing slightly as he caught sight of Alex. “How are you?”

“I’m alright, Schott. And you?”

“Oh, me? I’m, uh, I’m good. Great!”

“Alright, well come on great boy, I hear your boyfriend’s busy working a case.”

“Shh!” Winn hushed Alex. As they made their way to the back door leading to the courtyard, Winn hissed, “He is not my boyfriend!”

“Sorry, just your giant crush,” Lena teased, winking to show Winn that it was all in good fun.

“It’s not like he’s even into men!”

“How do you know that?” Lena asked. “This one said she wasn’t into women for 30 years, and now look at her! In a healthy lesbian relationship.”

“Wait, what?” Winn asked, dropping into one of the chairs outside. “Did you and Maggie finally make it official?”

Alex humphed. “I didn’t realize word traveled so quickly.”

“Shoot, sorry,” Lena apologized, looking chagrined for a moment but not particularly apologetic.

“It’s fine,” Alex dismissed Lena’s apology. “I can imagine Kara was too excited to keep her mouth shut.”

“Is anyone going to fill me in on the story?” Winn whined.

“You’re such a gossip,” Lena stated, pointing at him.

“Who, me? What? Never in my life have I been called such things,” he declared melodramatically.

“Yes, we’re dating, but I’d appreciate it if Maggie could have a few days back before the news gets to absolutely everyone,” Alex added, raising an eyebrow challengingly as she looked at Winn.

“Of course! Though, you know, everyone knows that she was staying at your apartment during the entirety of her recovery and that you, Ms. Workaholic, actually took every single one of your breaks to go see her, so it might be hard to convince people you’re not a thing. In fact, this news probably doesn’t even count as gossip, since so many people know.”

“Whatever,” Alex grumbled, angrily taking a bite of her sandwich. Lena chuckled as she speared a large leaf of kale and a tomato, popping them into her mouth in a move that was far too elegant to be fair. Wanting to move attention away from herself again, Alex pointed back at Winn. “Since you can dish so much, how about you talk about your own love life for a change.”

“Don’t have one,” Winn shrugged, popping a fruit snack into his mouth. “I spend all my time at work, and unlike you two, I’m not dating a coworker.”

“No, you’re just crushing on one,” Lena pointed out, popping another tomato into her mouth.

“Can you stop saying that? What if it freaks him out? You know he’s only dated women,” Winn explained.

“No, what we know is that he’s had a single girlfriend in his years on the force. And so have you, my little bisexual darling,” Lena added. “Lyra ringing any bells?”

“Don’t remind me,” Winn grumbled. “The sex was too good to break up with her when I should have.”

“Eww, don’t need to hear about baby brother’s sex life,” Alex gagged.

“Unless it’s with sexy Detective Olsen,” Lena amended, winking at Winn’s blush. “Then we want to hear all about it.”

“Aww, you think of me like family?” Winn asked Alex, choosing to ignore Lena’s comments.

“Whatever,” Alex shrugged. “Don’t turn it into a big thing.”

“Fine, but it’s forever in my heart,” Winn laughed, putting his hand to his chest. “But what about you? Anything you want to share with the group about your suddenly revived sex life?”

“Rude!” Alex retorted, blushing a faint red. “Besides, she’s been injured.”

“Yeah, but she’s running all around the precinct looking pretty healthy today. After Kara got beat up on the drug bust, sex was pretty much the first thing we did when she was well enough to move around without pain. Desperate, passionate, I’m so glad you’re alive sex.”

“That’s my little sister, Luthor,” Alex growled.

“And we’re all adults, Danvers,” Lena teased. Years in boarding school had pretty much taken away any sense of embarrassment she might have had about topics like sex, which ensured that she and Lucy got along fabulously. “So what I’m hearing is that you haven’t gotten any since Maggie got shot.”

“We didn’t do anything before she got shot,” Alex mumbled.

“Wait, what?” Lena looked shocked. “I thought you two were just avoiding each other at work for the sake of propriety. Were you two not hardcore nesting when you basically cut everyone out of your life for weeks?”

“Ask Kara,” Alex snapped.

“Sorry,” Lena said, looking truly guilty.

“No, sorry, I just, I don’t want to talk about it. Point is: we’re together now, but no, we haven’t had sex yet.”

“Well enjoy it when it happens,” Lena winked.

“Enjoy what when it happens?” Maggie asked, poking her head around the corner with J’onn.

“Commissioner J’onzz,” Alex greeted, standing up. She quickly looked over Maggie, trying to discern any signs of pain. “Maggie.”

“No need to be overly formal on my account,” J’onn added, sending a small smile in Alex’s direction. “I’m just seeing to it that Detective Sawyer takes a proper break on her first day back. But if she has dining companions, I’ll leave her in your very capable hands.” And with that, he was gone, probably off to skip his own break.

“What were you guys talking about?” Maggie asked, pulling up a chair with her good arm and sitting right next to Alex.

“Nothing!” Alex yelled at the same time that Lena grinned mischievously and answered, “You.”

“Aww, I’m nothing, Danvers? I’m hurt,” Maggie teased, dropping her head to Alex’s shoulder and finally feeling some of the tension she’d been carrying around for hours ease out of her body.

“No, of course not!” Alex rushed to correct. “I just thought now that you were here, maybe we should switch to less embarrassing topics.” She looked pointedly at Lena.

“There’s nothing embarrassing about not having sex,” Winn added with a shit-eating grin.

“You’d know,” Lena teased, earning an exaggerated glare from Winn.

“You are every reason I never wanted a little brother embodied in one person,” Alex grumbled, while Maggie just tilted her head, trying to figure out what she had missed.

“Nah, you definitely love having me around,” Winn declared happily, having been told by Kara that Alex actually didn’t hate him and rather respected his tech genius after one day when the older Danvers had been in a particularly bad mood and had taken a lot of it out on Winn, since they happened to be working together on a case.

“It’s touch and go,” Alex shrugged.

“I’ll take it!”

“So…why are we telling Alex it’s not embarrassing to not be having sex?” Maggie asked, still clearly missing how they had gotten to this point.

“It was just as much for Winn’s sake. Poor guy has the biggest crush on your partner,” Alex taunted, winking at Winn. If he were going to play the role of little brother, dammit, she would give it right back.

“Aww, that’s adorable,” Maggie smiled. “He is a handsome man.”

“Do I have competition?” Alex pouted.

“Not in a million years, Danvers.”

“You two are nauseatingly cute,” Lena pointed out, popping a strawberry into her mouth and offering some to the rest of the table. “Now, I should get back inside to work on the case. Come on, Winn, I could use a helping hand.”

“But we don’t have anything urgent,” Winn whined, acquiescing when he saw the pointed look Lena was giving him as she gestured at the couple. “Right, right. The case! I’m coming!”

Blushing at the obviousness of their friends, Alex looked back to Maggie. “How’s your morning been?”

“Eh, lots of paperwork and forms. Getting shot is a real pain in the ass.”

“Ah yes…the paperwork is the painful part of it,” Alex deadpanned.

“Second-most-painful part,” Maggie winked. “Want to tell me why they were all discussing your nonexistent sex life?”

“Oh, uh, nothing. Lena just assumed that you and I had already…you know, and I corrected her. That’s all.”

“Right…but, I mean, is it something you’re embarrassed about? Or did you decide that you aren’t into women that way?”

“What? No! Maggie, no,” Alex rushed to correct her girlfriend’s assumptions. “I just, I was awful, then you got shot, and I would hate myself if I hurt you more, so I know I’ve maybe been a little too gentle or careful with you, but, Mags, you have to know it’s coming from a place of love.”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded. “I was just…a little concerned,” she admitted. “I mean, other than last night, we’ve barely even kissed since getting together…again. I thought, I don’t know, maybe you really weren’t into women, but you didn’t want to leave me a second time, especially after I got shot.”

“No, trust me, Maggie, I am most definitely into women—specifically you.”

Maggie grinned but continued, needing to get everything out in the open: “And, just to put it out there, if you decide that you want to date women, me, but that sex just isn’t for you, we can find ways to make it work, you know? I don’t want to push something on you.”

“I appreciate the offer, but trust me, I am very, very interested in doing more than kissing with you. So interested. Like, it keeps me up at night levels of interested. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“And I appreciate that, but I feel a lot better physically. And to be honest, I suspect I’ll feel a lot better emotionally and psychologically if you go back to treating me like Maggie, your best friend who can be a little bit reckless and playful and fun, and not Detective Sawyer, who got shot and is now a patient.”

Alex worried her lower lip between her teeth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“No! Trust me, the fist week or so that was good! I needed someone to keep me in line, make sure I wasn’t gonna rip out my stitches or something. But now I would very much love some quality time with you as your girlfriend.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

“So maybe tonight we go back to your place, but you don’t immediately put on my pajamas and sit me down on the sofa?”

“But you’re so cute in the pjs…”

“I’ve been told I’m even cuter without them,” Maggie winked.

Blushing bright red, Alex ducked her head. “Yep, okay, we’ll continue this conversation when we’re not at work.”

"Looking forward to it, Danvers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites
> 
> Kudos and comments make me write faster ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the anon who asked, "Can we get some really soft but also passionate smut for detective/ME au? Bc these two have obviously been repressing a lot of strong feelings of love and sexual tension for so long and I think we all wanna read their first time," I hope you enjoy! Because to be honest, that's pretty much all this lengthy-ass chapter is. So enjoy some Sunday night smut, and I might see you all for a short mid-week update as I ease us into the first new "case" this precinct will handle.

Having been forced to stay late in the office to complete an autopsy for an urgent new case, Alex didn’t make it home until almost 8. As she unlocked the door, she was stunned to find that her apartment looked cleaner than it had that morning and smelled amazing.

“Maggie?” Alex called out, not seeing the other woman.

“Coming!” Maggie yelled, popping her head out from behind the bathroom door. “I just showered—hope you don’t mind.”

“No, no,” Alex replied absentmindedly, still looking at her apartment and trying to figure out why it looked so different. “Did you…did you clean?”

“Yeah, I mean, with my staying here and not really leaving the couch, it got a little messy, so I put away the stuff I’ve been using, then just did some vacuuming and dusting. Nothing much,” Maggie shrugged, making her way over to Alex.

Alex quickly took in Maggie’s appearance—her hair was still damp from the shower, and she had foregone any socks or shoes, but Alex’s eyes got stuck on the black tank top that showed off everything she had been dreaming about these past few week. She felt like her brain might have stopped working, and for the life of her she could not remember what she had been meaning to say. In fact, she couldn’t even remember what Maggie had said.

The corners of Maggie’s mouth curled up at the way Alex had frozen, her gaze falling distinctly lower than Maggie’s face. Maggie walked slowly across the room, not wanting to startle Alex but also wanting to seize on the moment, reward Alex for finally looking at her as something other than her minor gunshot wound victim. When she made it to Alex, she wrapped her hand around the back of Alex’s neck, guiding her down and kissing her softly. As Alex’s lips grew pliant under her own, Maggie deepened the kiss, pressing harder as she parted her lips slightly.

Alex’s head swam at the rush from the kiss, the rush of knowing that this gorgeous woman in front of her actually wanted her, wanted to touch her and kiss her, that she was allowed to return those sentiments. As her mind drifted to some of the other things she so desperately wanted, Alex found herself making a low noise and slipping her tongue into Maggie’s mouth, which earned her a small gasp from her girlfriend and teeth dragging across her lower lip as Maggie surged forward.

Trying to make sure Maggie’s enthusiasm didn’t knock them over, Alex pushed one leg forward, staggering her feet, and inadvertently pushing her thigh between Maggie’s legs.

“Fuck,” Maggie groaned, her eyes rolling back at the delicious friction she was suddenly getting. She dropped a hand down to Alex’s ass, urging her closer as Maggie let herself enjoy the feeling.

Gasping for air, Alex finally pulled back. “Are you, are you okay? Is this too much?”

“No,” Maggie shook her head. “It’s perfect.” After a moment’s consideration, she stepped back, though. “I did make dinner, since I figured you’d probably be hungry after such a long day at the office.”

“Maggie, you didn’t have to. You’re injured.”

“Alex,” Maggie said, her tone warning Alex not to push the “injured” line, “I made you dinner because I like cooking, and I like you. Lasagna is in the oven, and, to be honest, I’m hungry too. But after we eat, I want to go to your bed, and I want you to treat me however you’d treat a girlfriend, okay?”

“But I don’t know how to treat a girlfriend,” Alex admitted, her voice soft.

“Well, you’ve done a pretty spectacular job of it these past few weeks,” Maggie complimented her, needing Alex to see that she was perfectly capable of intimacy and love, that she wasn’t asking, let alone demanding, anything more of Alex. She could recall the late night calls to go out for drinks after the latest man-child told off Alex for not being caring enough or for not putting out or for insisting that her work came before him and his needs. Alex was so much better than them, Maggie thought; she deserved someone who would recognize and respect all that she brought to the table. “And if all you’re comfortable doing is kissing, that’s okay, but I’m telling you right now that I feel great, honestly, and I want you in any way you’ll have me.”

Biting her lower lip, Alex tried to look into Maggie’s gaze, her own eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I want you too, but…I don’t, I don’t know what to do, you know? And I would never forgive myself if I hurt you. And what if you decide you don’t want me afterward? I mean, I’m sure I won’t be any good…”

“Alex, hey, please listen to me,” Maggie pleaded, taking both of Alex’s hands in her own. “I don’t care if I come once or a dozen times or not at all, okay?” Alex flushed and looked up at Maggie incredulously. “I’m serious! That’s not the whole point of having sex. I want to have sex with you because I want to be close to you because sex can be about intimacy. I mean, not all sex is about that,” Maggie chuckled, knowing Alex was probably thinking back to the number of one night stands Maggie had talked about over the years. “But with you? That’s all I want. I want to share that kind of intimacy with you if you want it too.”

“I do,” Alex whispered.

“Great, and you can always change your mind,” Maggie reminded Alex, pausing to hold her gaze, wanting Alex to grasp the sincerity behind that statement.

“I know. I trust you.”

“Good, now let’s get some dinner, huh?”

“Yeah, alright. But since you cooked, how about you go sit down and let me worry about serving it. It’s the least I can do.”

“Okay,” Maggie shrugged. “Do you want me to get us drinks or anything?”

“No, just relax,” Alex instructed her, guiding Maggie to the table. “I’ll do everything else.”

Maggie finally relented, sliding down into the chair as Alex made her way across the kitchen, pulling the lasagna from the oven and plating two substantial portions, which she placed at the table. Wanting to get back to Maggie (and the food) quickly, Alex hurried back to the cabinets, grabbing two cups for water, as well as forks and knives.

“This smells amazing,” Alex gushed, finally settling down across from Maggie and handing the woman her own cup and set of utensils.

“Thanks, hopefully it tastes good too.”

“Please, I’ve eaten your cooking before,” Alex scoffed. “It’s never been anything less than amazing.”

“That’s not what you said about my tofurkey.”

“Okay, tofurkey is not food; it’s a travesty, Sawyer.” Alex felt herself relax as they fell into the easy back-and-forth she had so missed during their weeks apart.

“Whatever, your heart probably hates you.” 

“But my stomach adores me.” 

Maggie shook her head at Alex's playful wink. “Anyway, how was the rest of your day?”

“Eh, okay. New case, though I’m sure you already heard.”

“Actually, they won’t let me near the new cases,” Maggie grumbled. “They think I’ll try to do something stupid like go out into the field injured.”

“Because you would.”

“I wouldn’t go chasing someone…just go check out the evidence, you know?”

“Mags, look,” Alex sighed, “I know you’re a good detective, hell, you’re probably the best detective on the force, but right now I need you to trust your team to handle it. I want to see you buried in paperwork until you’ve made a full recovery, okay? Then I’ll handle my own worries because I know that going back in the field matters to you.”

Maggie smiled broadly, thinking back to all of the relationships that she couldn’t make work, to the girlfriends who had panicked when she’d gotten even slightly injured, refusing to recognize that going back into the field was her choice, not something being imposed upon her that they could fight together. “For you? I promise.”

“Good,” Alex nodded. “Now tell me, how goes the paperwork?”

“It’s terrible. It’s so bad that I’m actually happy when the damn precinct phone rings because it gives me another human to interact with, even when said human is batshit crazy telling me about this ghost that’s been haunting his attic and has now kidnapped his cat.”

“Sounds like…fun?”

“No, it’s awful, Danvers. You don’t have to lie to me.” Maggie grinned, popping a large bite of lasagna into her mouth.

“Fine, fine,” Alex relented, turning back to her food. The conversation shifted back to some of the TV shows Maggie had taken to watching during her two weeks of forced leave, and both women were pleased to find that there was no lingering awkwardness between them, that they had essentially shifted back to the same dynamic they enjoyed during their years as best friends, though now they both acknowledged the flirtiness without any guilt or confusion and enjoyed the added benefit of knowing that they could reach over the table to hold hands or let their legs tangle together or kiss one another if the urge struck.

When they finished eating, Maggie insisted on at least being allowed to help load the dishwasher to feel useful after so many weeks of letting Alex cater to her every need. She didn’t add that she was also desperate to get this portion of the night over with faster so that she and Alex could make their way back to Alex’s bed. She didn’t need sex, but god did she want it with Alex. She wanted to hear the little moans that Alex sometimes let out while they were kissing. She wanted to worship every inch of Alex’s body—every inch that drunk men had convinced her wasn’t completely and utterly perfect. She wanted to feel the press of hot skin against her own, to remember that they were both still alive, here, breathing.

“Did you, um, want dessert?” Alex asked, halfheartedly gesturing toward the freezer where she had stocked numerous cartons of Maggie’s vegan ice cream. Part of her desperately wanted Maggie to say yes, to give her a reason to keep stalling, to put off plunging into something unknown, something that half terrified her. But something deeper inside of her begged for Maggie to say no, to pull Alex to the bedroom and help her to get past the layers of fear and anxiety and insecurity because deeper there was exhilaration and excitement and, god, so much desire for this beautiful, perfect woman in front of her.

“I’m okay. But do you want something?” Maggie offered.

Taking a deep breath and willing her body to move, Alex stepped forward and into Maggie’s space. “This,” she whispered as her lips found Maggie’s. Her nerves calmed down when she felt Maggie smile into the kiss, tangling her fingers in Alex’s hair as she drew her closer. Alex let herself relax into the embrace as Maggie’s intensity shoved aside any other coherent thoughts for the time being. Letting instinct take over, Alex ran her hands up Maggie’s back, carefully avoiding the injury on Maggie’s left arm, even though she knew Maggie was set to begin working out and lifting weights with the precinct’s trainer the following day.

“Can we move to the bedroom?” Maggie asked, wanting Alex to be comfortable with everything first.

Biting her lip, Alex nodded, letting Maggie take her hand and guide her to her own bed—a bed they had shared so many times over the years but that suddenly seemed to take on infinitely greater significance.

Climbing into the bed, Maggie dropped to the mattress, guiding Alex up with her so that they were lying on their sides, facing one another. She smiled softly at Alex, flashing her signature dimples as her fingers brushed the hair out of Alex’s face. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied, her voice slightly breathier than usual. And honestly? Her heart was pounding, but she had never felt safer. Because no matter what happened, it was still Maggie—Maggie, who would never judge her for not being experienced enough or not doing something she wanted to do. It was still her best friend in bed next to her looking up at her with big brown eyes and a dazzling smile and lips that Alex decided she absolutely needed to taste again.

Maggie sighed into the kiss as Alex ran her tongue across Maggie’s lower lip, her fingers tangling in Maggie’s hair as she shuffled closer to the smaller woman. When Maggie hooked her leg over Alex’s hips to pull her even closer, Alex couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her lips or the way her hips rolled into Maggie’s, desperate for a closeness she’d never before craved.

Maggie tried not to overreact to the feeling of Alex bucking into her or the low, breathy noises filling the air around them, but it was everything she’d ever dreamed of and more. When she rolled her hips in time with Alex’s, Alex pushed more firmly back, carefully rolling Maggie onto her back as their legs tangled together.

“Trying to top me, Danvers?” Maggie teased, hoping her voice still sounded normal.

“Oh, uh, fuck, is that bad?” Alex asked, looking panicked until Maggie wrapped her right arm around Alex’s waist and held her in place.

“No, it most definitely is not a bad thing. I just, I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to take the lead, but we’re still just kissing.”

“Right,” Alex nodded, not feeling the need to mention that even though they were “just” kissing, she didn’t think she’d ever been this turned on or this wet in her life. Figuring it would be best to go back to the kissing, she dropped her head back down, capturing Maggie’s lips in a heated kiss. She eagerly parted her lips when Maggie’s tongue flicked across them, demanding entrance. With every twitch of her hips, she could feel their kiss getting wetter, sloppier, more frantic.

After some time, Maggie pulled back, panting for air. “Alex, I, uh,” Maggie stuttered, “if you don’t want me to come yet, I maybe need you to move your leg.”

Blushing, Alex quickly withdrew her leg, moving to sit next to Maggie. “Fuck, I’m sorry!”

“No! No, no! Definitely not a bad thing. I just, I don’t know how slowly we should be taking things. I know it’s your first time with a woman, and more importantly, it’s our first time together, and I just want to be there as best as I can for you. I want this to be whatever you want it to be.”

“I mean, it’s your first time too. With me, I mean. So it doesn’t have to be all about what I want…it can be what we want. Besides, you’re my best friend. No matter what we do, I’m going to feel safe and happy with you.”

Maggie tried to blink back the hot tears that stung at her eyes as Alex, with just a few words, managed to push aside any and all lingering doubt she might have had about whether she was forcing something on the woman. “You’re pretty perfect, Alex Danvers. Anyone ever told you that?”

“Only my teachers,” Alex winked.

“Nerd.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah, I do.”

They took a moment to just laugh side-by-side, feeling the pressure of making their first time perfect slowly dissipate.

“So, since I’m such a nerd, how about you teach me what to do?”

Maggie groaned at Alex’s words, wondering whether they were intentional or if Alex had accidentally tapped into one of her fantasies. Because even though Maggie had tried not to consciously fantasize about Alex when they were just friends, she definitely had a longstanding fantasy about helping to teach a beautiful woman, who may have looked an awful lot like her best friend, how to fuck, then making her come all night long. But as much as she would love to absolutely ravish Alex, that could come later; tonight she wanted to spend her time, to hold Alex and make love, if she were to use an expression she had scoffed at plenty over the past few years.

“Maybe we should start by taking some of the clothes off?” Maggie suggested.

“Right,” Alex nodded, looking slightly chagrined.

When Alex moved to unbutton her own shirt, Maggie stilled her hands. “Can I?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Alex dropped her hands to her side, watching as Maggie carefully unbuttoned each one, moving slowly as though she were savoring every inch of newly revealed skin. When she got to the bottom, she took a moment to enjoy the sight before pushing the shirt off of Alex’s shoulders and letting her pull it the rest of the way off.

“You’re beautiful,” Maggie whispered, tracing her fingertips across Alex’s pale skin and watching as a faint pink blush bloomed on Alex’s chest at her words. “Can this come off too?” Maggie asked, gesturing at Alex’s bra. When Alex nodded, she drew her arms around Alex’s chest and unhooked it, letting Alex take charge when it came to actually removing it. “So beautiful,” Maggie repeated, cupping Alex’s breasts with her hands and gently kneading at them, trying to figure out what Alex liked best.

“Can I, can yours come off too?” Alex asked, tugging at the hem of Maggie’s tank top.

“Oh, yeah!” Maggie nodded eagerly, hoping Alex hadn’t felt overly exposed while she still sat there in a shirt.

Being careful with the bandages on Maggie’s left arm, Alex maneuvered the shirt up and over Maggie’s head, biting back a whimper when she saw that Maggie wasn’t wearing a bra. Noting that Alex had frozen and didn’t seem to be moving, Maggie self-consciously crossed her arms across her chest. “Are you, um, are we taking this too fast?”

“No!” Alex nearly shouted. “God, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s just, well, if I wasn’t gay before, I definitely am now.”

Maggie burst out laughing, feeling all of the tension and anxiety rushing out of her body as she hugged Alex tightly, relishing in the press of warm skin. When they pulled back, Alex let her own hands drift to Maggie’s chest, gingerly palming at Maggie’s breasts as she tried to figure out what to do. “This feels sort of amazing,” Alex noted.

“You can be a little…firmer. You know, if you want to, like, pinch my nipples or something? That works. For me, at least.”

“Right,” Alex nodded, tentatively tugging at Maggie’s nipples and keening at the way that Maggie’s whole body seemed to arch into her touch, her nipples hardening beneath Alex’s fingers. Feeling bold, Alex dropped her mouth to one of Maggie’s breasts and sucked the hard nipple between her lips, letting her teeth graze lightly along it as she sucked.

“Fuck,” Maggie gasped, her hands tangling into Alex’s hair to hold her there. She could feel Alex grinning into her chest and couldn’t even bring herself to stop long enough to tease Alex about it. She could also feel herself soaking through her underwear and hoped the proof of her desire wouldn’t be too much for Alex.

Pulling back, Maggie took a turn lavishing the same attention on Alex’s breasts, wondering how she got this lucky. Alex let herself be guided back down to the mattress as Maggie moved to straddle her, her kisses trailing down Alex’s chest and across her abs, interspersed with small bites that had Alex moaning. She let her tongue dip below Alex’s waistband as she played with the limit the cloth seemed to present.

“You can take them off,” Alex whispered, hoping it wasn’t too soon.

“Yeah?” Maggie checked, getting an earnest nod in return. With a few quick movements, Alex’s pants were undone and being slid down her thighs with practiced ease. “Do you want mine to come off too?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. She popped open the button and slid down the zipper of Maggie’s jeans helping to push them over the curve of her ass and hips, but leaving Maggie to kick them the rest of the way off.

Once they were both left in their underwear, Maggie took a moment to drink in the sight of Alex Danvers sprawled across her bed—her cheeks and chest flushed, her lips slightly swollen, and her hair looking perfectly mussed. As her gaze dropped lower, she nearly growled at the noticeable wet patch soaking through Alex’s gray boyshorts. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to taste her.

Being careful with her arm, Maggie dropped down lower, kissing across the last article of clothing. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Alex sighed, hoping Maggie couldn’t tell how far past turned on she already was.

Maggie took her time, lavishing attention on Alex’s thighs, grinning with every buck and twitch of Alex’s hips beneath her careful ministrations. With each move from one thigh to the other, Maggie let her lips and hot breath ghost over the wet patch, drawing low groans and shivers from Alex. When it seemed like Alex was most definitely ready for more, Maggie dipped her fingers beneath the waistband. “Can these come off?”

“Only if you’re okay with it too,” Alex answered.

“God, you’re perfect,” Maggie chuckled, lifting up and pulling them down. When she noticed the nervous expression on Alex’s face, Maggie tamped down the anger she felt bubbling inside her at whomever made her feel ashamed about her body. “You’re so beautiful, Alex,” she murmured, as she kissed her way back to Alex’s center.

“Are you, um, are you sure? I mean, I don’t need that if you don’t want to, I don’t know,” Alex stammered. Just because she wanted it—and, fuck, did she want it—Maggie shouldn’t feel obligated.

“Alex, trust me, there is nothing I want more than to taste you if it’s okay with you.”

“I trust you,” Alex nodded, watching as Maggie carefully, reverently, hooked her hands under her thighs and licked long and slow up the length of her sex. She felt like she was seconds away from coming undone at the mere sight, and then Maggie was teasing at her folds and lapping up the arousal and moaning as though there was nowhere she’d rather be than between Alex’s legs.

Maggie tentatively flicked her tongue across Alex’s clit, causing the woman to shudder almost violently. She quickly pulled back. “Hey, was that good or bad? I mean, I know not everyone likes direct stimulation. What works best for you?”

Alex just looked overwhelmed. “It was…it was good. Really good. Um, I don’t know what I like, just, I guess, whatever works for you?”

Maggie fought the urge to roll her eyes, knowing Alex would think it was about her and not about a society that tells women to be grateful for whatever some guy is willing to give them when it comes to their pleasure. “I’m going to try a few different things, okay? Can you just be vocal for me? And please be honest. I promise my feelings won’t be hurt if you don’t like something.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded. Relaxing into the pillows as Maggie resumed the long, slow licks she had begun with before returning to her clit. She shuddered as Maggie flicked her tongue quickly across her clit, then moaned loud and low as the woman switched to circling her clit with her tongue. She let out a string of obscenities and grabbed at Maggie’s hair when the woman gently sucked her clit between her lips, but squirmed away when Maggie experimentally let her teeth lightly drag against the sensitive nub.

“Sorry! Won’t do that again,” Maggie apologized, switching back to pay attention to Alex’s entrance to give her clit a moment or two of rest. She moaned at the taste of Alex’s arousal spilling onto her tongue. “You taste so fucking good,” Maggie moaned, noting the way Alex’s whole body seemed to respond to her words—whether to the praise or the light dirty talk, she’d have to figure it out later.

Figuring she’d left Alex on the edge long enough, Maggie brought her tongue back up to Alex’s clit, sucking the hard nub between her lips and circling it with her tongue, trying to keep a steady rhythm as Alex’s hips bucked into her mouth.

Alex swore she’d never felt anything as perfect as this moment. At first she had worried about taking too long, but it seemed like Maggie was genuinely enjoying the experience and even trying to prolong it, so Alex let herself relax as much as she could when her muscles were constantly tensing as every flick of Maggie’s tongue seemed ready to push her over the edge.

When she finally did come, it was with a loud gasp, her whole body shuddering as her eyes slammed shut. She could have sworn she nearly blacked out, and when she came to again, both of her hands were still tangled in Maggie’s hair, and Maggie’s tongue was lapping at her entrance, helping her shudder through the tail end of her orgasm.

“That was…amazing,” Alex finally managed.

“That’s just the beginning,” Maggie smirked, pulling herself back up the bed and kissing Alex soundly as she dropped to the mattress next to her.

After a few minutes of cuddling, Maggie felt Alex’s fingers trailing down her stomach, tracing the dips and curves of her abs before dropping down to the waistband of her own underwear. “Can I, uh, is there anything I can try for you?”

“If you want to, yeah, definitely.”

“I do,” Alex nodded eagerly, sitting up and positioning herself between Maggie’s legs. “Can I take these off?” Maggie nodded her head, lifting her hips to make it easier for Alex. She could feel the way her arousal stuck to her underwear and was grateful when Alex didn’t seem to mind or notice. “You’re…it’s pretty, you know?”

Maggie blushed, ducking her head down. “Thanks.”

“I’m serious,” Alex said adamantly. She let her fingers brush through the short, dark curls between Maggie’s legs, causing Maggie to shudder. “You’re wet,” Alex noted when let her fingers run up the length of Maggie’s pussy. She sounded almost incredulous, as though she didn’t understand why Maggie would be wet yet.

“I just got to touch you, and we’ve been making out all night. I’ve been wet for hours.”

Alex smiled broadly at the news. “So, uh, what do you like?”

A whole litany of possible acts ran through Maggie’s head, but she tried to focus on what was good to mention for a first time. “Uhm, I mean, I also enjoy oral, but I can see that seeming a bit…intimidating for your first time. If you want to fuck me with your fingers, I’d like that too. Your nails are short, right?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “I did, you know, read a little bit in advance of tonight.”

“You’re wonderful,” Maggie chuckled.

“Just wanted to be as prepared as I could be.” Alex shrugged, looking down at the few threads that had been pulled loose from her comforter over the years. “So, uh, one finger? Or two?”

“Let’s start with one.”

Alex nodded. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Alex let her finger trail through Maggie’s arousal before sliding inside her. It was hot and wet and felt so much more intimate than Alex had expected. She tried to think about what she liked and began with a slow pace, carefully sliding her finger in and out of Maggie’s pussy, watching for any reactions that would indicate whether or not she was doing it right.

“If you want to, um, hook your finger forward a little? Maybe add a second finger,” Maggie suggested, glad to see that Alex looked happy at receiving the tips, rather than offended. She dropped her head back down to the pillow, moaning as Alex put her advice to good use. “That’s good, really good,” Maggie praised, noting the way that Alex seemed to preen at her words—something to explore another day.

Alex relished in the noises Maggie was making with every thrust, watching the way her tongue came out to lick her lips and the way her face contorted in pleasure whenever Alex did something she really liked. Thinking back to what she liked doing to herself and to some of the articles she had read, Alex figured Maggie probably needed something on her clit to help her come. Steeling her nerves about this being her first time, Alex lowered her head, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Maggie’s abs that had the woman beneath her gasping and arching up into her touch. She moved lower with each kiss, eventually making it to Maggie’s hair before dropping down to where her hand was working. Tentatively, she licked up from her finger across the small bump she figured was Maggie’s clit, especially given the reaction it evoked.

“Fuck,” Maggie groaned, feeling her whole body shudder. “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Alex reassured her, licking harder. “What do you like?”

“Circles, circles are really good,” Maggie panted.

Once Alex seemed to get into a rhythm with her tongue, guided by Maggie’s commentary, she resumed her attention with her fingers, feeling slightly guilty for having basically forgotten them while she figured out the other side of things. As her fingers dragged down Maggie’s front wall and her tongue flicked around Maggie’s clit, Maggie let out a loud moan as her fingers grabbed at the sheets.

“Please, please don’t stop,” Maggie gasped, her hips bucking up into Alex’s mouth and hand. With a particularly well-placed thrust, Maggie felt herself hurtling over the edge, clenching around Alex’s fingers as her hand flew down to the back of Alex’s head to hold her there as she rode out her orgasm. With a final full-body shudder, she dropped back down to the mattress, sweaty and spent. “That was, that was really good.”

“Yeah?” Alex checked, carefully drawing her fingers out of Maggie’s pussy.

“Yes,” Maggie confirmed, whimpering when she caught sight of Alex licking Maggie’s arousal off of her fingers. “You’re going to be the death of me,” Maggie laughed.

“But it’ll be a fun death, right?”

“The best kind.” Maggie gently pulled Alex up to cuddle, holding her close as she lowered her head to rest on Alex’s chest. After several minutes of silence, of listening to Alex’s heart rate slow down, Maggie lifted her head. “How was that…for you? You doing alright?”

“I really am. Thanks for asking, though. And you? No pain? No regret?”

“I am never going to regret a minute we spend together, Alex. And no pain, I promise. I mean, sore, sure, but that’s the usual these days.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded, grinning at her girlfriend. Her grin quickly gave way to an open-mouthed gasp as Maggie’s fingers found their way back between her legs.

“I figured, I didn’t really get to fuck you with my fingers…if that’s something you might like.”

“It…it is,” Alex nodded. “But you look tired. And you have to be up for work tomorrow.”

“Mmm…I bet J’onn would be only too happy to see me voluntarily taking a couple hours of leave in the morning.”

“You know, I’ve got weeks of sick leave just built up…maybe I’m not feeling too well tomorrow morning.” Alex faked a cough. “Could be the black lung.”

“You’re absurd, Danvers,” Maggie laughed loudly. “But I think I like the sound of getting you all to myself.” Alex smiled at the idea, knowing she’d get a ton of shit for it from Lena and Winn but suspecting it would absolutely be worth it. And when Maggie gently slid a finger into her, curling it upward as her thumb came to rest on her clit, Alex did more than suspect—she knew it would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short. I was going to keep writing, but, truth be told, I scared myself trying to imagine different serial killers/getting scared by my own reflection in the mirror. (This is probably not the best genre for me to write.)  
> Good news: I figured out the murderer, MO, backstory, etc. and there'll be another short update coming probably on Wednesday (that will also include some fluff, hopefully). Bad news: my girlfriend has taken away my computer because she doesn't want to stay up with me all night while I worry about serial killers. Sooo....blame her if you must :)

Alex felt like she was on cloud 9 as she strolled into work the following day, not even upset at having used a few hours of sick leave for a morning spent cuddling and kissing and eating breakfast in bed and eating…other things in bed. J’onn had been only too happy to grant her a few hours of leave, though she suspected he didn’t buy the excuse about her feeling under the weather, even if her excuse about having to drop Maggie off with the physical therapist was true.

As she strolled through the bullpen, waving pleasantly at all of the detectives as they walked by her and ignoring their shocked expressions, she caught sight of Kara making her way toward the stairs down to her lab. Jogging to catch up with her, Alex yelled out, “Hey!”

“Hi,” Kara waved back.

“Hi,” Alex added, sounding a bit breathless as she beamed at Kara.

“Hi?” Kara asked, arching her eyebrows as she looked more closely at Alex.

Looking slightly apprehensive, Alex asked, “What?”

Dragging Alex down to her office to have a bit of privacy, Kara teased, “Look at you!”

“What?” Alex repeated.

“Are you kidding? You look like you’ve been shot with a love ray,” Kara grinned, noting the way Alex seemed…lighter, younger almost. She looked genuinely happy.

“What? Pfft,” Alex scoffed, barely able to hold the façade before she grinned and bumped into her sister. Looking around to make sure none of the other officers were around, nor any of the med techs, Alex leaned in to Kara, dropping her voice: “Maggie…Maggie, uh, slept over last night.”

“She has been every night, right?” Kara asked, looking slightly confused.

“No, but, um, I mean, you know…Maggie spent the night in my bed…not sleeping.”

“Oh! Oh my, oh my gosh!” Kara squealed, smiling broadly at the way Alex looked completely elated, blushing in a way she didn’t think she’d ever seen Alex blush. It was so different from the weekend brunches they’d had during Alex’s years in med school when she’d noted the way Alex still reeked of booze and could barely hold her head up while gulping down coffee. Back then, Alex had wrinkled her nose when asked about the men in her life, briefly mentioning whatever unremarkable man she’d gone home with (when she even admitted it to Kara; more often than not, Kara only heard the stories second-hand through Lucy).

“Do you think…do you think everyone can tell?” Alex hissed.

At that moment, Winn walked into Alex’s lab, clutching one of the reports their offices had been working on together. “What’s going on with your face?” he asked, speaking before he could think about using a filter to determine what was and wasn’t appropriate to say to Alex.

“Excuse me, Schott?” Alex growled, though it wasn’t nearly as convincing when the corners of her mouth kept turning up against her will.

“Is that…is that a smile? A genuine smile? In the workplace? Oh my god! You took our conversation to heart, didn’t you?” he squealed.

“Shut up! Leave the report and speak of this to no one.”

“Oh, I’m telling Lena. I’m definitely telling Lena.” 

“Too late!” Kara teased, sticking out her tongue. “I already texted her.”

“What the hell?” Alex demanded, rounding on her sister.

“Isn’t it better that I told her than Winn?”

“Fine.” Still grumbling, Alex flicked her hand at Winn. “Now get out of here so I can talk to my sister without your prying eyes and ears.”

“Whatever. I already know that Dr. Danvers turns into a puddle of mush after a night with her girlfriend.”

Alex rolled her eyes as Winn left, at least having the decency to shut the door behind himself.

“So how was it?” Kara squealed.

“Do you really want to know?” Alex knew over the years they’d talked about some things, especially when they were younger and both curious about what their friends were and weren’t yet doing, but in recent years, they really hadn’t. Alex knew that part of that reluctance to talk had to do with all of the shame she felt for not being able to feel anything with the men she dragged home, but they were still sisters, and she didn’t want to overshare just because she now had something worth sharing.

“I don’t want all the details, duh. But, ya know, you’re happy?”

“So happy,” Alex gushed. “Kara…it was amazing. I mean, it felt like, like, everything finally clicked for me, you know? Like, for so many years I thought I was just broken, but then there’s a reason and a solution, and everything just…fits. And Maggie was so sweet and caring and perfect. It was like how first times are supposed to happen in the movies that I make fun of you for watching.”

“They’re fine movies,” Kara grumbled.

“They’re not,” Alex laughed, shaking her head. “But they almost felt a little true last night.”

“I’m happy for you. Really.”

“Thanks. And thanks for…I don’t know, putting up with all of my shit. I know I wasn’t the most pleasant person to deal with these past few months.”

“You’re still my sister, and I love you no matter what.” Kara paused, then grinned. “But you definitely owe me a few movie nights where I get to pick both the food _and_ the movie.”

“Ugh, it’s gonna be all romcoms, isn’t it?”

“Definitely. But now I can throw in some proper lesbian cinema too—not that there’s a lot of it—and not feel guilty for forcing it on you.”

“Now it’s more like…educating me.”

“Exactly.”

Before they could talk at greater length, Alex’s phone rang with the specific ringtone she’d assigned to the station.

“Danvers,” she answered, nodding along as she listened.

“New case?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, I should head down there.”

“Alright, well, I may well end up seeing you out there what with Maggie’s whole being benched for the next couple of weeks.”

“Right, right. Stay safe, little sis.”

“You too,” Kara added.

“Please, the only people I interact with in my job are already dead.”

\---

As Alex crouched over the dead body found down by the docks, she found herself listening for the familiar sound of Maggie’s voice, for the incessant questions about what the cause of death might be, whether she could speculate, what kind of murder weapon they were looking for. But instead she was met with silent. And no matter how much shit she used to give Maggie for the annoying chatter, the silence was disconcerting.

James, nauseated by the mere sight of Alex working on the dead body, wouldn’t come anywhere near her, which left Alex to work in peace. But her peace was shortlived, as she found marks across the victim’s neck and torso that were too similar…but there was no way…was there?

Pulling her phone out, Alex quickly dialed the Commissioner’s number. “J’onn?”

“Doctor Danvers?” J’onn’s voice crackled through the line.

“I don’t know how, but I think the Surgeon is back.”

There was a long pause. “Are you sure?” he asked, his tone clipped.

“The incision marks are all here. The injection in the neck. All of his calling cards. I suspect I’ll find the same drugs in the victim’s system when I get back to the lab.”

J’onn sighed heavily. “You know Detective Sawyer isn’t going to sit this one out, right?”

Worrying her lip between her teeth, Alex nodded. “I know,” she whispered.

“We’ll keep her safe. Together,” J’onn promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	12. Chapter 12

Alex paced around her lab, waiting to get the toxicology reports back from Lena. She’d performed her own autopsy precisely, methodically, trying desperately not to let her mind drift back to the first time the Surgeon made his rounds. But every time she blinked, every time she let her attention fall out of focus for even a moment, she was hit with crime scene after crime scene, victim after victim, getting Maggie back covered in the Surgeon’s markings, the signs that they’d nearly been too late.

“Dr. Danvers.” J’onn’s voice came from the doorway.

“Yes, sir?”

“Do you have confirmation on the cause of death?” he asked, desperately wanting to hear that something was different, that it was someone else, that there were merely similarities.

“Lena’s running the toxicology tests now. But so far everything else…matches.”

He nodded grimly. “Do you mind if I wait here for the results?” He remembered how shaken the young ME had been during the Surgeon’s run through National City. The whole city had been, of course, but she seemed to take it particularly hard. When the killer had gone after Detective Sawyer, J’onn had never seen Alex quite so distraught, quite so angry at herself for not being out in the field, for not being there to prevent it.

“Uh, no, that’s fine.” Alex didn’t add that she was relieved to have company, to have someone to keep her thoughts in the present moment, to distract from the memories and the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her.

“So…how is Detective Sawyer doing?”

“She’s great,” Alex gushed. Then, realizing he probably wanted to know about the injury, she cleared her throat. “I mean, yeah, she’s definitely doing better. Physically and mentally. I think she’s glad to be back at work, though I suspect this case will throw her.” It had already thrown Alex—that much was clear.

“Good, good. We’ll be here with whatever support she needs during this investigation, though I won’t jump to conclusions before the toxicology report comes back.”

“Right, sorry. Didn’t mean to assume.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ve seen your work; I don’t think anyone would accuse you of being too hasty with your assumptions about the cause of death,” he chuckled, though Alex just shrugged, looking slightly chagrined. “But you and Detective Sawyer are doing better?”

Alex blushed and stammered. “I, uh, do you, um, follow office gossip?”

Biting back a smile, J’onn explained, “I like to know what goes on in my precinct, yes. But I also know you, Alex. Have known you since your days in medical school. I can see when you’re miserable, then when you’re suddenly grinning at all of my officers—confusing them half to death,” he added with a wink.

“Ah, right. Um, yes, we’re, uh, doing well.”

“That’s excellent. You two will both need to visit Pam in HR, of course.”

“Ugh, seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. And please do it sooner rather than later.”

“Fine,” Alex relented. Even though they didn’t act like it at work, she thought of J’onn in a mentor-meets-parent sort of way, and she wouldn’t want to disappoint him.

“Alex?” Lena called from the doorway. “I have the toxicology results.”

“Ah, right, thanks.” Alex took them with slightly trembling fingers. She quickly thumbed through the pages of the report Lena had prepared, finding the words that made her freeze up, too many awful memories racing through her head to focus, to be present. But then J’onn was by her side, carefully taking the folder from her and guiding her toward her chair, quietly dismissing Lena, who was too young to know what it had been like living in National City, working at the NCPD, while the Surgeon remained at large.

“Alex, can you stay with me?” he asked, his voice deep and soothing. “We’ll get whomever this is.”

“Is it him?” Alex managed, proud when her voice didn’t crack.

“No,” J’onn answered, shaking his head resolutely. “After I got your call, I checked. He’s still locked up in a maximum security prison.”

“Okay,” Alex nodded. A copycat killer didn’t exactly calm her, but it was still better than having the Surgeon back.

\---

“What do you mean the Surgeon’s back?” Maggie yelled, pacing across J'onn's office. “Why was I not informed?”

“Please sit back down, Detective,” J’onn instructed her, gesturing at the chair across from his desk.

With a huff of annoyance, Maggie threw herself back down in the seat, willing herself to stay angry, to stay frustrated, because she knew that the second she let those feelings go, she’d end up falling apart, becoming that scared officer she was four years ago, locked in the Surgeon’s basement, convinced her team would never find her again.

“First of all, it is not the Surgeon himself. Brandon is still in prison serving his three consecutive life sentences. He has not been allowed to leave. There are no pending appeals.”

“Okay.” Maggie nodded, her gut still twisting uncomfortably.

“Second, there were no attempts to deceive you or hide the news from you. We had suspicions, but the cause of death was only determined this afternoon. You were, by no means, the last to know. But I would like to remind you that you are still on desk duty for medical reasons.”

“I’m not sitting this case out,” Maggie growled. “I let that sick bastard get to me once; he doesn’t win a second time.”

“And how will your putting yourself in the line of fire while injured and unable to properly defend yourself get back at a man rotting in prison?” J’onn challenged.

“Who are you gonna send out to deal with whatever demented copycat he has working for him? Kara? You want to see her still waking up drenched in sweat from the memories four years from now? You want her to have to hear his voice echoing in her head, telling her she wasn’t good enough to save all those victims? She doesn’t deserve it. None of them do.”

“But you do?”

“At least it won’t be anything new,” she replied defiantly, standing up and, with a curt nod of her head, walking out of J’onn’s office. She stopped by her desk to grab her coat and keys, figuring it was only 10 minutes until she could leave—not like the paperwork and old case files were going anywhere.

\---

“What the hell, Sawyer?” Alex yelled, grabbing Maggie’s coat and yanking her back so hard she nearly stumbled.

“What the hell, yourself!” Maggie pulled her jacket back around her and resumed her path down the street.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Out.”

“Out where?”

“Look, I can’t sit around there and watch everyone else busy themselves working a case I know better than anyone while they force me to sit on the sidelines and watch, whispering around me, telling my story to the new kids like some kind of campfire ghost tale.”

“Instead you’re gonna put yourself in danger by walking home alone when we don’t know what sort of psychopath murderer is roaming the streets?” Alex demanded, just barely holding back the tears that threatened to burst forth.

“We can’t live in fear,” Maggie growled. “It’s daylight. I should be allowed to walk home from work without having to worry that I’m going to end up kidnapped and drugged and nearly killed again. ’Cause if I don’t? Then he wins.”

“Wins what, Mags? He’s in prison. He’s already lost! You know who loses now? Me. And maybe you. We’re just starting. And I already almost lost you once. I don’t—I can’t lose you now. I can’t. I already…he already almost…I can’t,” Alex sobbed.

Looking over and trying hard not to cry, Maggie pulled Alex close to her, mumbling, “I’m sorry,” over and over again. “I just, I didn’t think about you.”

“I can’t lose you,” Alex repeated, her voice cracking as she cried freely into Maggie’s shoulder. “Please, please let me walk you back to my place?”

“Okay,” Maggie finally conceded, wrapping her non-sore arm protectively around Alex for the duration of the walk.

When they got home, Alex called Kara to let her know that she wouldn’t be coming back to the office tonight but to text her if they needed something or if anything new came in.

“So…comfort food?” Alex asked.

“Yes, please,” Maggie sighed, more than willing to give up on the idea of getting Alex to consume a well-balanced meal on a night like tonight.

They worked side-by-side—Maggie making two grilled cheeses as Alex heated up a can of tomato soup on the other burner. When the food was ready, they already knew they’d end up eating on the couch; tonight wasn’t a formal eat-at-the-table meal kind of night. For a few minutes, they ate in silence, shoulders bumping together and small smiles flitting between them.

After a while, Alex began to speak, her voice quiet but steady. “When the Surgeon, you know, four years ago…that’s, uh, that’s when I realized you had become my best friend. That I loved you—you know, as a friend, I thought.”

“When he had me down there, when I was so convinced, so fucking sure, that I was going to die…I really only thought about you. I mean, fear, sure, but when I was thinking about what I’d miss? It was you.”

“Surely you’d miss other people.”

“Who? I mean, I have friends, yeah, but it’s different with them. We’re friends without sharing everything, if that makes sense. But with you, for some reason, I’d let all of my walls down. You know about my family. You know the ways I've doubted myself, wondered if I deserved to be a detective. You were there for me when my parents called me again and through all of the breakups and stupid decisions. So, yeah, Alex, you were the one person I’d really miss.”

“I wanted to go into the field for you,” Alex whispered. “I mean, other than J’onn, you’re the only one that knows that I pass the qualifying exam every year just in case—for Kara, sure, but also for you. I had always felt like the work I did in the lab was enough, you know. But when you went missing? I couldn’t be doing enough; nothing was enough until we had you home, until I saw you again, held you again.”

“You were really gay,” Maggie sniffled, trying to hide just how profoundly touched she was that Alex thought her life so worthy of saving, of cherishing.

“Yeah, still am, as a matter of fact,” Alex laughed, “which is precisely why I don’t need you rushing out there and doing something stupid. Because I love you, and it would suck to have to think of the last thing you did as being something so dumb.”

Maggie let out a watery chuckle before looking serious again. “I won’t go out in the field for now, but I have to at least help with the case from the office. I’m not going to sit around re-sorting evidence from cold cases that haven’t been touched in decades while my team is in danger.”

“Fine,” Alex conceded. “But I just…you’ll talk to someone if you need to, right?”

“For you? Yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank you,” Alex whispered. Trying to lighten the mood again she teased, “Maybe I should reward you for that…”

“Mmm, I think that could be quite the incentive,” Maggie murmured, her lips already seeking Alex’s out.

“Take me to bed?”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff to start out with before the heavier emotional, case-related material with some smut that snuck on in there in between (not particularly graphic, but still what I'd call nsfw)

“This sucks,” Alex texted Maggie as they both sat through the interactive video quiz on workplace relationships and sexual harassment on separate computers.

“Shh! Pay attention before Pam comes back,” Maggie sent back, shaking her head at Alex’s antics.

“They haven’t said anything yet about sex in the workplace…”

“You literally just came out, and you already want to bang me in front of all of our colleagues?”

“Ironically, I thought maybe in one of the bigger closets.” Alex grinned as she heard Maggie cackling from one of the other cubicles.

“Are you through?” Pam’s voice echoed through the room.

“Almost,” Alex called back.

“Then no talking,” Pam instructed, looking between the two women and trying to appear stern.

“Way to get us in trouble,” Maggie texted Alex.

“Please, your laughing got us in trouble. Duh.”

Maggie didn’t deign to respond to that, focusing all of her attention instead on the screen in front of her, determined to get back up to the bullpen and hear if there were any new updates on the case—not that they’d been too open about it in front of her. After getting back her passing score on the final test, Maggie called out to Pam, “I’m done now! Am I good to leave?”

“I’m done too!” Alex yelled, not willing to be outdone on any kind of test.

“Let me just look,” Pam explained, walking from one computer to the next to verify that they had both completed and passed the exam. “Okay, you’ve both taken the course and signed off on the necessary paperwork, so you’re set. Please remember to use common sense and be kind and courteous to one another and to your coworkers.”

“Always.” Maggie grinned.

“Wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise,” Alex agreed.

Pam just rolled her eyes, but let them go, knowing they wouldn’t listen to anything else she said. They were, for the most part, good kids, and she’d been at NCPD for long enough to know which relationships worked and which ones didn’t—and those two, they seemed like they were built to last.

“Want to get lunch together at the Dirty Robber?” Alex asked Maggie before she headed downstairs to her lab.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Maggie nodded, smiling at Alex and wishing she could just kiss her, but unfortunately that would have to wait for lunch. She headed back toward her desk, listening in on all of the conversations she passed, trying to get any updates on the copycat Surgeon. As James walked by, Maggie reached out and grabbed him: “Hey, where are you off to?”

“Oh, uh, it doesn’t really matter,” James stammered, not making eye contact with Maggie.

“James,” Maggie said, her voice low and warning.

“Look, Captain has me going to talk to the Surgeon, okay? He wants to get any information about visitors, people who have written to the guy.”

Maggie shuddered involuntarily, but tried to hide it. “Okay. Be safe.”

“Of course,” James said, letting his hand rest on Maggie’s shoulder. “Captain also said that you can join us for in-office meetings about the case if you want to, though you don’t have to. There’s a briefing after lunch in the bullpen.”

“I’ll be there,” Maggie confirmed through gritted teeth. It didn’t matter how much the case upset her; what mattered was getting the guy responsible and locking him up before he could hurt any more innocent people.

“I figured,” James laughed humorlessly. “The new file’s on your desk in case you want to get yourself caught up to where everyone else is while I’m out.”

Maggie nodded and thanked James, wishing him luck once more before he left. She headed back to her desk and picked up the file. She swallowed hard at the crime scene photos—the victim’s marked body, so like her own had been. She tried not to dwell on it, to focus on the words on the page, the facts of the case, not the history of her involvement with it.

\---

When Alex came up the stairs to meet Maggie for lunch, she found the detective pacing around the bullpen, tapping a pen against a notepad and furrowing her eyebrows rather adorably, though Alex knew better than to say so. “Hey, Mags! You ready for lunch?”

“Alex. What—what time is it?”

“It’s noon…” Alex replied, looking slightly concerned. She wondered what had caused Maggie to get so lost in her own head.

“Here, I, uh, I’m coming,” she nodded, tossing the notepad back on her desk and grabbing her bag. When they got outside, she turned to Alex and kissed her hard, her lips desperately searching out Alex’s, her teeth pulling on Alex’s lower lip as her hands found the back of Alex’s neck, pulling her even closer.

“Wow,” Alex breathed out. “Here I thought I was the only one thinking about sex at work,” she joked. “But, uh, seriously: what was that about?”

“Can we go back to your place?”

“Uh, okay.” Alex was already turning, even though the confusion hadn't quite abated. “But you have to tell me what’s going on while we walk.”

“Fine,” Maggie conceded. Once they got a couple blocks away, she began talking: “James went to see the Surgeon. That’s where he is now. Trying to find out who might have the information and motive to want to go around imitating the creep. Anyway, they’re letting me work on the case, but just the in-office parts, don’t worry. I just…I spent the rest of the morning reading all the new stuff, and I couldn’t help thinking about the last time—when it was really him.”

“Do you—should we get you to the precinct’s counselor?” Alex asked, looking ready to turn back in an instant.

“No, it’s not quite like that. It’s nothing she could make me feel better about, you know? I just, I need a reminder that I’m still here. I’m still alive. He didn’t win because I’m still fighting. And you—you’re the reminder of how far I’ve come since then, of how alive I still am. I needed to be able to see you, to be with you.”

Alex nodded, squeezing Maggie’s hand tightly. “You’ll talk to someone if you need to, right?”

“Yes. I don’t have a problem with therapists, but I don’t like wasting my time when I know that type of talking won’t help.”

“Fine,” Alex conceded, speeding up a bit now that she could see her apartment building.

They were barely even through the doorway to Alex’s apartment before Maggie was on Alex, pushing her into the door as it slammed shut, pulling all of the locks closed. “Are you okay with this?” she asked through hard kisses.

“Yes,” Alex hissed, feeling herself melting into Maggie’s hard touches. Even though she knew this was more about Maggie, about Maggie getting to feel whole and alive in the face of the man who’d tried to end that, she needed it too—needed to feel her girlfriend against her, on top of her, remember that she had made it through the kidnapping, through the shooting, would make it through this.

Shedding clothes, they fumbled their way back to the bed until the backs of Alex’s legs hit the edge of the mattress. Maggie surged forward, pressing her back down and climbing on top to straddle her waist. She moaned into Alex’s mouth, loving the feeling of the warm body beneath hers, of the way Alex touched her—soft and hard at the same time, loving and insistent all at once. She felt safe without being coddled, loved without being babied.

Alex grew pliant beneath Maggie’s hands, letting herself be drawn up the bed, pulling Maggie closer and kissing her harder, her tongue slipping between Maggie’s lips. As Maggie slotted a thigh between Alex’s legs and pushed up into her, Alex grabbed Maggie’s ass, urging her to grind against her own thigh as well. Their kisses grew increasingly sloppy as they moaned loudly, feeling their thighs growing slick with the other’s arousal, their hips pumping hard and their hands desperately grabbing at whatever they could hold onto. Maggie came first with a low grunt, her weight dropping onto Alex’s chest, even as she kept her thigh firm against Alex’s center, and Alex followed not long after, clutching Maggie to her, nails digging into Maggie’s lower back as her hips stuttered underneath the woman.

Maggie rolled off of Alex, coming to rest at her side—both of them panting and more than a little sweaty. “You still okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, pulling Maggie closer even as she squinted at the clock across from her bed. “We’ve got twenty minutes before we need to head back…”

Grinning and nodding, Maggie pulled herself back up, moving to kneel between Alex’s legs.

“Actually, uh, do you mind staying up here? I want to be able to kiss you and see you and hold you…if that’s alright.”

“Of course,” Maggie nodded, pressing her lips to Alex’s, happy to have the opportunity to stay up with her, even if she would have gladly gone down on her girlfriend for hours. Lying on her side—pleased to find the injury barely even ached these days—Maggie dropped her hand between Alex’s legs as she kissed her way across Alex’s chest, pulling each of her nipples between her lips and sucking them into stiff peaks in turn.

Sliding one, then two fingers inside of Alex, Maggie whimpered at how wet the other woman already was, how eagerly her hips seemed to thrust up into her touch. Seeking out Alex’s lips, Maggie kissed her, feeling Alex’s moans and whimpers fill her mouth with every twist of her fingers, every flick of her thumb across her clit. Alex’s nails dug into Maggie’s back, pulling the woman close, remembering that she was still well, alive, with her—that she would be safe.

“I love you,” Maggie whispered against her lips, before dropping her mouth down to Alex’s neck to find the spots she’d learned drove Alex wild. As her fingers twisted inside of Alex and her tongue flicked up and down the side of Alex’s neck, Alex came with a gasp, her hips jumping up to meet Maggie’s fingers as her hands dragged the other woman down to her.

With barely a moment to breathe, Alex had flipped Maggie over, intent on getting to feel Maggie come under her once more. “You still good?” she checked, getting an enthusiastic nod back from Maggie, who needed every second of this before going back to the precinct and putting on a strong face for everyone at the meeting. Right now, she needed to fall apart. And within what felt like mere minutes, she was, crying out Alex’s name as the woman held her close until her trembling body stilled and wiped away the tears without a word of judgment.

They stayed like that for several minutes, both of them watching the clock, wanting to savor every last minute of closeness, even if it meant grabbing energy bars for lunch and throwing on their clothes at breakneck speed. Eventually, they both agreed that they had to leave now or risk being late for work.

\---

By the time they got back to the precinct, Maggie felt strong enough to face the copycat Surgeon, to listen to the whole squad talk about the past murders that had terrified National City four years ago. She clutched Alex’s hand, giving it one last hard squeeze before saying goodbye to her as she headed for the bullpen.

“Hey, when’s the meeting starting?” Maggie asked James, only to be pulled aside by both James and J’onn.

“The meeting’s been postponed,” James answered, though Maggie could tell he wasn’t saying everything.

“Why?” she asked suspiciously.

Taking a deep breath, J’onn explained: “Brandon Turner won’t speak to James.”

“Oh…so he has no information?”

“Well…he says he has information. But he’ll only speak to you.”

Maggie’s jaw clenched, and she sat up straighter. “When?” she finally managed.

“He wants to meet tomorrow. But, Maggie, you don’t have to go,” James told her, reaching out and offering a hand.

“I’ll go,” Maggie nodded, gritting her teeth.

“I’ll be there too,” J’onn told her. He knew it wasn’t exactly protocol to go with his detectives, but he wasn’t going to send Maggie in there without some kind of backup. Even if the man would be behind glass, unable to hurt her physically, he knew, perhaps more than anyone, the pain of emotional wounds, the burden of old memories and trauma that just never seemed to heal.

“Thanks,” Maggie mumbled, recognizing the gesture for what it was.

“I know it’s not my role to interfere in your personal life,” J’onn added, “but for what it’s worth, I think you should tell Alex sooner rather than later.”

Maggie grimaced. “Right. That. Yeah…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I've said, one does not simply leave in the middle of a murder mystery...happy Sunday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Although I’ve borrowed Hoyt’s nickname for the serial killer here, he has a totally different MO, backstory, etc. Not only did I want to avoid simply plagiarizing a story, but I also have zero desire to write any stories with explicit sexual violence in them, so I can promise that won’t be in here (I did get a few questions given what Hoyt did to his female victims).

“I don’t like this,” Alex stated bluntly, crossing her arms across her chest. “You said you were going to handle this case from the office. You’re not even cleared for active duty!”

“He’s going to be behind thick, bulletproof glass talking to me through a phone, Alex. Sure, I’ll be out of the office, but it’s not like I’m going to go running through the streets, chasing after bad guys,” Maggie explained, placing her hands on Alex’s arms and trying to comfort her.

“I still don’t like it.”

“I get that. But I’d never be able to live with myself if I thought that Turner knew something about the copycat, and we were just…letting more people die. Because why? Because I was too scared to go see some criminal locked behind bars? I can’t do that, Alex.”

“I know,” Alex sighed, finally letting her arms fall away from her chest as she pulled Maggie close to her. “Will you promise to go talk to the counselor afterward? Even if you don’t think you need it?”

“I will,” Maggie promised. “I’m going to get back, give a presentation to the team, then go straight down to the counselor, alright?”

“Fine. And I hope you know that, well, I’ll be downstairs too. If you need anything. Or just want to say hi.”

“I think I could manage that lengthy journey down to your lab,” Maggie teased, trying to introduce a note of much-needed levity into the situation. She grinned when Alex finally cracked a smile. “Now can we please go snuggle?”

“If only the guys at the precinct could see you now,” Alex teased. “Losing all of your badass cred.” Before Maggie could grumble out some reply, Alex shuffled them off toward the bed, swatting lightly at Maggie’s ass as they went, earning a small yelp before she was tackled to the mattress. “Fine! So badass! Extra scary detective right here!” Alex giggled, squirming away from Maggie’s fingers that were poised to tickle her.

“And don’t you forget it.”

\---

Maggie could barely even stomach her dry bagel the next morning as her gut twisted at the thought of having to see Turner face-to-face for the first time since his trial. Despite Alex’s own nerves and uncertainty about the thought of Maggie going to see the man that had nearly killed her years ago, she was attentive, rubbing Maggie’s shoulders and bringing her peppermint tea to settle her stomach.

“C’mon,” Alex whispered, packing up Maggie’s bagel in a small paper bag. “Let’s get down to the station so that you have a bit of time to get into your Detective Badass headspace, okay?”

“Yeah? You’ll come with me?”

“Of course. And if you want, you can always come sit down in my office or hang out in the lab with me.”

“Thanks,” Maggie whispered, letting her head fall back against Alex’s stomach as she turned to the side to kiss Alex’s hands, which had returned to her shoulders once more.

When they got to the precinct, though, Maggie found that J’onn was already there as well. With a quick kiss goodbye in the stairwell, Maggie braced herself and returned to his office. “You’re in early,” she remarked, sticking her head in the doorway.

“As are you,” he noted, smiling at the woman.

“Just, uh, wanted a few minutes before we left.”

“Would you like some time alone? I too came in to center myself before what I can’t imagine will be an easy interview, and if you’d like company, I’d be happy to have you.”

“Have me…?” Maggie asked, still unclear on what the captain meant.

“Go down to the gym. Do some breathing exercises. Run through a Tai Chi cycle. I’ve heard from the physical therapists that you’ve been doing well—almost ready to be cleared for active duty with the rate at which you’re progressing.”

“Yeah, maybe don’t tell Alex just yet,” Maggie mumbled. “But I’d join you in the gym.”

J’onn nodded and led the way down to the open training room that was blissfully quiet this early in the morning. After a brief warm up, he walked Maggie through one of the easier series of poses, watching as she seemed to ground herself more, get out of her head a bit as she dedicated all of her energy to following his instructions and listening to her body.

Once he walked them both through a cool down, he turned back to her and asked, “Do you feel ready? Again, you can always say no. We don’t need to give in to his demands.”

“I need to go. For me and for whomever this copycat’s next victim might be,” Maggie added through gritted teeth.

“Understood, Detective.” J’onn picked up the long-sleeved button up he had discarded and pulled it back on over his undershirt, then waited for Maggie to do the same. When she was ready, she nodded to J’onn and followed him up the stairs and out to his squad car.

Over the course of the hour-long drive out to the prison, they chatted briefly, but mainly rode in companionable silence, both of them appreciating the chance to be alone with their thoughts before dealing with the man who had terrorized National City for far too many months, wreaking havoc on families and communities before his eventual arrest and sentencing.

From the time they pulled into the parking lot through security and processing, Maggie felt like she was in a daze, her mind overcompensating for her nerves by leaving her a bit detached, as though she were a bystander watching her body go through the motions. It wasn’t until she was sitting in front of the thick glass partition staring into the eyes of the man who had kidnapped her and locked her in his basement for hours that she snapped back into reality, feeling a cold chill seep into her bones even as she suppressed a shudder, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of seeing her look weak.

“Detective, it’s been too long,” Brandon lilted, grinning at her through the glass.

Swallowing harshly, Maggie brought the phone up to her mouth. “Brandon,” she acknowledged.

“How are you?” he asked before she could get another word in.

“I’ll be better when you tell me who you’ve been talking to,” Maggie growled.

“Please, you remember how much I enjoyed our time together. Why not indulge me? Did you know they don’t allow me frequent visitors? Your visit is such a delight. I couldn’t let it end too soon, now could I?”

“Glad to hear you’re not enjoying your time.”

“Oh…I wouldn’t say that. Lots of time for reading. Thinking. All of the activities I loved.”

“And yet, no killing people.”

“Mm, pity,” Brandon mused.

“Now tell me: have you sent someone else out to kill on your behalf?”

“Do I look like the type of man who would outsource his work?”

Maggie gritted her teeth, wanting to yell that he looked like the kind of man who had no morals, who would probably do anything. “You tell me,” she managed.

“I know you know the answer, Maggie,” he taunted, letting her name roll off his tongue. “You have to remember our long afternoon together. You know it just wouldn’t have been the same if I’d let someone help. It made it so much more special—intimate, even—to be the one to find you, to grab you, to mark you—”

“Enough!” Maggie yelled. She felt like crying and screaming and punching him as hard as she could all at once.

“Still a touchy subject, I see.” He laughed—cold and slightly unhinged.

“So if you won’t let anyone help, why are you telling people what you used to kill your victims? Why is someone going around killing people exactly the way you did?”

“I would never! Trade secrets, after all. But, you must admit, surely I was an inspiration. I get enough fan mail…”

“I’ll need to see those letters.”

“Oh…pity, I don’t think I’ve saved them,” he replied looking anything but remorseful.

“Then you’ll tell me their names,” Maggie snapped, her patience wearing thin with every moment spent with him. She cycled through everything good memory she could think of in her head—being promoted to detective, meeting Alex, going out with Alex, kissing Alex, sleeping with Alex, holding hands with Alex—as she tried to stave off the rising panic she could feel clawing at her.

“When you write to a well-known serial killer, are you really stupid enough to sign with your full name?”

“You were stupid enough to get caught,” Maggie taunted, remembering just how proud Turner had been, how (relatively) simple it had been to get him to implicate himself by suggesting that he was incompetent, not smart enough to have devised such a powerful and nearly undetectable compound to poison his victims.

“They might not give me names, but they tell me enough,” he huffed haughtily. “Same story as mine—apparently those doctors haven’t learned a thing.”

“Which ones?” Maggie asked, feeling like they were finally getting somewhere.

“Hm…that I couldn’t tell you. But I’m missing our chats, let’s reminisce for old times’ sake, shall we?”

Motioning for the guard, Maggie hung up the phone and walked away from the glass, watching with satisfaction as Turner was dragged back to confinement. They didn’t have any names, but between the clues Turner had dropped and the information J’onn would have procured about frequent writers or visitors to Turner, hopefully they’d have enough to start chasing down leads—or, at least, her team would, since she promised Alex that she would only work this case from her desk.

The drive back to the precinct was significantly less tense than the drive there, if only because Maggie no longer had to deal with the anticipation of having to confront Turner. Now it was all about finding the copycat and stopping them before they could hurt another person.

Clearing his throat, J’onn looked over at Maggie briefly before turning his attention back to the road. “When we get back, do you want to present the information you got from Turner? Or would you rather tell me now, and I can present the case as a whole?”

“I can do it,” Maggie replied, looking determined, even if she still felt a bit queasy.

“Very well,” J’onn nodded. After a long stretch of highway passed in silence, he spoke again. “It’s nearly lunchtime. Would you want to stop somewhere?”

“That depends on where we’re stopping,” Maggie joked, grinning when she saw J’onn crack a smile.

“I thought, perhaps, somewhere a bit further away from the precinct could be a nice change of pace.”

Touched by the efforts the captain was making to help her get back to feeling whole, stable, strong once more before she had to present to the team, Maggie nodded. “That sounds nice.”

A few minutes later, J’onn pulled up outside of what looked like a typical roadside diner. “I promise, the food is better than the décor,” he added, chuckling a little.

“Alright…I’m taking your word for it.”

“Alex likes it, for what it’s worth.”

“Alex and Kara would eat pizza for every meal,” Maggie countered.

Shrugging in tacit agreement, J’onn winked at Maggie as he pulled open the door for her.

Over the course of lunch, which Maggie admitted was indeed delicious diner food, they chatted about Maggie’s physical therapy, and J’onn told Maggie about the times he’d been injured in the field, about the way those cases stuck with him more than others. As the conversation drifted away from the cases, he asked Maggie about how Alex was, causing the detective's cheeks to flush with warmth.

“Uh, she’s good,” Maggie nodded, shoving a few fries in her mouth as an excuse for not saying anything more.

“And you two visited Pam?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m not here to interrogate you, Maggie. In fact, I don’t want you to even have to think of me as your captain right now. As I’m sure you already know, it’s not as though Alex needs someone to take care of her. Though if you want my opinion, I think she’s happier, does a better job of taking care of herself, now that she’s dating you.”

“Thank you,” Maggie mumbled, picking at the remnants of the home fries on her plate. “I, uh, she makes me happy too. So if I can do that for her as well, all the better.”

Eventually, once their plates were cleared and the conversation came to a natural lull, J’onn checked his watch. “We should probably head back if we want to make the briefing on time.”

“Right,” Maggie nodded, feeling increasingly okay about having to talk about the Surgeon.

\---

“It looks like we’re dealing with a copycat killer, given that prison records show almost no frequent visitors to Turner—not enough to consider the killer an apprentice,” James explained, looking around at all of the officers who had gathered. “Diaz and Harris, you two will go through all logs of his incoming calls, visitor requests, even just online posts about the guy recently.”

“Based on what he told me about the types of”—Maggie paused and grimaced—“fan mail he gets, we’re looking for someone with a similar MO.”

“Detective Sawyer, could you give a brief summary for those officers who weren’t in National City four years ago?” J’onn cut in, not wanting to assume everyone was on the same page.

Speaking in a tone of cold detachment, Maggie recited: “Brandon Turner. Seemed like an average guy. Accountant. Married. Friends. Did alright for himself. His wife got sick, went in for what was supposed to be a low-risk, routine surgery, and ended up dying on the operating table. Turner stopped showing up for work, stopped seeing his friends, basically shut himself away. During this time, he developed a poison that left very few traces in the victim’s body. His calling card was the way he marked up the victims: always black permanent marker, circles and x’s as though he were going to perform extensive surgery—hence the nickname. Killed six people. Male and female, different races, all doctors of some kind.”

The officers in the room all nodded in understanding, and Maggie was grateful when none of them asked about how he was eventually apprehended. She settled back into her own desk chair and listened as James filled everyone in on the latest updates about their current case. They’d confirmed that their victim had been a surgeon at National City Hospital, so James asked Maggie to take point on looking online to see if anyone had publicly posted complaints about the surgeon in the past year, as well as looking into the legal guidelines around what the hospital would and would not be able to release, even with a subpoena. Kara was tasked with helping James to interview the victim’s family, friends, and coworkers to see if they knew of anyone who might have wanted to kill him.

Before Maggie dove into the work, she figured she would at least keep her promise to Alex, so she headed downstairs to seek out the counselor, Dr. Jefferson, with whom she’d reluctantly made an appointment. At least being downstairs would mean an easy stop into Alex’s office on her way back to her office, and that was guaranteed to make her feel better.

\---

By the time she finished with Dr. Jefferson, Maggie felt alright—her nerves a little raw from having to think so deeply about her own emotions and traumatic memories from years ago, but overall okay. She was proud of herself for going, and the knowledge that Alex was right around the corner made it even better.

“Hey, stranger,” Maggie grinned from the doorway, watching Alex’s ass as she snapped up from where she had been bent over, searching in her bag.

“Mags! What’s up?” Alex asked, her voice harried.

“Oh, uh, you told me I could stop by after seeing Dr. Jefferson, but, um, I can come back?”

“Fuck,” Alex huffed, massaging her temples. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you—of course I do—I just, I don’t really have time right this moment. There’s, well, they’ve found another body.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, since I couldn't find a good place to end it any later, but I've got the story mapped out through its conclusion, so there may be another update mid-week

_“Fuck,” Alex huffed, massaging her temples. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you—of course I do—I just, I don’t really have time right this moment. There’s, well, they’ve found another body.”_

“What?” Maggie gasped. She knew they were dealing with a copycat killer, but she hadn’t expected them to work with the same speed Turner had. She remembered what it was like, finding a new body every week for over a month, all of the grisly details the same. They had suspected Turner might be guilty in a few unsolved murders—they’d been messy, far less precise than the six murders for which he was convicted, but Maggie always wondered whether they were Turner’s practice rounds. So for someone new to be leaving bodies this fast…Maggie shuddered to think what they might be dealing with.

“Down in the park,” Alex explained. “I promise, I want to be here for you, but I really need to go. Tonight we’ll talk, okay?”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not,” Alex insisted, grabbing her bag and shuffling Maggie out of her office to lock up.

“Alex, I have to.”

“No, Maggie, you most definitely do not. You’re not cleared for active duty, first of all.”

“I basically am,” Maggie retorted. “Plus, this isn’t quite active field duty. It’s investigating a crime scene, not chasing down leads.”

“Maggie,” Alex began, her voice low as she put a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “I love you. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I need you to stay behind at the precinct for me, okay?”

“Alex, he kills doctors. You—you’re a doctor.”

“Yes, which is exactly why they need me there to examine the body. I’ll be surrounded by cops and detectives. You’d have to be insane to try to kidnap or kill someone in front of all those people.”

“Don’t you think that idolizing and copying a serial killer already makes you a little insane?” Maggie snapped.

“I promise, I’m coming back to you. For now, you need to stay here. Get on the investigation from this end.”

“Fine,” Maggie huffed, letting Alex guide her up the stairs and back to her desk. Before Alex could leave, Maggie glanced around and placed a small kiss to her cheek, not wanting to leave on bad terms. “Come back to me. Please.”

“Always,” Alex nodded, squeezing Maggie’s hand tight before heading out the door.

\---

By the time Alex, James, and the rest of the team got back, it was already past 5 o’clock and Maggie was ready to tear out her hair. She’d spent hours on the phone with the hospital and her contacts over at the courts trying to figure out if there was some way to get access to the names of any patients who had died under their dead surgeon’s care or anyone who had submitted a formal complaint against him, only to be told again and again that those records were strictly confidential—even during criminal investigations.

After the conversation she’d had with Turner, she was more convinced than ever that they were looking for someone else who had lost a family member or someone close during a medical procedure, and Maggie wondered if the first killing was, perhaps, a targeted one. She hoped the victims wouldn’t be as seemingly random as Turner’s had been; a personal connection would help to narrow down their list of suspects, which was currently too large to even try to think about.

“Where’s Alex?” Maggie asked James as soon as he walked in.

“She’s down in her lab performing the autopsy,” James replied. “But Maggie—”

Before James could finish, Maggie was up and heading downstairs, needing to see Alex, to make sure the woman was alive and okay.

“Alex!” Maggie sighed, as she walked through the door.

“Maggie?” Alex’s voice caught and Maggie wondered what had happened. It was then that Maggie’s eyes wandered over to the autopsy table, to the face she recognized from too many surveillance photos recovered from Turner’s home.

“Is that…?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, her voice soft. “It’s Dr. Green.” No one was sure why Turner had waited to kill the surgeon who he still held responsible for his wife’s death. The prevailing theory had been that Turner wanted the doctor scared, wanted him to feel as panicked as he had waiting for any news about his wife. But to kill six people and kidnap a seventh without even trying…it just confused people.

“But Turner’s still in prison?” Maggie checked.

Once more, Alex nodded. “Are you okay?”

“I just…I mean, I was so sure he’d be safe now, now that Turner was gone,” Maggie mumbled, thinking more to herself than anything else.

“We all did,” Alex admitted. Sure, she wasn’t working the case, but she hadn’t expected this, had assumed the copycat had his own list of targets.

“Does James know?” Maggie asked, remembering that James had come to homicide a few months after Turner’s arrest.

“I told him,” Alex confirmed.

Maggie nodded numbly, chewing on her lip. She didn’t want to think about all of the media attention that would suddenly be cast on the precinct again, about how many questions there would be, about the nervous energy that would inevitably bubble up and over in the city at the news that the Surgeon—or a copycat killer—was back. She remembered having to push her way through hordes of reporters each time she left work, remembered the incessant voicemails and emails to everyone on the team, remembered Cat Grant forcing her way into the Captain’s office insisting that the citizens of National City deserved information when their safety was at risk.

“Maggie, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Maggie managed. “Maybe I sit down here with you?”

Alex shrugged; she was used to Maggie’s company during her autopsies, used to letting Maggie be the first to know when she found something, when she could finally confirm a cause of death or an anomaly. The first couple of times it had happened, she’d been startled, confused about why someone other than an assistant would want to stay with her, but Maggie hadn’t flinched or gotten squeamish about the dead bodies in the way that some of the other detectives and officers had. So Alex got used to it, found she enjoyed the steady lull of mindless chatter in the background, and since Maggie was, more often than not, simply trying to work something out on her own, Alex never felt guilty for not participating in the conversation.

As Alex began the autopsy, calling one of her assistant MEs in to help out, Maggie shuffled her way across the room, sinking into the chair set up in the corner at the table that had become her unofficial spot. She pulled out the spare notebook and pens Alex kept for her on the table and began tracing out a list of next steps for the case, trying to figure out how to narrow down their suspect list. As much as she loathed the idea of it, she thought a visit to Turner might be in order. She wondered if he might suddenly “remember” details if she were to reveal that the copycat had killed William Green, had done the one thing Turner would never again have the opportunity to do—the very thing that had driven him to it in the first place. He had been so adamant about working alone, about wanting—needing the satisfaction that came from doing it himself. Perhaps he might just snap if he heard someone else had stolen the chance from him.

Maggie looked up when Alex made a noise of surprise. “What is it?”

“Hold on,” Alex told her, her hands busy. “Huh,” Alex murmured, pulling something out of the body.

“What is it?” Maggie asked again, feeling herself growing impatient, even though she knew her questions could grate on Alex sometimes.

“It’s a laminated note—shoved down his throat,” Alex explained, dropping it into a clean bowl and using tweezers to unroll it.

“What does it say?” Maggie asked, jumping to her feet.

Alex’s mouth tightened and her shoulders tensed. “One more to even the score.”

Unable to quiet her thoughts any longer, Maggie stood and began pacing across the back of Alex’s lab. What did that mean? She tried to work out. Green’s death was some sort of retribution for Turner’s wife’s death. The first surgeon must have been revenge as well, so they were likely looking for someone who was related to or married to a patient of his, a patient who must have died on the operating table. But who was the last one? Had the killer lost another person, leaving them with another doctor to kill? Or was this about Maggie, about finally killing her the way Turner had once intended?

Maggie only stilled when she felt a pair of hands on her arms. “Hey, Maggie, can you take a few deep breaths for me?”

“How am I supposed to relax when…when—all of this?” Maggie hissed, not wanting the assistant ME to see her like this.

“Do you want to go back to Dr. Jefferson?” Alex suggested, realizing only now that it was nearing 7 and the doctor likely wouldn’t be in this late.

“No.”

“What about the gym? Maybe you and J’onn can run through those sequences again. Didn’t you say it really helped before you had to go talk to Turner?”

“I don’t want to be calm; I want this to be over!” Maggie snapped, feeling everything she thought she had a handle on come bubbling back up, every thought, every what if, come racing back into her head, reminding her that she had barely escaped with her life the last time. Who was to say that she’d get a second miracle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice long chapter for your Sunday! Starts with some angst (cw for not particularly detailed descriptions of a panic attack), but then we get fluff and a whole lot of crack with the superfriends to make up for the heavier chapters of late, before finally ending with a little progress on the case!

Once Maggie had gotten her breathing under control enough to want to be touched, Alex sat and stroked her hair, holding her close to her chest, letting her feel Alex’s warmth, feel her heart beating, her chest rising and falling in time with her slow, deep breathing. “You’re okay,” Alex murmured. “We’re going to get through this. You’re an amazing detective. We’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.” Alex kept up the whispering, repeating soft assurances as Maggie finally came back down from her panic attack.

Maggie had managed to hold herself together for the last half hour of the autopsy, but by the time they were driving home, she’d gone nearly catatonic—luckily having had the foresight to ask Alex to drive. Alex sat with her in the car for a few minutes once they got back to her apartment building, but, feeling nervous about their somewhat vulnerable position in the parking garage—not that she’d admit it, never wanting to worsen Maggie’s own anxiety—she managed to get Maggie up and to her feet just long enough to get her into the apartment where she’d curled into herself on the couch.

For a while, Alex did little more than sit with her as a constant presence the way Maggie liked. After a while, she began speaking—softly, quietly, soothingly—telling Maggie about the most mundane things she could think about, the things that reminded her of a life outside of the precinct and all the violence that came along with it. She told Maggie about the New Yorker article she was reading, listed out the errands she needed to run this weekend, talked about the groceries she should really have picked up, thought about what she might like to eat for dinner tomorrow. Finally, Maggie’s head had lifted slightly, her body shifting enough to allow Alex in, to let Alex take her place beside Maggie, her lap open for Maggie’s head.

“Sorry,” Maggie finally mumbled, her mouth pressed against Alex’s thighs.

“Don’t apologize, Maggie. Really. You help me when I’m like this, yeah? And you don’t think I’m a burden, do you?”

“No,” Maggie answered more emphatically, tilting her head to look Alex in the eyes. “You would never be a burden.”

“Exactly. I feel the same way about you.”

Maggie shrugged, looking unconvinced.

“What about some hot tea and those sugar cookies Lena sent over to us?” Alex offered, hoping she wasn’t moving too soon.

“You know I don’t think Kara gave us all the cookies Lena set,” Maggie chuckled. “Who sends over half a box of cookies?”

“I know,” Alex agreed, shaking her head at her sister’s antics. “I gave up on the idea of having a meal I didn’t share a very long time ago.” Carefully, she lifted Maggie’s head and pulled a pillow down to replace her lap. “I’ll go put on water. Want to stay out here or move to the bedroom?”

“Bedroom,” Maggie called out, looking much better than she had an hour ago when they’d first gotten upstairs.

“Sounds good,” Alex nodded.

\---

The next morning, Maggie woke up first to a face full of Alex’s hair. Her arms and legs were both wrapped firmly around Alex, pulling her impossibly close, which sort of made the whole hair smothering thing her own fault. But more importantly, she also woke up feeling reinvigorated, feeling whole enough to get back to the precinct and put away a copycat killer.

Before she could lose her nerve, she woke Alex. “Morning,” she whispered, gently rubbing up and down Alex’s arms.

“Too early,” Alex grumbled, pulling the blankets up and over her head.

“Come on, my little blanket burrito. It’s time to get up.”

“Really?” Alex asked, poking her head out and looking completely and utterly devastated.

Maggie almost wanted to tell her no, to tell Alex that she could stay home and spend the whole day in bed, but she knew Alex would never go for it. “Tragically, yes, really.”

“Fine,” Alex huffed. “Anything fun planned for the day?”

“Well, I, uh,” Maggie stammered, trying to gather her nerves once more. “I’m doing my physical to get cleared for active duty again.”

“Oh.”

“Right, uh, yeah. I just, it’s been a while now, you know? And I’m feeling fine, really. Plus, I’ve been doing all of the physical therapy and the take-home exercises.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Alex agreed. Somehow she hadn’t realized just how long it had been, how close Maggie was to going back into the field. “Are you, uh, are you going to be doing fieldwork for this case?”

“Maybe,” Maggie admitted, not wanting to lie to Alex, even though she knew the answer could upset her.

Alex took a few deep breaths, willing herself to react well. After all, she understood that Maggie probably wanted a chance to feel in control of this case again, in the same way that Alex wanted to do the autopsies, wanted to confirm every detail herself. “Okay, well, I hope the test goes well. I’m sure they’ll clear you.”

“That…that’s it?”

“Would it do any good for me to protest? Would it change anything if I told you that of course your decision worries me, that of course I’ll be beyond terrified to know that you’re exposing yourself just as the copycat Surgeon is running around National City?”

Maggie rubbed at her neck, a nervous habit she’d picked up from Alex years ago.

“Exactly,” Alex sighed. “I understand why it matters to you to work this case, so I’m not going to try to tell you what to do. Just please promise me you’ll be careful?”

“Always. And you do the same, okay?”

“Of course.”

\---

Maggie’s morning flew by in a whirlwind of checkups and tests and phone calls and paperwork, but by noon, she had been cleared for active duty once more.

“Hey, Maggie,” James called, striding across the room to her desk.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go out to lunch to celebrate? We can get a group of us together, head down to The Dirty Robber?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Maggie answered.

“Awesome! J’onn said he’d love to come, but he has a lunch meeting today. We can still get the game night group together, if that works?”

“Yeah, sure,” Maggie nodded. “If you want to find Kara, I can head down and grab Alex, Lena, and Winn from their labs.”

“Sounds perfect. Meet you out front in 10.”

Maggie gathered her belongings and headed downstairs, popping into the forensics lab first.

“Hey, Maggie!” Lena waved, her head popping up from some deconstructed tech spread out across the table.

“Hey, Lena,” Maggie waved back. “And hi, Winn,” she added, noting him poking his head out from behind the computer, ready to listen to whatever news she might be bringing. “I wanted to see if you two wanted to join us all for lunch?”

“Sure,” Lena agreed. “Out in the courtyard?”

“Actually, we were gonna head down to The Dirty Robber.”

“Ooh, are we celebrating something? Is it a birthday? Will there be cake?” Winn asked.

“You’re starting to sound like Kara. But, uh, sort of? I got cleared for active duty, so, yeah, James thought it would be a good idea…” Maggie trailed off, looking down as she scuffed at the floor with her toes.

“Congrats!” Winn called, rushing forward but pulling up short before he barreled into Maggie…again. He’d learned his lesson about overly enthusiastic hugs before and had no desire for a repeat performance.

“Thanks, Schott,” Maggie nodded, biting back a smile at how proud of himself he looked for having remembered not to throw his arms around her—at least not at work. “Anyway, I still need to get Alex, but Kara and James are waiting out front.”

“Perfect,” Lena added, grabbing her purse and phone and heading for the stairs. “Winn, you coming or did you need to check your hair before seeing James?”

“Shut up,” Winn whined, tucking his phone and wallet into his back pocket as he followed Lena out the door.

“See you up there, lover boy,” Maggie called out, cackling when Winn blushed a bright red and waved off her comments. Once they were gone, Maggie took a deep breath, preparing herself to break the news to Alex. Figuring it was now or never, she walked down the hall and knocked on the doorway to Alex’s office, since she hadn’t been in the morgue.

“Come in!” Alex yelled, her tone professional even though she really wasn’t in the mood to be disturbed. But when she saw Maggie’s face, she relaxed. “Oh, hey. Didn’t realize it was you. What’s up?”

“I, uh, I got cleared,” Maggie announced, figuring it was best to get it right out there.

“Wow, um, okay, yeah. Right… Well, that’s great, Maggie. Really, I’m glad to hear that you’re well enough to be out in the field.”

The wording was deliberate, and Maggie knew it, but it didn't stop her from feeling touched at the fact that Alex was willing to put Maggie's wishes ahead of her own fears. “Thanks,” she replied, her voice soft. “Er, James was getting a few people together to go celebrate. We’re gonna grab lunch at the Dirty Robber. Would you want to come?”

“Sure.” With a deep breath, Alex nodded. She was Maggie’s girlfriend, and she would be there to support her, no matter how much she worried.

“Great!” Maggie beamed, holding a hand out for Alex, figuring they could risk the small display of PDA considering most of the office had assumed they were dating for years.

\---

“No way!” Kara yelled. “Best Detective Sawyer moment was hands down watching her try to arrest the streaker!”

Everyone burst out laughing—even Winn and Lena who’d only heard about it second-hand, having been down in their lab at the time. Alex actually looked slightly more relaxed, letting herself be lulled into a sense of security by the stories of some of Maggie’s “finest” moments from her years on the force. She remembered the day quite clearly: she and Maggie were just back from lunch—a totally platonic best friends lunch, of course—and Alex had been walking Maggie back to her desk—because they were best friends, and that’s what best friends did. But as they walked into the bullpen, they quickly spotted a man who’d been waiting to “report a crime” throwing off his coat, leaving him completely naked, save for a pair of sneakers. He took off, running in circles around the somewhat dazed officers, most of whom were too shocked to react fast enough to grab him. But Maggie, well, Maggie had bitten the bullet, so to speak, and had chased after the man, eventually tackling him to the ground and touching far more skin than she’d ever wanted to touch on a random man. The Captain had praised her fast reaction, especially since the man turned out to be wanted all across National City for streaking and sexual harassment, but she’d taken a ton of shit from the rest of the team about it.

“Wait!” James called out. “What about that rookie whose arm she almost broke?”

“When was that?” Kara asked.

“Oh, it was before some of your time,” James sighed, shaking his head at how old he felt sometimes. “Let your elders tell you about dear Jamie Kennedy.”

Alex bit her lip, stifling a grin at how annoyed Maggie looked at the mere memory. Alex forgot just how much she had hated Jamie. The reasons behind that hatred seemed so much clearer now.

“Once upon a time, Maggie used to be in charge of part of orientation. That year would be her last year.”

“Thanks to Pam,” Alex added, winking at Maggie.

“Well, our dear Jamie took a liking to Maggie.”

“Apparently my talk of a girlfriend wasn’t enough of a deterrent,” Maggie grumbled.

“No.” James shook his head. “It was an incentive, an added challenge, if you will.” Already knowing the story, Alex took a moment to text the group chat she had going with Maggie, Kara, and Lena, telling them all to look at Winn’s face. He was watching James with what looked like adoration as he regaled them all with his dramatic retelling.

Kara was far too busy listening to check her phone, but Alex noted the moment Lena nudged Kara, as they both stifled their giggles in their elbows, while Maggie sent back a string of heart eye emojis, getting at thumbs up in response from Kara.

“So at the end of the day,” James continued, “Jaime comes strutting up to Maggie, his badge and gun on his hip, like that was going to impress someone who had the exact same things. So he pulls some line—like, an actual pickup line that I thought they only used in bad movies—and Maggie laughs him off at first. But then he keeps going. I couldn’t hear what he said.”

“Wasn’t worth hearing,” Maggie interjected, rolling her eyes at the memory.

“But the next thing you know, Maggie has this guy’s arm behind his back, and he’s on the floor nearly crying.”

“He had it coming,” Maggie grumbled.

“He did,” Alex agreed, resting her head against Maggie’s as her fingers found Maggie’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“How many weeks did you spend doing…uh, what’d they let you call it? Volunteer community service?” James asked.

“Just two,” Alex answered. She may or may not have come along for moral support.

“Two too many,” Maggie countered, still feeling like she had been in the right.

“I still think the best was Maggie’s stalker—the friendly one!” Alex added, not wanting anyone to think she somehow meant the Surgeon or anyone like that.

“Who was that?” Lena asked, smiling as Kara spun around, a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Only Alex’s least favorite person ever,” Kara happily supplied.

Alex blushed slightly, but cleared her throat. “She was bothering Maggie.”

“She was hitting on Maggie and bothering _you_ ,” James corrected, laughing along with Kara.

Lena looked over at Alex. “So…is this when the rumors about you two started?”

“No,” James shook his head. “They definitely started earlier; this simply helped to confirm them.”

“Whatever,” Alex scoffed, pouting until Maggie wrapped her arms around her.

“I, for one, still want to hear about the mystery woman,” Lena offered, trying to help cheer Alex up.

“Me too!” Winn added, though he sort of hoped James would tell the story, but James looked to Alex that time.

“Well, this woman,” Alex began.

“Anna,” Maggie interjected, biting her lip and trying not to smile at the disgruntled look on Alex’s face.

“Yes, Anna,” Alex corrected, looking pained at even the mention of her name. “Well, Maggie had responded to a call about an attempted break in, since she was in the area. And when she shows up, this woman—Anna—basically swooned at her knight in shining armor. So when Maggie leaves—no proof of an actual break in, by the way—Anna asks for her card in case she feels ‘unsafe’ in the future.”

“That’s valid, Danvers,” Maggie protested.

“It’s valid to ask for your office number. She asked for your personal cell phone!”

Lena cackled at the banter.

“Whatever.” Maggie shrugged. Even though she knew Alex was right, she also liked watching how worked up she got at the memory. A little bit of jealousy could be sort of cute. Plus, watching Alex’s increasingly annoyed reactions to Anna at the time had given Maggie the first spark of hope that Alex might not be as straight as she thought, might even like Maggie back.

“Anyway, she starts calling Maggie for all sorts of things, then she shows up and brings her chocolates and wine.”

“She wanted to take me out to dinner for my ‘service to the community,’” Maggie clarified, looking far too pleased with herself.

“But it wasn’t just a one time thing! No, this woman shows up almost weekly just to ‘check in.’”

“That is pretty intense,” Winn chimed in.

“No, no, still not the worst part!” Alex nearly yelled. “So a week or two goes by without a visit, and Maggie finally feels like she’s in the clear.” Kara and Lena just looked at each other, suspecting that Alex was the one who finally felt like she was in the clear. “But then Maggie gets a call; Anna says the would-be burglar came back.”

“The plot thickens!” James added, grinning at Winn’s overly enthusiastic laugh.

“So Maggie goes running. Because she’s an excellent cop, obviously. But when she gets there, not only is there no robber, but Anna is waiting for her on the bed in lingerie!”

“Get it, girl,” Winn laughed.

“Excuse me! It was totally inappropriate!” Alex protested.

“I mean, yes,” Maggie admitted, “but it wasn’t the worst way to end a Friday…”

“Oh my god, did you sleep with her?” Lena asked, her mouth hanging open. And suddenly all eyes were on Maggie, including Alex’s.

“No!” Maggie shook her head adamantly. “No, I know better than that. Someone who’s willing to fake a crime has to be a little off.”

“Fine,” Alex huffed.

“Missed opportunities,” Winn teased.

“Excuse me, we don’t all have your terrible taste in women,” Maggie teased back, sticking her tongue out at Winn, who couldn’t even come up with a good counterexample to defend himself.

\---

By the time they got back to the precinct, Alex felt a lot lighter. She was still worried about Maggie and not particularly pleased about her being back in the field for their ongoing case, but at least she was reminded of how many people Maggie had in her life now, how many people would be there to support her if the case shook her up. Alex didn’t want to think about anything else they might have to support her through.

“Hey, Mags?” Alex asked, before Maggie could head back to her desk.

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you? About the case, I mean.”

“Oh, sure,” Maggie nodded, letting Alex lead her back down to her office.

“So, I was thinking, based on that note, our first victim—Dr. Cruz—well, there’s a good chance that he lost a patient in surgery recently. And I know that the hospitals won’t give out those records, but I can get a list of anyone who’s died since the time of Turner’s imprisonment…”

“Okay,” Maggie nodded, not entirely sure how this helped, given the wide range of times and possibilities for when it happened.

“Sure, it might have happened earlier, but based on what you said about Turner’s fan mail, it sounds like something more recent, like someone is looking to Turner’s crimes in grief.”

“Yeah, I mean, Turner said something about how the same thing keeps happening.”

“Right, so I’ve asked for these lists and have been working with Lena and Winn to come up with a predictive algorithm for narrowing down the possibilities.”

“Mm, speak nerdy to me, Danvers,” Maggie teased, even though she actually really wanted to hear more.

“Right, well, most serial killers—and copycat killers—are men, often married to women who have no idea. For our first round, we’re interested in people who are most like Turner, whose cases would be really similar. So we figure we’re looking for a woman who was young enough for this to really feel like an acute, unexpected loss. We’re looking for married women, probably. Of course, they should also have died in National City, since that’s where Dr. Cruz works. And that actually narrows the list down substantially. I’ve also reached out to a few of my friends who work in the hospital morgues, seeing if they’ve done any autopsies recently on a patient matching our description, since sometimes they’ll do them if there were complications when the hospital worries they might be sued.”

“That’s amazing,” Maggie exclaimed. “Seriously, Alex, that’s more progress than we’ve had in a while.”

“Thanks,” Alex beamed. “It’ll probably take a few days, but I figure it could help, right?”

“Absolutely!”

“I’ll let you know if and when I get anything, then.”

“That’s great. In the meantime, I’m headed back to visit Turner again tomorrow,” Maggie admitted, figuring she should get all of the news out now.

“Oh.” Alex tried to remind herself that Maggie had already done this, that Turner was locked up and didn’t pose any active threat to Maggie. “Right, I guess, uh, I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah, we think if we tell him that someone else killed Dr. Green, his prime target, he might get upset enough to tell us any names he can remember from his ‘fans.’” Maggie added, visibly cringing at the word.

“Well, that makes sense. And you’ll, uh, you’ll be safe?”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty focused on the plot with just a bit of Sanvers fluff to get you through it!

Maggie felt a little bit better about visiting Turner this time. Sure, she never liked seeing him, but having already faced her fears once and survived gave her some sense of security. She could do this. She had done this.

“You sure you want to go?” Alex asked, her voice soft as she nuzzled into Maggie’s chest, refusing to get up even for the promise of coffee.

“I think we might get some answers,” Maggie replied, running her fingers through Alex’s messy morning hair and smoothing it back and off of her face.

“That feels nice,” Alex whispered, letting her eyelids flutter closed once more.

“I wish we could stay here forever…”

“We did that once,” Alex added, suddenly very interested in the possibility of repeating that performance. “We could have a relapse of the black lung.”

“Mm, maybe tonight,” Maggie purred, grinning at Alex’s pout. “C’mon, you would totally have wanted to go into the office to check on the death records.”

“Fine,” Alex huffed, though she still refused to lift her head from where it rested on Maggie’s chest.

“Alex,” Maggie whined. “I want breakfast.”

“Five more minutes.”

“I’ll make you coffee?”

“In a minute.”

“I have to pee.”

“Ugh, fine,” Alex finally conceded, lifting her head before dropping it back down to the pillow. She grabbed her phone and scrolled through her notifications, rolling her eyes at the string of memes Kara had sent to their group chat in rapid succession. At the bottom was a short message from Lena: “Sorry for all the texts. I left for half an hour…”

Eventually the smell of coffee lured Alex out of bed and into the kitchen.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Maggie chirped.

“Morning,” Alex yawned as she grabbed a bowl for some cereal. “How are you feeling about today?” she asked. If she couldn’t talk Maggie out of it, she’d at least make sure the woman went in feeling strong and supported.

“Okay, actually,” Maggie answered. And it was true.

“Alright. I trust you.”

“Thanks,” Maggie smiled.

\---

“Come down to my office,” read Alex’s text message.

Even though Maggie knew that it was probably about getting lunch before her long drive out to the prison or maybe an update on the case, she couldn’t help the places her mind went at those words. Sure, she hadn’t exactly told Alex that taking her in her office—specifically the office, definitely not the lab, Maggie shuddered—was a fantasy of hers; she didn’t quite know whether they had gotten to that stage of their relationship yet. But still…a girl could hope.

Maggie made her way downstairs and knocked as she came into Alex’s office, shutting the door behind her. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, I think we’ve got a list of about 15-20 possible suspects for the copycat Surgeon.”

“Wait, really?” Maggie asked. She had expected it to take several days.

“Yeah, we, uh, might have really gone all in as a group for this effort,” Alex admitted, not wanting to think about how many favors she’d called in to get the list together. No one wanted this guy out on the streets.

“You’re perfect!” Maggie gushed. “This is almost as good as what I thought you meant,” she added more to herself than anyone else.

“What did you think I meant?”

“Oh.” Maggie colored slightly, laughing nervously. “Um, nothing.”

“What?” Alex whined. There were very few things she hated more than feeling like she was being left out of some story or joke or secret.

“It’s just, when you said to come down to your office…you know. The mind wanders…hopeful thinking and all that.”

“In the middle of the day, really?”

“In my defense, you tried to get us to stay home for a full day for that exact reason.”

“Hey, I’m not judging you!” Alex rushed to add. “I just didn’t realize the office would do it for you.”

Maggie shrugged. “Not always…but you have to know how many times when we were ‘just friends’ you’d send me stuff like that, then tell me to shut and lock the door and basically bounce onto the couch next to me.”

“Oh man, and it was normally just to gossip, wasn’t it?” Alex cringed, feeling a bit guilty, especially since she often didn’t even really have any gossip or news, but instead had desperately wanted to see Maggie and didn’t feel like waiting until lunch or post-work drinks or dinner.

“A little bit,” Maggie admitted, chuckling softly.

“Sorry about that.”

“Eh, it’s in the past. So tell me about these suspects.”

“I haven’t gotten a chance to go through the names, but here they all are.” Alex handed over a list she had typed up for Maggie.

“You’re amazing! I’m gonna go get this to James. Then I should probably head over to Turner, but I’ll text you on my way back, okay?”

“Okay. Be safe.”

“I will, Alex.”

“I know,” Alex conceded before leaning over and kissing Maggie hard, holding her close, needing to feel her, to remind her of what she had to look forward to when she came back home.

“Mm, I like these new trips down to your office.”

Alex just laughed, swatting at Maggie’s ass before sending her back upstairs with the list.

\---

Maggie tried to avoid the temptation to check her phone every five minutes, especially since she was driving, but knowing that James had chosen Kara to work through Alex’s list of suspects and then accompany him to interview the ones she thought had the clearest motive made her nervous. Getting another young agent on the case was exactly what she hadn’t wanted. Theoretically, she understood that Kara wanted to work the case, that Kara was a good cop and wouldn’t do something stupid. But she also knew how crafty the Surgeon had been, knew how she herself had ended up falling for one of his traps. More importantly, she knew that Alex would never get over Kara getting hurt, let alone something worse.

Finally she gave up and asked Siri to call James, putting him on speaker right away to try to follow the rules of the road.

“Hello?”

“Hey, James.”

“Maggie, you left, like, ten minutes ago.”

“It’s definitely been closer to twenty,” Maggie corrected.

“Nothing has changed. We’re still going through the list, pulling addresses, checking for criminal records. We’ve got a whole team of people working on it.”

“So…do you think you’ll be leaving the office today? For interviews, I mean.”

“Maybe. I’d like to get out there soon—you know as well as I do that this case is priority number one right now.”

“I know,” Maggie sighed. “Just, please keep Kara safe.”

“First of all, you know I would never send an officer out if I didn’t think they were ready. Kara has been on plenty of cases, and I’ll be right there with her. Plus, do you really think I’m trying to incur the wrath of Dr. Danvers?”

Maggie laughed at that. “Fine.”

“Exactly. Now you should focus on being safe yourself. And not just physically safe, okay? I can’t imagine it’s easy to see Turner again, even if he is behind bars.”

“It’s not. Thanks,” she mumbled, thinking back to how great James had been as a partner when she came back after the kidnapping.

“Anytime. Now go get us some answers.”

“Roger that.”

Maggie silenced her phone, intent on getting herself in the right headspace to deal with Turner. When that didn’t work, she fiddled with the radio, trying to find something to drown out her thoughts. Instead she found herself horrified when the “oldies” music station was playing songs from some of the very first records she ever bought. She made a mental note to text Alex about that and ask when they had gotten old enough for their music to count as “classic.”

\---

“I’ve missed you,” Brandon said, smiling lecherously at Maggie.

“I can’t say the same.”

“And yet, here you are again. Just for me.” Brandon leered at her through the glass.

“Dr. Benjamin Cruz: does that name mean anything to you.”

“Hmm, couldn’t say,” Brandon mused, shrugging his shoulders in a show of affected nonchalance.

“He’s dead. You get any letters from someone who’d want to do that to him?”

“I think I’ve told you already, Detective: my memory just isn’t that good.”

“Really? Here, I thought you might have cherished every note, every reminder that once upon a time you still had your freedom.”

“Mm, yet here I sit. All because of you, Maggie, because of the one day we spent together.”

Maggie ground her teeth together, digging her nails into her thigh to keep herself steady, her voice even. “What if I tell you that I have some information that might help you remember?”

“I doubt it’ll work.”

“Remember William Green?” Maggie asked, biting back a grin at the way she suddenly seemed to have the upper hand as Turner’s eyes flashed with recognition.

He tried to mask his own interest. “I do.”

“Yeah…I remember going through your things. You had his schedule down to the minute. You had maps of the route he drove to work every day, where he went on his runs, the exact rooms he preferred for different surgeries. Meticulous, really.”

“Thank you,” Turner smiled.

“Yes, yes. I still wonder why it is you never got around to killing him…”

Turner’s upper lip curled back before he managed to pull back down a mask of indifference. “We all have secrets, Detective.”

“Hmm, true. But someone knew yours. Someone has your secret formula for poisoning victims. Someone has the exact marks you used to draw on your victims memorized. Someone’s out there copying your every move.”

“I recall. Why don’t you tell me something new?”

Maggie shrugged, remembering just how impatient Turner had been when he felt like he was missing information. “Well, I guess that person’s just better at it than you…”

“What do you mean?” Turner growled.

“Well, they managed to kill Green,” Maggie announced, her words perfectly enunciated, her tone taunting.

Maggie saw the flash of anger in Turner’s eyes that was too much to be contained, too much to be pushed away back under the mask he wore. And then he was up and roaring into the phone, demanding to know who had done it, who had taken away his chance, who had claimed his rightful victim. He threw the phone, screaming as it bounced uselessly against the bulletproof Plexiglass barrier. Within seconds, the guards were on him, calling for backup, injecting him with a sedative and dragging him back to his cell.

Maggie tried to breathe deeply, reminding herself that he couldn’t get to her. That anger—it was nothing like the self-assured way he’d handled himself when he kidnapped her. It was new, different, proof of a powerlessness he suddenly felt. Something a lot like vindication swept through her at the realization that Turner might now feel the way he’d made her feel. Of course, she hadn’t gotten her answers. Well, she at least knew that he hadn’t ordered the hit, that this copycat wasn’t working under Turner’s orders. She quickly phoned J’onn and relayed everything to him.

“Come on back to the precinct, Detective,” J’onn ordered.

“Will do,” Maggie confirmed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is almost all case progress and very little Sanvers (mainly just Kara, James, and the suspects), but I think you can all tell what the end is setting up…

Kara knew she shouldn’t be excited about this case, suspected Alex would come and pull her out of the car for even _thinking_ _about_ being excited about this case, but she couldn’t stop the thrill of anticipation at the idea that she might help bring down a copycat killer, help stop a menace terrorizing National City and bringing back Alex and Maggie's worst fears. But she also felt good, felt like she had been productive all day. With Alex’s help, she and a few other members of the Homicide team managed to narrow down the list Maggie brought up, figuring out from social media and obituaries which of the women had died from things like car accidents or terminal illness, as opposed to surgery or medical procedures. At that point, they were down to six main suspects. Their wives had all died in the past two years and, Alex was able to determine, had died at Dr. Cruz’s hospital (though her contacts had refused to break the rules and tell her if any of them were Dr. Cruz’s patients).

First up was Robert McFarlen, whose wife had died during a lumpectomy just about the time that Brandon Turner was convicted and sent to prison. On the phone he said he’d be more than happy to talk to them when he got home from work at 4. He seemed nice enough, Kara thought. While he wasn’t pleased at the insinuation that he might be a killer, he understood why they thought he could be.

“You’re asking about the copycat Surgeon case, aren’t you?” he asked. “You’re here because I lost my wife, like the Surgeon lost his?”

“Uh,” Kara paused, looking to James for guidance.

Even though they weren’t telling the suspects much more than the date, looking for alibis, looking for patterns of defensive behavior, James nodded. “We are.”

“Look, Detectives, I understand that you’re just doing your jobs, but I’m a surgeon myself. I understand that even in the most routine surgeries, there are risks. When you put someone under anesthesia, when you’re cutting someone open, there will always be risks. Was I sad and angry and devastated about my wife’s death? Of course. But it’s been two years.”

“A lot can happen in two years,” James noted.

“That’s true. But for me, those two years have been about healing, about making peace with what happened and learning to forgive the doctors and nurses who were involved. At some point, you need to move on with your own life. If anything, I think it’s made me a better doctor. I’m more attentive, more thoughtful when it comes to recommending even routine procedures.”

Kara nodded sympathetically. “Now, do you have someone who could vouch for your whereabouts on September 5th?”

Checking the calendar app on his phone, Robert nodded. “I was off work, so I went out golfing with a few of my buddies. I’m more than happy to provide you with their names if that’s what you need.”

Kara and James nodded. “That’d be great. Thank you for your help.”

\---

After they were done with McFarlen, they headed just a few blocks over to where Matt Hosner lived. Kara hoped with all of her heart that it wasn’t him. His wife had died during childbirth—something Alex assured her was almost criminally common in the US—and the possibility of a single father doing something so awful wasn’t an idea Kara wanted to entertain. He answered with the baby—now over a year old—in one arm and an iPad in the other.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Hosner?” Kara checked.

“Yes.”

“We tried calling earlier but didn’t get any response. We have a few questions about an ongoing investigation,” James explained.

“Oh…is this about the vandalism I reported last week? I really didn’t think you’d pursue it.”

“What?” Kara asked.

“The neighborhood kids who egged my house…right?”

“Oh, uh, no,” Kara shook her head. “Do you have time to talk?”

“I mean, I guess,” he shrugged. “I work from home now, so I can’t be too long.”

“Right, of course,” James nodded.

“We just need a few minutes of your time,” Kara added.

“Okay. Do you want to sit? Emma is a bit fussy since she just woke up, but I think if I get her some toys she’ll be okay for a few minutes.”

Kara nodded, smiling and waving at the baby.

“There’s, uh, no easy way to ask this,” James began once Matt was settled, “but we need to know where you were on the afternoon of September 5.”

“Am I being charged with something here?”

“No, we’re just trying to purse any possible leads, anyone with information or possible ties, that’s all we’re doing at this time,” Kara assured him.

Matt nodded. “Can I pull up my calendar? Single fatherhood means the days tend to run together…”

James and Kara nodded and waited as he pulled up his calendar app. “Uhm, let’s see, from 3-5 that day I was on a Skype call for the office’s monthly events meeting.”

“And do you have people who could verify that information?”

“I do,” Matt nodded. “Are their names and phone numbers enough?”

“Yes,” Kara replied, feeling increasingly relieved as Matt scrawled out a lengthy list of individuals who had hopefully seen him, on video, not killing someone that afternoon. Once he handed it over, they thanked him for his time and headed out.

\---

Feeling relieved about Hosner’s alibi, they drove across town to meet with Trevor Ward, only to find his apartment was empty with “For Rent” signs posted in the building. James called back to the precinct to ask someone to try to find updated records for Ward while Kara went to talk to the super.

“Anything?” James asked when Kara got back outside.

“Nope. She just said that Ward was fine as a tenant—paid his rent on time, didn’t have many complaints about anything, quiet guy. Didn’t leave a forwarding address, though, after he moved out in August.”

“Alright, well, we can’t rule him off our list. Of course, we can’t rule any of them off until we check their alibis, but we’ll have to try to get a new address for him, find out why he went off grid recently.

\---

The following morning, Kara and James got to the precinct early for meetings with two of their three remaining possible suspects. First up was Jacob Bronheim, an investment banker who had insisted that he be allowed a lawyer, even if he wasn’t being charged for anything. As he put it, he didn’t talk to lawyers, detectives, or agents without his own representation present.

“Good morning, Mr. Bronheim,” James greeted him as he walked into the conference room.

“Morning,” he replied curtly.

“What can my client help you with?” his lawyer asked, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.

“His name came up as part of an ongoing investigation. He is not being formally charged with anything, but we’d like to know his whereabouts on the afternoon of September 5.”

“If he’s not being charged, we don’t have to cooperate with this investigation,” the lawyer argued right back.

“While that’s true,” James admitted, turning his attention to Jacob, “we will continue to speak to other people at your work or in your life until we know whether you have an alibi. Because if you don’t, we can and will bring you in as an official suspect.”

“Right now we’re not looking for anything but a location for where you were that afternoon,” Kara added, her voice soft.

Jacob seemed to hesitate, pulling his lawyer aside to talk briefly with him. When they returned, the lawyer spoke once more: “Mr. Bronheim was in a personal meeting at the Baldwin hotel that afternoon.”

“Is there anyone who can verify that information?” James asked.

“I believe the hotel has video cameras in the garage,” Jacob answered.

“But are there people we could talk to?” Kara asked, pushing Jacob to give them something more, especially since he could have left his car in the garage and gotten to the scene of the murder in a million different ways.

Jacob sighed, looking at them as though the whole business was rather distasteful. “I was meeting with Emmett Parker.”

“And he’ll tell us the same thing?” James asked, looking suspicious.

“It depends on when you ask him,” Jacob shrugged.

“What does that mean?”

Rolling his eyes and smirking slightly, Jacob ignored the nervous looks his lawyer was shooting him and drawled, “It means that Emmett is married, but if you ask at the Baldwin, they can tell you that every Thursday we book the same room. And if you ask Emmett down at the bar instead of at home or at work, he’ll tell you the same.”

“Ah,” Kara nodded and tried to smile. “Thank you for this information. If you can just leave us the best way or times to contact him, you can be on your way.”

“Thank you, officers,” Jacob added, looking anything but respectful.

\---

Later that morning they met with Christopher Goodeman, an out-of-work architect whose life seemed to have gone downhill since his wife bled out on the operating table a year ago. Kara knew she shouldn’t rely only on instinct, especially before they even met the guy, but of all of them, he seemed to have the clearest motive and the most free time to have plotted things.

“Thank you for meeting with us, Mr. Goodeman,” Kara greeted him as he walked into the conference room.

“Not like I have much else to do these days,” he shrugged, looking rather upset.

“Right, um, we actually wanted to ask you about your schedule. Specifically about what you were doing on the afternoon of September 5th.”

“Am I being investigated for something here?”

“As part of an ongoing investigation, we’re looking into any possible lead, Mr. Goodeman,” Kara answered, trying to reassure him.

“Well I wasn’t around then.”

“Can you tell us where you were?”

He shrugged, looking increasingly agitated.

“Mr. Goodeman, it is in your best interest to tell us if you have an alibi,” James added, wanting to let Kara take point but also knowing it could be good to have two voices in an interview.

“I was in therapy,” he finally answered, looking up at them defensively, like he was challenging them to make any comments about it. God knows he’d heard enough of it from his father: what sort of man needs therapy? Why can’t you just get over it? This is why you can’t find a new job.

“And do you have a doctor who can verify the timing?” Kara asked.

He nodded, scribbling out the information when James passed over a notebook and pen. “Is that all?”

“It is,” Kara nodded. She wanted to tell him that they’d never judge someone for therapy, that if his defensiveness was about that, he really needn’t have worried. But she stayed quiet, watching as he pulled on his blazer and headed back out, his face a stoic mask.

\---

They didn’t have a chance to meet with the final suspect from their first round list until that afternoon: Major General Ryan Li, currently stationed in National City after serving two tours overseas.

“General Li,” James nodded when the man walked into the conference room. “Please sit,” he added, motioning to the chairs at the table.

“Good afternoon, Detectives.”

“Good afternoon,” Kara replied, smiling in the hopes that the man might relax his sharp expression. He did not.

“As we talked about on the phone yesterday, we’re investigating a crime that took place on the afternoon of September 5 and would like to talk to you about your whereabouts that day.”

“I was home sick.”

“Do you have anyone who can verify that?” Kara chimed in.

Ryan shook his head. “I spoke to another officer from the base that morning to let her know I wouldn’t be in, and I saw a doctor around noon. Otherwise I was home in bed resting.”

“Could we at least get the names and contact information for those two individuals?” James asked, passing over the notebook once more.

\---

“So far the alibis we have seem to be checking out,” James informed Maggie, looking just as disappointed as she did. “We’re still looking for a new address for Trevor Ward, so he might be our lead suspect, since he seems to have disappeared. Ryan Li doesn’t have an alibi, but his doctor, after getting permission from Li, confirmed that he was sick enough to make her think that getting out of bed would have been difficult. We’re waiting to hear back from a couple of the people whose contact information we were given to check alibis, but they all at least checked out as real people, real numbers, no records, save for a drunk and disorderly and a DUI.”

Maggie let out a noise of frustration. She wanted this case handled and done with now. The longer it lingered, the more at risk someone else was, and she couldn’t shake the fear that it would involve the precinct, that the note had been left for them to find for a reason. She worried about Alex as a doctor. She worried about herself as the holdover from the first case, the other thing that Turner hadn’t quite finished. She worried about Kara and James and J’onn and everyone working this awful case. But most of all she was angry and frustrated beyond belief. She didn’t want to wake up sweating and shaking every night. She didn’t want to jump at every noise. She wanted it all to be over.

She listened halfheartedly as James listed off the names of people they were still trying to reach, as he suggested going back to Alex to get a longer list of names, expanding out the search to include people with children, rather than wives, who had died. He wondered if they should also expand out to include women, even though they were statistically much less likely to be serial killers.

“I’ll go talk to Alex,” Maggie volunteered, figuring it would be good to get away from the bullpen, away from the photos on the wall, the reminders that they still hadn’t ruled anyone out or even promoted some to prime suspects.

She stormed downstairs, trying not to let her fear and anger guide her, trying to think rationally about a case that stirred far too many emotions.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Alex asked, having heard Maggie coming from all the way down the hallway.

“Nothing. That’s exactly what’s wrong!” Maggie spat out, shutting the door and sinking down into the couch.

“Want to explain?” Alex asked, hovering in front of her desk, unsure of whether Maggie wanted her in her space just then.

“Nothing,” Maggie sighed. “It’s just, there’s no progress on this case. They’re going through your list, but almost everyone we can find has an alibi, and so far they’re all checking out. But the longer we wait, the better the odds are that he’ll find his next victim.”

“It’s okay,” Alex repeated, settling down onto the couch and stroking soothing patterns across Maggie’s back.

“No, it’s not,” Maggie snapped.

“Don’t yell at me! I’m not doing anything wrong here.”

“I know, I know. Sorry,” Maggie mumbled, dropping her head into her hands. “I’m just so tired of feeling like this all the time.”

“I get that. Do you want to see if Dr. Jefferson is in? Or you can talk to me?”

“No,” Maggie shook her head. “I don’t want to be sad or process things. I want to be allowed to be angry. I want to hit something and yell. I want to do anything to make me forget for half a damn minute!”

“What about me?” Alex suggested, looking up at the clock.

“What?”

“Not the hitting part, obviously. But what if we help each other forget?”

“I don’t want to use you like that, Alex.”

“Maggie,” Alex snapped, leveling her girlfriend with a hard glare. “You think this case isn’t affecting me? You think you’re the only one that wants to see it end?”

“Oh, uh, no, no that’s not what I meant.”

“I know. So what I’m saying is, it’ll be 5 o’clock in just a few minutes. Why don’t we go home and lose our cool together, huh?”

“Yeah—yeah, okay,” Maggie nodded.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, angst, case, angst. Sorry!

 

 

The door slammed behind them, locks sliding shut under hurried fingers. Alex hands were hot on Maggie’s waist, already pulling her shirt out from undone pants. She tried to remain patient while undoing the buttons of Maggie's shirt but found herself unwilling, perhaps even unable, to wait that long and yanked the oxford the rest of the way open before she was finished, grinning in satisfaction at the sight even as the sound of a handful of buttons clattering against the floor echoed in the silence.

Maggie didn’t complain about the shirt, but she sucked harder on Alex’s lower lip, pulled Alex forward by the belt loops a little more roughly than she normally would. The low groan Alex let out had Maggie surging forward, pushing her backward and toward the bedroom.

By the time they made it to the bed, both of their shirts had found their way to the ground. Alex pushed Maggie back onto the mattress, slipping her hand beneath her waistband, not even bothering to push her pants down, let alone take the time to remove them altogether. Gathering arousal on her fingers, Alex moved them back up, rubbing hard, fast circles around Maggie’s clit. Crying out, Maggie tangled her hands in the back of Alex’s hair, dragging Alex down as her hips bucked up into Alex’s touch. When she came, it was with a sharp gasp that felt a little bit like letting go, like releasing some of the stress and anger pent up inside her.

Within seconds, she had Alex on her back. She dragged Alex’s pants down over long, lean legs, letting her fingers scratch angry red lines across taut muscles that had Alex hissing and forcefully pulling Maggie back down. She groaned as Maggie’s hand found her—wet and waiting and desperate—two fingers slipping easily inside of her. She let her head drop back to the pillows, let her mind go blissfully blank, filled with nothing more than the image of Maggie looking thoroughly fucked, still wearing a black bra and unbuttoned black pants, kneeling over her, thrusting into her.

“Harder,” Alex demanded, rolling her hips up to meet Maggie’s every thrust.

And with a nod of confirmation from Alex, Maggie moved harder, thrust deeper into Alex. The sound of Alex’s deep, throaty moans had Maggie dropping down to Alex’s thigh, too turned on to care that she was ruining a pair of underwear, that there was something so fucking desperate about needing to grind against Alex’s thigh, to come again so soon after she already had, to come so quickly she couldn’t even take the time to kick off her work pants.

Alex’s hands grabbed at her waist, at her hips, at her ass, pulling her further into her. The air filled with the sounds of low moans and muttered curses and whimpers for more, harder, faster. And then Alex was coming, her walls clenching around Maggie’s fingers, pulling her in deeper, holding her there, as she rode out her orgasm, managing to keep her eyes open just long enough to see Maggie toss her head back, her mouth open in a silent scream as her hips stuttered against Alex’s thigh.

\---

The next morning, Alex was pulled from her sleep at what felt like a truly unreasonable hour by her phone ringing shrilly from the floor where it had fallen with the rest of her clothing.

“Danvers,” she managed, her voice still thick with sleep.

“Doctor Danvers,” J’onn’s voice came through loud and clear. “We’ve got multiple dead bodies from an apartment fire downtown. I need you right away to assess the scene. We’re trying to determine whether it was arson or an accident.”

“On it,” Alex confirmed. “Can you send me the address? I’ll head straight there.”

J’onn confirmed with Alex and hung up the phone. Alex stumbled around the still-dark room, looking for the cleanest looking clothing she could find. Once she had on a pair of dark jeans and a button up that could pass as “artfully” wrinkled, Alex tip-toed out to the kitchen, scrawling a note for Maggie to let her know where she went. With a forlorn glance back at Maggie still sleeping peacefully in bed, Alex finally let herself out and headed down to get her bike.

By the time Alex got to the crime scene, the firefighters were heading out, and the EMTs were leaving with anyone injured enough to need transport to the hospital. She quickly spotted J’onn along with a few of the other homicide officers who weren’t currently working full-time on the copycat Surgeon case.

“Morning, Alex,” J’onn said, looking slightly less put together than he usually did, as though the ongoing investigation coupled with this new fire were finally getting to him.

“Morning,” Alex greeted. “Do you have bodies for me to examine?”

“The EMTs are transporting them—they were people they tried saving but found it was already too late. They’ll be waiting in the autopsy lab for when you get back. There was only one victim already dead when they got to him; I wanted your professional opinion on whether there might be proof of death before the fire even began. I need to know if this investigation should be for something more than just possible arson.”

“Got it,” Alex nodded, following J’onn over to the body. One of the Assistant MEs, Mariana, was already waiting with her bag, and she quickly pulled on gloves and got to work examining the body.

After a while, Alex shook her head. “I think I’m going to need to look at the body back in the lab. There’s so much damage from the fire that I really need more tools at my disposal. And if we can get the exact times for the fire—do we have surveillance footage? Notes on when the smoke detectors went off?—that would be helpful.”

“I’ll let the officer in charge of the investigation know.”

“Thanks.” Alex groaned as she stood up, feeling a dull ache just about everywhere from the long night she’d spent with Maggie after work yesterday. She tried subtly stretching as she made her way back to her bike, not looking forward to a long day spent hunched over bodies.

\---

By the time she got back to the precinct, Alex was looking forward to a hot mug of even the mediocre coffee they had in the break room and a chance to sit down even just for a moment. Instead, she found Maggie irate and almost in tears outside her lab.

“What the fuck!” Maggie yelled, sounding more than a little breathless.

“What happened?” Alex asked, pulling Maggie into her office in the hopes of getting a bit of privacy.

“What happened? Really? I wake up and you’re gone, and that isn’t enough of something to have happened?”

“Okay, Maggie, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Maggie snapped.

“Okay…I’m sorry. I left you a note, though, Mags. J’onn called and needed me for a case. There was a huge fire downtown, maybe one murder victim, a few other dead bodies that are all headed over here too.”

“You should have woken me!”

“You were exhausted! This was the first time you’ve slept through the whole night in ages.”

“Alex,” Maggie sighed, feeling as though her whole body was deflating as she let go of some of the anger that she’d used to bolster herself through the morning. “Do you understand how fucking scary it is to wake up and find you gone, find the house empty? At least while all of this is going on, please, please, just be extra cautious.”

“I went out to meet a bunch of cops and detectives. I left a note. But, fine, I get it. I will wake you in the future, okay?”

“Okay.” Maggie scuffed her shoes along the floor. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“And I’m sorry for not waking you. I really thought letting you get some sleep would be the kinder thing to do.”

“I get it, but in the future, just know that the kindest thing you can do for me is letting me know you’re safe.”

“Noted.”

“Nerd.”

“Eh, you’re into it.”

“So much so, Dr. Danvers,” Maggie winked.

\---

Later that day, Maggie texted: “Want to make up for this morning by taking me out to lunch?”

“Would love to, but have six bodies in the lab now :( autopsies for days…”

“Damn. Bad fire, huh?”

“Are you not on the case?”

“No. Full time on copycat Surgeon.”

“Any leads?”

“Not yet. Kara and James are still tracking down addresses and alibis.”

“Good luck to them. And you. Duh.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll try to leave on time for dinner, though,” Alex sent, wondering how urgent the autopsies were for the five individuals that weren’t suspected murder victims.

“Sounds good, babe. Love you.”

“You too.”

Figuring there was no real use in going out to eat alone, Maggie got in on the office takeout order before settling back in at her desk, going back over case files and lists of possible suspects and the statements Kara and James had taken, desperately looking for anything that might help them get to the murderer. On the plus side, Kara and James had tracked down a new address for Trevor Ward and had gone out to get a statement from him about his whereabouts on September 5th. Even though Maggie didn’t hold out too much hope these days, at least he didn’t yet have an alibi. At least there was a chance.

\---

Maggie settled in with her sandwich, lacking even the company of Kara or James, since they were still out waiting for Ward to get home. As much as she normally hated when her phone rang, today she was almost grateful for the distraction it would provide from her sad, lonely lunch.

“Detective Sawyer.”

“Detective Sawyer, this is Officer Reyes from National City’s Maximum Security Detention Center.”

Maggie tried not to panic. Just because an officer called her personally didn’t mean anything huge had happened. The first instinct to think that Turner had escaped was totally irrational, she reasoned. It was called maximum security for a reason…right?

“Detective Sawyer?”

“Yes, sorry,” Maggie hastened to answer. “What is it, Officer?”

“One of our prisoners, Brandon Turner, is asking to see you.”

“But he’s still locked up?”

“Absolutely.”

Maggie sighed in relief, feeling her racing heart slow incrementally with every deep breath. “But he wants to see me?”

“He claims to have information about an ongoing investigation.”

“I’ll be down in an hour or two.”

“Thank you, Detective.”

Maggie quickly ran to inform J’onn. She had hoped something like this would happen, that the news about the copycat killer murdering a man Turner saw as his rightful victim might drive him to snap, to turn on his adoring protégé. With J’onn’s permission, Maggie headed out after lunch, sending a quick text to Alex, figuring she should follow her own advice: “Going to interview Turner once more. Fingers crossed for progress!” She sent similar texts to Kara and James as well, hoping that they might get something too.

\---

“Do you think he actually lives here?” Kara asked, popping another potato chip into her mouth as their stakeout of Ward’s apartment entered the third hour.

“We have it on good authority that he does,” James shrugged. “Supposedly he’s a bartender, so I’m sure he just keeps weird hours.”

“Fine,” Kara sighed, wishing (not for the first time) that police work could move a little faster sometimes. But at least James had let them stop for snacks. The chips and Twizzlers were keeping her entertained.

\---

“So, I hear you’ve had a miraculous recovery of old memories,” Maggie taunted, leaning onto the counter across from the thick Plexiglass.

“Something like that,” Turner growled.

“You gonna give me a name?”

“What do I get in return?”

“You really think you’re in a position to bargain?” Maggie let out a bark of a laugh.

“Are you?” Turner challenged.

“You’re here serving three consecutive life sentences. What, you want me to see if they’ll commute your sentence? Drop one of those lives?”

“You can laugh all you want, Maggie, but I know you want information.”

\---

Alex sighed, dropping her head into her hands. She felt like she’d been hunched over dead bodies for hours, but she was only on the second one, and they still had no conclusive answers about the possible murder victim that had taken first priority.

She texted Maggie, knowing she was with Turner but wanting to talk to someone who would understand. “Takeout and a hot bath tonight? I’m only on autopsy number 2. Still have 4 more bodies. My neck is already killing me.”

But then Mariana was back with the tools she had requested and the results from the toxicology report she’d asked Lena to prepare, and Alex forced a professional smile onto her face as she greeted the young woman.

\---

“Is it a…thing?” Kara asked, leaning back in her seat.

“No,” James answered, sighing as he peered through the binoculars again.

“Is it a person?”

“Yes,” James nodded.

“A real person?”

“Yep.”

“Living?”

“Nope.”

“Woman?”

“Yes.”

“Famous?”

“Mhm.”

“American?”

“No.”

“Was she a political figure?”

“Yeah…wait,” James stopped, focusing his binoculars on the apartment door across the street. “I think that’s our guy.”

Kara quickly propped her seat back upright, peering out the window. “Ready to go?”

“Yep, let’s go get some answers.”

\---

Maggie slammed back into her chair. She hated the idea of giving Turner anything, but she wanted answers. “I hear you hate solitary.”

“It’s been called inhumane by more than one leading expert. Heard it makes us criminals even crazier.”

“What if I could get you out of solitary.”

“Permanently?”

“On the basis of good behavior.”

“I think you might find that I have information you so desperately want, Maggie.”

Maggie’s lip curled back in distaste. “I’ll see what I can do.” She strolled back, far away from Turner. She knew she already had approval to make this deal, knew that Turner had been on good behavior recently, knew they had already been contemplating allowing him to move back into general population. He didn’t need to know these things.

Several minutes later she returned. “I can make that deal on the condition that your information is good.”

“Fine,” Turner relented.

\---

Mariana yawned as she pushed the second body back into the drawer. “Hey, you should go home. Get some rest,” Alex said. “You were at the crime scene far earlier than I was this morning. It’s been what…11, 12 hours already?”

“Uh, a little over 11, yeah,” Mariana admitted. “But you’re still here.”

“Not for that much longer,” Alex laughed, even though she knew she’d probably push herself to get through the third autopsy. She’d feel accomplished if she could say she was at least half finished by the time she left.

“Are you sure, Dr. Danvers?”

“Alex is really okay, and yes, I promise, it’s fine. Go home. Get some sleep. Just be back and ready to work tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Mariana nodded, smiling gratefully at Alex. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

\---

“Look, I don’t have an alibi for the 5th, but I swear I didn’t do anything!” Trevor protested.

“What about on the 10th?” James asked.

“I wasn’t even in National City!”

“Can you prove it?” Kara interjected.

“Yes! I went and crashed with my brother for a week before moving into a new place here.”

“We’ll need his number.”

“You can have it. I swear. I’m not the guy you’re looking for.”

\---

“This guy, he was obsessive. Knew everything about me. And he’s smart, made suggestions about ways I could have improved my technique.”

“I bet you loved that,” Maggie scoffed.

“Said I could be his assistant,” Turner grumbled.

“Oh really? So he took command?”

“Yeah. Never signed with a name. Instead he had the audacity to list himself as ‘The Real Surgeon,’ as if I weren’t the original.”

\---

“Ward’s alibi checks out,” Kara called out, sliding into the circle for the impromptu meeting J’onn had called when they all returned.

“Turner says we’re looking for someone smart, controlling, self-important. He calls himself, ‘The Real Surgeon.’”

“Should we get Alex and Lena up here to see if they can’t adapt the algorithm somehow?” James asked, rubbing at his temples as he tried to chase away the headache that had been bothering him for days now.

“Don’t disturb Alex,” J’onn insisted. “She’s already got five bodies to autopsy down there.”

“Six,” Maggie corrected.

“No, five arson victims.”

“Plus the possible murder victim,” Maggie explained.

“No, including the possible murder victim,” J’onn insisted.

And then Maggie was off, bolting for the stairs, charging down them and into the lab. “Alex! Alex!”

“What is going on?” J’onn asked, making his way downstairs with Kara and James trailing behind him.

“She’s gone. He has her,” Maggie panted.


	20. Chapter 20

“What do you mean?” J’onn asked, his words, his tone, his demeanor—all of it far too calm for Maggie’s liking. 

“I mean she’s gone! He took her—the last one to ‘even the score,’” Maggie snapped. 

“She could have simply gone home,” James offered. “It’s already well after 5.”

“She would have told me,” Maggie insisted, thinking that after the conversation they’d had just that morning Alex certainly wouldn’t have just left without saying something for the second time that day. “We don’t have time for this! Every minute we waste debating whether or not something has happened is a minute longer without her. We’re all cops; we all know what they say about kidnappings—48 hours is our window.” She didn’t add that this copycat killer seemed determined to do more, to do worse, to ensure that no matter when they got to Alex it would be too late.

“She’s not answering,” Kara informed the group, having stepped to the side to try the second she heard Maggie’s words. “We need to do something now.”

“Let’s think about what we know,” J’onn said, trying to stay calm, knowing that they needed cool reason on their side if they were going to get Alex back.

As impatient as Maggie was, as much as she wanted to get out there and do something, to get Alex back rather than just standing around, she understood the reason for J’onn’s slowness to rush into action.

“Should we go over our suspect list?” Kara asked, needing to do something, anything to help rescue her sister.

“Didn’t you say all of their alibis checked out?” Maggie asked, feeling herself growing increasingly impatient with every dead end.

“We’re still checking some of them,” James explained, mentally going through the list, trying to figure out who had been suspicious, whose alibis hadn’t checked out.

“Okay, but what about what Turner said? What about the lab? Can we dust it for prints? Are there security cameras? Come on,” Maggie nearly growled, not understanding why they didn’t seem to be grasping the urgency of the situation.

“James, can you call in some of the crime scene techs to look over the lab? I’ll pull the security footage. Maggie and Kara, you start comparing your notes from your interviews with Turner and with the suspects, come up with a narrowed down list,” J’onn ordered. He was not about to lose Alex; he would not fail her.

\---  
Alex’s vision swam and her stomach lurched as she finally managed to get her head upright. She blinked open her eyes only to find some kind of heavy dark cloth around them. Tugging on her wrists and ankles, she found them bound tightly.

“Someone’s awake,” came a voice from behind her.

“Who are you?” Alex barked, trying to sound braver than she felt.

“The Surgeon, obviously,” he laughed.

“I think someone else already claimed that title,” Alex taunted, knowing it probably wasn’t the best idea, but hoping she might be able to bait him into giving something away.

“Yet here I am, while he rots in prison. I did things he never could. I was smart enough to avenge my own wife’s killer first.” Alex felt the smallest bit pleased with herself and Lena for guessing correctly on the killer’s profile. “Then I killed Cruz, which he never got around to doing. And I have to wonder how it would feel to fail your own wife like that, to go after doctors in her name, but never bother to avenge her…” A bark of a laugh. “I guess that’s just why I’m the successful one. And now I’m going to get revenge on that little cop he was so obsessed with.”

“They’ll come for me,” Alex spat back. “You won’t get away with this.”

“Maybe. But I know that you won’t get away with your life.”

\---

Trying to pull himself together, to affect a semblance of control, J’onn strolled back out of his office and into the bullpen where Maggie and Kara were clicking through names and profiles up on the computer.

“What’d you find?” Maggie asked, her voice tinged with a desperation she might have once tried to mask.

“He knew where the cameras were already and kept his back on them, but I’ve sent the video footage down to Lena and Winn, who I called back in, and they’re going to figure out approximate height and weight to compare to our suspects.”

“Do we have time for that?” Kara chimed in, trying not to let her nerves show. Because they were going to get Alex back; they had to get Alex back.

“It’s the closest thing to hard evidence we have.”

“How’d he even get her out of here?” Maggie snapped. “This is a fucking police station. Shouldn’t someone have seen a goddam kidnapping going on?”

“He was dressed as an EMT and snuck her out the back, so they only had to go past two or three people,” J’onn explained. “I followed our footage as far as I could, but when he turns the block, he’s out of our range.”

James, who had come upstairs during this, added, “I’ve got techs sweeping the lab. I gave them the footage to see if they could find areas where they might find trace evidence or fingerprints for our copycat killer, but they said it might take a while.”

“So we have nothing?” Kara checked, needing that not to be true, needing to hear that J’onn was somehow saving better news, that they knew more about Alex’s kidnapper than…whatever that was.

“We have something. We’ve solved crimes on less,” J’onn insisted. “Now tell me what you have.”

“I think it’s McFarlen,” Maggie declared. “He’s literally a real surgeon. The nickname the killer gave himself makes sense. He’s smart enough to figure these things out.”

“And he has an alibi,” Kara interrupted.

“You said one person vouched for him. That’s not that hard to fake. And you only asked about the 5th.”

“But what about all of the suspects we didn’t investigate?” James offered. “There were plenty of people not included on our initial list. There might even be other surgeons in there.”

“What about Li and Ward? They don’t have alibis for the 5th,” Kara suggested.

“I don’t have time to go through a whole fucking list!” Maggie snapped. “The woman I love is going to die if we don’t act, so for once, I’m going with my gut.”

“Detective Sawyer, a word?” J’onn asked. His voice was calm, but his tone left no room for argument.

\---

Alex tried to keep her heart rate slow, to keep her breathing in check. She tried to remember the smell, the sounds, anything that might help them to identify the killer if she got away. She heard the sound of heavy footfalls coming near. And then there were hands on her, and as hard as she bucked against her restraints, she wasn’t moving.

“Calm down,” he ordered. “You know what comes next.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex snapped, her voice higher pitched than she would have liked it to be.

“You saw the bodies, did you not? You know my calling card. Now hold still so we don’t have to start all over.”

Alex held her breath as fingers that didn’t belong to her, didn’t belong to Maggie, slowly opened her shirt.

“It’s nothing personal,” he assured her, uncapping the marker. And then there was just the feeling of something cold, of something foreign, marking her, tracing circles and lines across her abdomen.

“Your wife wouldn’t want this,” Alex tried. “This isn’t the way to honor her memory.”

“My wife’s dead. We’ll never know what she wanted, so you’re stuck with what I want.”

\---

“I understand that your heart is in this case, but you need to think carefully, strategically. You need warrants and backup. You cannot simply take off on some gut feeling,” J’onn said, sitting across from Maggie at his desk

“It’s not just a gut feeling,” Maggie insisted. “It makes sense. This man calls himself the real surgeon; McFarlen is a real surgeon. In the interview, he asked Kara and James if it was about the copycat Surgeon before they had said anything.”

“It was all over the news; it makes sense, given that his profile is quite similar to Turner’s.”

“Still! And his alibi for the 5th is one guy, one friend, who didn’t give times, just said that yeah, he and McFarlen had gone golfing. He could have done both, could have gone out, then come back just in time to kill the first doctor.”

“Even if I say I trust you on this, where’s your proof for a warrant? Where’s your plan?”

“You know as well as I do about exigent circumstances. Kidnapping is one!”

“And your plan?”

“I have a gun.”

“That’s not a plan.”

“Fine, I’ll get another officer!” Maggie snapped, needing to get out of there already.

“I’m coming with you,” J’onn said simply, his tone resolute. “Now go put on Kevlar and meet me out front in 5.”

“What? Sir?”

“You act as though I’m trying to hold you back from saving Alex when it is the very thing I want most too. But I also want everything to be carried out well. This isn’t a mission where mistakes can be allowed to happen.”

“Understood, sir.” Maggie nodded, feeling her own resolve strengthen.

\---

“NCPD! Open up!” Maggie yelled from the front door.

Nothing.

J’onn knocked harder and called out again.

Still no answer.

With a nod, J’onn kicked down the door, and he and Maggie made their way through the first floor, clearing rooms as they went. With every cleared room, Maggie felt a moment of relief followed by another pang of fear. Why was it empty? Where was Alex?

\---

“Doesn’t really seem like they’re coming for you,” the man’s voice taunted.

“You don’t know that,” Alex bit back. She knew Maggie, knew Kara, knew J’onn, knew they’d be mobilizing every resource they had to come find her. She just had to survive until they did, just needed to hold on a little longer.

“And yet…here we still are.”

\---

“Fuck!” Maggie yelled into what they had now determined was an empty house. She wanted to scream and cry and rage. She wanted to throw things and demand answers and hold the whole town until she found Alex.

J’onn didn’t let his fear or his anger show. He paced. Cold. Rational. Collected. He called back to the precinct, asking if they’d found anything more, talking to James, Kara, and Lena in turn.

“Anything?” Maggie asked, her voice cracked and broken.

“The killer is approximately 5’10”-6’ tall. Slightly on the lean side. They’re still processing all of the prints and DNA, but it’s a lab; there are a lot of people and bodies in and out of there.”

Maggie nodded, trying not to let her disappointment show. “How tall is McFarlen?”

“6 foot.”

“So it could still be him? He could be keeping her somewhere else.”

“I asked about that,” J’onn continued. “He has a second house down by the lake. Apparently it was his wife’s. I told them we’d go check it out, and asked that they send a second team for backup.”

\---

This time they didn’t yell, didn’t announce their arrival. Because there were tire tracks in the mud from the rain that had only fallen recently; there was proof of life here. They did a lap of the perimeter, looking through windows, peering in small panes of doorways, before meeting back up at the front door.

“I saw nothing on the first floor. Did you find anything?” J’onn asked.

“No,” Maggie shook her head.

“Backup will be here in 10. Then we can go in.”

“It’s one guy, J’onn. We can take him!”

“What if he has backup? Do you want to put Alex’s life at risk that way?”

“And what if he kills her as soon as we knock? He wants revenge; this isn’t your typical hostage situation.”

J’onn considered it, finally nodding his assent. “Detective Sawyer? Maggie?”

“Yeah?”

“Be safe.”

“You too.”

J’onn nodded, and then he was off, picking the lock to the front door and carefully prying it open. The first floor was as dark and empty as they’d seen through the windows, but he thought he heard something coming from the basement. With a nod to Maggie, J’onn inched toward the door leading downstairs, listening for any movement coming his way. He pulled his gun out and clicked off the safety, motioning for Maggie to stay behind him and do the same as he eased the door open.

“What do you want?” J’onn heard Alex’s voice and had to keep himself from jumping into action, had to force himself to maintain his slow pace, to make sure he could do something for her instead of watching helplessly as something happened.

Maggie’s jaw clenched, and she tried not to bolt down there, tried to stay calm. She was vindicated in her suspicions, but god, how much she would give for it to all have been a misunderstanding.

“You know this bargaining is growing tiresome, Alexandra,” a man’s voice—McFarlen’s voice, Maggie corrected herself, echoed up the stairs.

She watched as J’onn eased himself down a few stairs, motioning for Maggie to stay midway down where the wall still fully hid her from sight, to wait for his signal. She tried to remember that he wanted what was best for Alex too, that he would fight just as hard for her as she would.

Peering around the wall, J’onn took note of the layout of the room, the fact that Alex was bound and blindfolded.

“Are you ready to die, Alexandra?” he asked. “You should really count your blessings. I’ve given you time to make your peace. Do you know what my wife heard? She heard that it would be fine, that she’d see me in just a few hours. She was told it was routine, low risk. And then they had the audacity to tell me there were always risks. They wouldn’t let me perform the surgery because that— _that_ was the risk. But it wasn’t really. No, I would have kept her alive, would never have let her die like that, die without warning.”

As McFarlen pulled out the needle full of that toxic compound, J’onn stepped forward, gun held high. “NCPD! Drop the weapon!”

“Oh look,” he laughed. “They did come for you. It’s a shame it’s too late.”

“Put down the needle!” J’onn ordered, his voice deep and booming. “I will shoot if you do not put down that weapon.”

“You wouldn’t want to shoot your dear ME, though,” McFarlen mused, stepping behind Alex so that almost all of him was covered. “Besides, wouldn’t it be a shame to shoot me only to watch your Alexandra die.” He made a show of holding the needle up to her neck.

Slowly, J’onn inched his way further into the room. “You don’t want to do this.”

McFarlen let out a barking laugh. “Everyone keeps talking to me like they know what I want. You know what I want? I want the world to feel what I had to feel. And telling me otherwise isn’t going to change a damn thing about it.”

“But if you kill her, if you so much as touch her again, you will just make things worse for yourself.”

“Things are already as bad as they can get.”

“Stop!” J’onn yelled as McFarlen moved to press the needle into Alex’s neck. But he had positioned himself so that J’onn couldn’t get a shot off without going through Alex.

Before J’onn could charge forward, a shot rang out from the stairs, a bullet shattering the end of the needle and McFarlen’s hand. J’onn rushed to Alex, pulling her away from McFarlen and cutting away the cords and ties that bound her, freeing her from the blindfold.

Maggie ran at McFarlen, already yelling him his rights as she pulled out her cuffs. But before she could make it all the way across the spacious basement, he had grabbed a second needle from behind him and had it in his own arm before Maggie could stop him.

“Call for paramedics!” Maggie barked.

J’onn nodded, putting in a call for even more medics, since he had already called for Alex just in case any of the poison had gotten into her system from the second before Maggie could shoot, the second he couldn’t help viewing as a personal failing on his part.

“They’re on their way,” he managed.

And then Maggie was by his side, reaching out to hold Alex’s hand, finally letting the tears she’d been holding in since finding Alex’s empty lab fall. “You’re okay. You’re okay. We’ve got you, Alex. We’re here.”

“I knew you would be,” Alex whispered, her whole body still trembling even with two sets of warm arms wrapped around her. “I knew I just needed to hold on a little longer.

“We’ve got you,” Maggie repeated, letting the words wash over them like a mantra as they waited for the EMTs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things wrapped up a little quickly, but when I went into more detail, I feared it started veering into torture porn a bit with Alex (and I also knew if it went longer, I wouldn't be done writing in time to post without splitting it up into another chapter). Apologies to those who wanted more angst! (And you're welcome to the ones who wanted the angst over a couple of chapters ago!)


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and smut to round out this AU!

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Megan announced, setting down two flutes of champagne in front of Alex and Maggie.

“To six months together and many more to come,” Maggie offered in a toast.

“And may they be so much less eventful,” Alex added, clinking her glass against Maggie’s.

“Would we really be us without the adventure, though?” 

Alex thought back over their time together: from Maggie’s being shot, to Alex’s being kidnapped, she suspected she could live with a little less of that particular kind of adventure. “What if we were just adventurous in new ways?"

“Mm, are we thinking of a couple’s bucket list?”

“Maybe. I mean, c’mon, we’ve already both checked off ‘Almost Died.’ How much crazier can it get?”

“Dear god, make it less crazy. Please, make it so much less crazy,” Maggie chuckled, sipping at the champagne Megan had insisted they accept on the house.

“Let’s think, what have we done?”

“Gay Panic: check.”

“Oh god, yeah, sorry about that,” Alex muttered, shaking her head at herself. “Only took a gunshot to pull me to my senses.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I waited for three long years of being in love with my best friend before I did anything about it.”

“That’s only cause you thought I was straight.”

“Oh, sweetie, I never really thought you were straight.” After a pause, Maggie added, “Well, maybe. Or at least so deep inside that closet that you were never coming out to see the rest of your fabulous house.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughed. “We’ve now both been kidnapped. And by a serial killer and his copycat, no less.”

Maggie couldn’t quite repress the shudder that still ran through her at the memory. She knew she had made it to Alex on time, knew the doctors had assured her that nowhere near a lethal dosage of the toxins had gotten into Alex’s bloodstream, knew that McFarlen was long dead, would never be coming back, but that didn’t stop the nightmares that still woke her—less frequently now, but returning on her bad days.

“Hey, I’m still here, right? You were there for me. You saved me.”

“I know, I just…you know it scares me to think about the possibility. What if I had been too late?”

“You weren’t. You and J’onn were there for me just like I knew you would be. Come on, let’s think of our better memories, right? Today’s about celebrating us.”

“Right, yes, sorry.” Maggie grinned as she thought back over the best moments from their past six months together. “Well, even though we weren’t technically ‘together’ yet, we did do Pride.”

Chuckling, Alex nodded. “I believe Lucy is already planning this coming year’s adventures. As she put it, ‘Now that you’re out we can have real fun!’”

“Oh, I’m sure. If it’s anything like her New Year’s Eve party, though, I don’t know if we’ll survive.” Her stomach churned at the mere memory of just how much she’d let herself be talked into drinking that night—from the drinking games they’d begun the night with to the near countless toasts that had required more and more champagne. They were all pretty drunk by the time Lucy decided to play DJ, blasting music from their high school and college years that had them taking over Lucy’s living room and dancing like fools. She vaguely remembered groping Alex on the sofa while the ball dropped, and the next morning she’d woken up with a splitting headache and her hand still under Alex’s shirt.

“Maybe this year we moderate our fun… We managed alright at Kara and Lena’s big holiday party.”

“Fair point,” Maggie conceded. “Now, what else do we want to plan to do together? Hopes? Dreams? Goals?”

“Why, Maggie Sawyer, who’d have thought you’d be planning out a relationship so far in advance?” Alex teased.

“Why, Alex Danvers, who’d have thought you’d be in one?” Maggie taunted back, winking at Alex as she sipped from her champagne glass.

Alex just laughed. “Well, I’d love to go on a trip somewhere with you.”

“Got any destinations in mind?”

“I don’t know. As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“That’s cheesy as fuck, Danvers.”

“You love it.”

“So does that mean I get to pick where we’re going?”

“Depends. What do you have in mind?”

“Well if we’re staying in the US, I’d love to do a train trip across the country. Did you know it’s actually pretty affordable? I don’t know, I never really traveled much growing up, and it could be a pretty cool way to see the country. Plus, we could pretend we’re, like, old-timey lesbians journeying to new frontiers!”

Unable to resist any longer, Alex leaned across the table and kissed Maggie soundly, pulling back only when she couldn’t keep the corners of her mouth from turning up any longer.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

“You’re just too cute,” Alex replied by way of explanation. “And, yes, that sounds like something I’d be up for doing.”

“Really?”

“With you, I think I’d be up for just about anything.”

“You really have gone soft on me,” Maggie teased. “But now it’s your turn. What’s something you want to put on our bucket list?”

“Hmm.” Alex thought for a few minutes as they picked at the food that had been delivered while Maggie was talking. “What if, well, no, maybe it’s dumb.”

“Hey, I’m sure it’s not,” Maggie reassured her.

“I just, I thought maybe we could learn how to dance—like, properly dance.”

“I think you’re already a pretty amazing dancer, Danvers,” Maggie purred.

“Not that kind of dancing,” Alex hissed, her face coloring slightly at the thought of the time they’d let Lucy—god, it was always Lucy—drag them all out to a club. Without really thinking about it, she’d let herself slip back into the style of dancing she’d gotten used to during her years in grad school, and it wasn’t until she turned around to find Maggie looking at her with unabashed desire that she’d realized it might be a little much (or just right, as Maggie insisted later that night). “I mean…I meant ballroom dancing.”

“Oh? Oh, yeah, we can definitely do that! Plus, good practice for a wedding,” she said before she could really consider the implications of her words.

“Is that so?”

“I mean all weddings, Danvers! Kara and Lena have been dating for a while. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, you know! And I’ve got friends from Gotham. And I’m sure you have friends.”

“Hey, Maggie?” 

“Uh, yeah?” Maggie asked, looking down at the table as she shoved a few of her sweet potato fries into her mouth.

“I agree,” Alex said simply, leaving it at that as she picked up her burger.

“Right, yeah, um, so, what else?” Maggie stammered, though the grin on her face gave her away.

“Well, are there any things we can do right away?” 

“I mean…I’m sure there are some things we could do in bed right away,” Maggie offered, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Or not in bed…” Alex trailed off, thinking back to something Maggie had mentioned several months ago.

“Got a place in mind? Want to christen The Dirty Robber’s bathrooms?”

“I think Megan would kill us,” Alex laughed. “But maybe you finish that sandwich and let me show you?” And if Maggie ate a little faster than she normally would have, could anyone really blame her?

\---

“Is this—are we doing what I hope we’re doing?” Maggie whispered as Alex led her down to her office, tugging once on the door to the lab to make sure it was locked—an extra precaution she’d taken to ever since…but tonight wasn’t about those kinds of memories.

“That depends. Do you think I’m about to make all of your fantasies come true, Detective?” Alex purred.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“It doesn’t hurt to hear it more,” Alex teased as she shut and locked her office door behind them, flicking on just her desk lamp to give them enough light to see without drawing attention downstairs.

“I love you. I love you so damn much, Alex Danvers,” Maggie managed between heated kisses.

“Mm, but should we set the scene for this fantasy of yours? Did you have a specific image of how it would go down?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know.” Maggie shrugged, stumbling over her words slightly. Truth be told, she’d imagined several dozen versions of this scenario, but she certainly didn’t want to admit to something as creepy as that sounded.

“Well, what if I had texted you that I needed to see you down in my lab.”

“Uh, okay.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?” Alex teased, trailing a finger down Maggie’s chest before spinning away and sitting behind her desk.

“Oh, right, yeah. So, uh, what’s up? What did you have to tell me?”

“I had another miserable date last night,” Alex sighed dramatically. “I don’t know why I can’t make things work with anyone. Kara swears they’re all good guys, but, I don’t know, it’s like something just isn’t clicking.”

Maggie’s breath hitched slightly because this sounded so damn familiar, like too many afternoons she’d spent down here before happy hours, listening to Alex talk about failed dates and wondering if she simply wasn’t built for intimacy. The worst had been the nights when, after a few drinks, Alex had complained about just wanting to get laid, for the sex to be better than her vibrator for a change. Catching sight of Alex’s expectant expression, Maggie forced herself to speak: “Oh, yeah? I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sorry. “What was wrong with him?”

“Nothing? Everything?” And it sounded true to Alex too, sounded like a description of just about every date she’d gone on with the perfectly handsome, perfectly successful, perfectly fine men Kara and Lucy had set her up with over the years. “I was bored. Maybe my expectations are too high.”

“No,” Maggie insisted, shaking her head. “You deserve someone who would give you the world. You deserve everything.”

“You’re too good.”

“I’m not.”

“I mean, hell, you’re better than all the guys I date. You’re fun and funny, you know what I like and just what to say.” Biting her lower lip and trying not to laugh, Alex sighed loudly. “I just, oh, I shouldn’t say it.”

“Say what?” Maggie asked, leaning forward, suspecting they might be getting close to the sex, though maybe she needed to play her part a little better—a little less like she had in the past and more like she knew she could now.

“Nothing.” Alex shook her head.

Figuring now was her moment—so to speak—and swallowing her embarrassment, Maggie leaned forward. “What if I told you that I bet I could be better?”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked, a smirk flitting across her face before she could quite catch it.

Pulling herself up, Maggie strode around Alex’s desk and leaned over, cupping Alex’s face in her hand. “Do you trust me?”

“Always.”

Alex let her eyes flutter closed as Maggie’s mouth found hers, kissing her softly, then more deeply. As Maggie’s lips parted for hers, Alex found she didn’t care about staying in character; right now she really just needed Maggie.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Maggie moaned as Alex’s hands cupped and groped at her ass. She dropped to her knees, kissing at Alex’s inner thighs. She wondered briefly whether Alex wore a dress just for this occasion. “This good?” Maggie checked.

“Yes,” Alex exhaled, her head dropping back against the chair as Maggie pushed her dress up her legs and over her hips, carefully pulling down a black lace thong that Maggie resolved to appreciate later.

Figuring now wasn’t the time for playful teasing, Maggie looped her arms under Alex’s thighs, pulling her closer as her mouth found Alex, wet and waiting. She let herself get lost in Alex, in the taste of her arousal spilling out onto her tongue, in the sounds of bitten back moans and stifled sighs, in the feel of Alex’s thighs tightening around her or Alex’s fingers curling into her hair as her lips found Alex’s clit.

“Fuck,” Alex whimpered as Maggie built her up impossibly fast—or maybe it wasn’t that fast, but she’d lost all sense of time with Maggie between her thighs and her tongue doing that. She bit down hard on her finger to keep from crying out as Maggie took her clit between her lips and pushed her over the edge, holding tight to Alex’s hips to keep her steady as her whole body seemed to shake under the surge of pleasure.

“You okay?” Maggie whispered once she was sure Alex was good.

“So good,” Alex answered, her voice breathy and ragged. And as much as she wanted to drag Maggie home to their bed, she also didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to give Maggie the full breadth of her fantasy, so she pulled herself to her feet, pulling down her dress as she did, and pushed Maggie back toward the small sofa by the door.

“You don’t have to, Alex.”

“I want to.”

At that, Maggie let herself be pushed back down to the couch, gulping as Alex straddled one of her thighs, her fingers pulling down the zipper to her pants. “You good?”

Maggie just nodded, not quite trusting herself to get out words at the moment. Instead she focused on Alex’s fingers, on the way they undid her pants, on the way they slid under her waistband down through damp curls. “You’re so wet,” Alex rasped.

Maggie wanted to point out that there was no way she wouldn’t be after getting to go down on Alex, but instead she bit down on her sleeve to keep from making noise as Alex’s fingers, now coated in her arousal, began circling her clit.

“Let me help,” Alex whispered, leaning over to capture Maggie’s lips in a heated kiss. She sighed at every choked back moan, at the feeling of Maggie’s hands pulling her closer as her hips bucked up into her hands, urging her on. Feeling Maggie’s thighs tense, Alex focused on keeping her pace until Maggie’s whole body shuddered under her touch, finally collapsing back into the sofa.

Panting slightly, Maggie let her head drop back down to the cushion. “You’re amazing.”

“And so are you. Now what do you say we take this back to my place where we’ve got a real bed and some fancy ass chocolates I got us to celebrate?”

“I can’t think of anything better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me! I hope you enjoyed this AU! 
> 
> If you want to talk to me about the two other future multi-chapter fics I've been plotting out, feel free to come talk to me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @sapphicscholarwrites


End file.
